Depression it’s what’s for Dinner

This neck issue is extremely depressing.  So I am going to update/whine/ and a little bit of ranting.   So you have been warned.
So I was told by the doctor ,my work chose for me ,that I was denied my workman comp claim.  The lady from workman’s comp would call me and tell me why and she would charge my current insurance for all the crap my work decided was what we had to do first.  When my doctor would have sent me to my myelogram weeks ago.  So I waited for this dumbass woman to call. No call.  I spent most of the remainder of the day crying.  I was suppose to be getting my new house.  Now I am not working.  Running quickly out of sick time.  I did call and boo hoo to my boss.  Who told me I will have a job no matter what.  That great except that’s not going to help with the new house I was suppose to get.  I have the funds to make it a few months with no job.  That will eat all my savings for my new house.  My man who never really wanted the damn house keeps saying well maybe it’s for the better.  WHAT PART OF I HATE THIS FUCKING TIN CAN do you not understand?  He is actually trying this time to console me I know but I want to choke him at the same time.  This man who won’t move from this god forsaken redneck hell hill.  I could make twice the money I make now and work less.  I wouldn’t have this neck issue.  I wouldn’t be working mandatory overtime.  No wonder I hurt. Too many hours  and lack of staff.  That’s a whole other rant.
So I called her the next day 6 times and she finally answered the damn phone.
Well even though I was injured at work, on the clock, helping a patient my company can’t seem to pin point when I was injured.  So I was denied.  Meaning I got screwed.  I assume it has to do with the fact I have a previous workman’s comp.  What the effing difference does it make?  It happened at work!  It took a week for the dumb lady at the insurance claim to tell me this.  Especially after leaving messages everyday!  So she help eat up my vacation time.  So fine I will let me insurance pay for it.  So now I am waiting on said dumbass to send my denied letter to my neurologist office.  Which she said she has already sent.  I called and left a message on the secretaries answering machine.  YESTERDAY.  Still no call back or no idea what the hell I am waiting on.  Yea I am not a happy camper at all.  I called again today.  Redirected to that effin answering machine.  I didn’t leave anymore messages.  I called back the doctor’s office and asked to see if she had any luck since no one is returning my calls and this doctor’s office is the only one that believes in answering the phone.

DID I MENTION I AM STILL WAITING ON GETTING SCHEDULED FOR THIS MYELOGRAM???? 
 
So I wait.  I am not a very patient person.  These people who don’t do their jobs and follow up with messages.  All I want to know is what the hell am I waiting for.  It will take at least a week to get this effing thing scheduled and a few days to follow up with it.  Worse case scenario I am looking at yet another surgery.  Which will be a month to schedule, 6weeks to heal and 4 weeks therapy.  I hate people. 
I swear if my husband ask me if my shoulder/neck is better I am going to make his throat hurt from choking him.  No it still there.  Yes I have good days.  Today I am having a bad day.  No I didn’t do anything I wasn’t suppose to.  It’s fucked up and until they fix it there is no being normal again.  Not that I was ever normal.  Just abled bodied.
So there is my rant.  It took me a few days to type this.  I was pretty depressed and down and out.  Hard to type when all you want to do is cry.  Now I am in the angry, furious, might choke you if you look at me wrong stage.  Not sure what’s the next stage is….

Do you snoop?

Okay parents.  Do you snoop in your kids phones, computer, accounts, diaries?  Tell me the truth.  Are you a better parent for it or do you think that they deserve their privacy?  What if reading something makes you mad or realize you kids hate you.  What if reading something you find out you kid is having sex at an early age.  So tell me you feeling about snooping and keeping an eye on your kids.  I have complete control over my kids Facebook.  I don’t usually snoop on them but if something flags me I have no problem checking out messages or posts that she puts up. Besides the fact I found out she publicly posted the home number which made me mad.  I also found out she doesn’t want to go to the dance on Friday.  She doesn’t like the dress she has to choose from.  Her niece gave her a dress and it makes her look older.  As in 17 and she is only 14. I don’t think she needs to be parading around with her tatas half hanging out.  That’s my opinion.  I don’t think she need to advertising so young do you.  Okay so my dress she hates.  I told her all she had to do was state that she hated it.  Even though I think it looks great on her.  I do not think it’s out dated.  I am not a complete fashion moron.  Though I know it’s not black and no her boobs won’t show.  It does show of her figure nicely without shouting HOOTCHIE.  I mean come on.  My  other niece is posting pics of herself in her bra.  Her mom thought it was great for her boy friends to spend the night.  Um not this mom.  I am her mom not her friend.  But it still hurts that she can say some really hurtful things about me.  Things I wasn’t suppose to see.  But thing I can’t unsee.  I know if my mom read my diary she would FREAK out and probably cry.  But in today’s day an age there is sexing and Facebooking. Its not like a diary where it’s just your thoughts that should remain private.  You have to worry about drugs, sex and suicide.  Ugh…I wish this parenting was over with…some days it truly sucks.  So tell me your thoughts?  Am I prying too much?

This is how I feel

This is one of the reason's I have not blogged in awhile.  With all the neck issues, missed worked, and failed attempts at getting a new home.  I pretty much don't feel like chewing through the restraints to blog.  Maybe tomorrow....I really need to update i know.

My dogs

This is pretty much how my labs act.  I love this pic.  Of course my screen door is no more.  They usually just burst right through....lol

Overworked and Underpaid

I have come to the conclusion that too many people are becoming nurses for the wrong reason.  They think it’s easy and you will make a lot of money.  Now don’t get me wrong they make more than working at Wal-Mart.  However I really get tired of hearing about how much money I am making now that I am an RN.  Give me a break between the 45 min drive which helps suck up extra money and the fact that this area is over populated with “new” nurses the rate of pay is much less than in most areas.  My husband works for a popular soda franchise and makes just as much as I do.  No college education required how’s that for making the big bucks?  Not to mention you don’t get paid for the amount of work you put into to it.  Did you know all the job roles a nurse plays?  So before you think about becoming a nurse or treating a nurse rudely or pushing your call light for the 100th time let me tell you what your nurse is:

1. A mother-  Between disciplining those that are misbehaving or trying to teach those why smoking is causing your breathing difficulties.  To using my eyes in the back of my head to watch you try to “sneak a smoke”
2. Teacher-  every time I discharge a person I teach the correct way to change their dressing, how to take their medication and how important it is to follow up with their doctor.  It’s amazing just how many people will take a suppository by mouth.
3. Janitor-  There have been times when I had to get out the ole plunger because some idiot flushed the non flushable wipes down the commode.
4. Housekeeper- working nights we have no housekeeping after midnight.  So we get to empty trash, clean the rooms, and take out the over flowing trash
5. Counselor-  You always have to listen to your patients problems and sometimes not that you want to you might get dragged into the family member’s problems.  Hard to get away while you are sticking a patient.  Actually had a family member tell me a lot of personal information.  When I really wanted to tell them to shut up.  I am trying to focus on the lady who can’t breathe right now.  Any other time I wouldn’t care. 
6. Babysitter-  You would think this has to do with kids.  When we have to help each other hold pediatric patients down so we can stick them or cath them.  But there are the drunks or the suicidal patients that need babysitting so that they don’t escape.  Or take their clothes off and walk down the hall butt naked.  Your welcome. 
7. Lab tech- yep you come in you are going to get stuck.  We don’t have a lab that sticks our patients for us unless they are doing a type and cross.
8. Forensic nurse-  for those DUI idiots we get to draw their blood and then get subpoenaed to court to prove we know what we are doing.  Fun.  Usually occurs on our day off or when we should be sleeping for those night shift nurses
9. Referee-  usually due to some idiot who decided to pretend to have a heart attack to avoid his wife busting him from cheating on him.  Hey dumb ass don’t invite the girlfriend the wife will show at some point and time.
10. Pharmacist.- since the nurse is the last person  to be giving the medication you better take the time to double check the med.  Because it’s your license on the line.  I have found calculation errors by the pharmacy or the fact a patient didn’t mention they were allergic to it.  Always tell the patient what your giving and ask do you have any allergies.  That has saved my ass more than once.
11. Computer tech-  not always one of my specialties.  However I know my charge nurse has fixed my computer a time of two.  Especially when it locks up.
12. Human resources-  this is where you try to help you patient who cannot afford the follow care.  So you direct them to doctors that take sliding scale.  Also to dentist’s that have reduced fees.  You also need to know the 4 dollar medication list for Wal-Mart.  Because you will be asked that a lot.  Is this med on the 4 dollar list?  Luckily someone made us a list to look at.
13. Waitress-  this is wear I get warm blankets, straws, drinks, snacks,  reposition your bed, pillow etc. etc.  I never get any tips either.
14. Police officer-  nope no matter what game you play you will not be leaving if I gave you a narcotic medication.  It is against the law to use and drive.  If you try to leave my dept. I will have security escort you back to your room.  I also have no problem taking your keys from you either.
15. Secretary/ Receptionist-  ER….this is….how can I help you?  Not to mention filing away the discharge papers. Whoops sorry didn’t mean to hang up on you while I was transferring you.
16. Judge, Jury and Executioner -Yup I am going to judge you when you come in you stupid frequent flyer. I am also going to decided just how much bullshit we are going to tolerate from you. Then as your executioner I am going to convince the doctor to send you home with Motrin.

Yea there is probably more…but I am tired just thinking about them all. So before you jump into nursing make sure you are ready to do all these jobs.  Too bad we don’t get paid for them all.  Then we might get the recognition we deserve.

How you found me on Blogger

So my friend at Southerndysfunction wrote a blog about how people use key words or sites to find your blog.  First I want to thank at your cervix for all the traffic because apparently most of my viewer come from that site.  Awesome.  I love that blog.  Anyway the main reason I am typing this blog is for the key words in how some people stumble on my site.  Here goes

1. Redneck Easter/ redneck Easter basket. ~which is a lovely picture of my brother in law using a beer box for his son’s Easter basket
2. Clothes squishing boobs in ~ really?  I don’t remember ever talking about that subject.  I don’t usually have that problem.  Now squishing gut into jeans.  That’s more like a subject you might find in this blog
3. Herpes on balls~  OMG really you typed that and my blog came up?  I don’t recall that subject.  Unless you are talking about my ex sister in law and what she might be spreading to her man’s balls…muahhaha
4. People wearing PJ’s to Wal-Mart ~ yup one of my biggest pet peeves.  That I do recall ranting about at least a 100 times
5. Agitated patient ~ more like aggravating patients…but okay sure
6. Creepy girl clown and clown spawn- that is really weird since clowns really freak me out.

That’s it for now.  I will let you know if I have any more wonderful key words that revert you to my blog.

Neck update

So I woke up on Monday in a whole lot of pain.  Tried to get in with the doctor.  No such luck so I had to call in.  I went on Tuesday only to get bad news.  Apparently my ability to turn my head and raise my arms has gotten worse.  She asked me had I been doing my light duty.  Pfft light duty.  I told her I was an ER nurse there is no light duty especially on night shift where we have less staff.  Yes I haven’t been lifting, pushing or pulling more than 20 lbs.  I have been on mandatory overtime.  Which means I work 36 hours and 50 the other week.  All of the stuff I need to do my job is above my head and it’s impossible for me to get other nurses to help me there.   I mean my crew is awesome and help me in a pinch.  But with us already running around with our head cut off I can get them to help me get a freaking gown down.  Really?  I already feel useless as it is. So the Doctor was worried that I might makes things worse under the stress of the job, the extra hours and the fact I work night shift.  Which makes it hard to stay on my meds.  Most of which make me drowsy well at least the muscle relaxer do.  I request no narcotics.  I was using toradol which is a miracle drug.  Only problem my stomach hates it.  So muscle relaxers and NSAIDS to help.  Since the new med Mobic isn’t working she put me on Ultram.  Another great med.  But it also causes drowsiness.  So it’s good for that reason that I was put out of work.  Means I can get some much needed relief.  I just hope my coworker don’t get upset with me because I not working.  I already feel like a slacker as it is.  I don’t think some realize just how much pain I was in.  I tried to stay cheery and myself only to find myself in the bathroom in tears because I was hurting so bad.  I truly did try to  hang on as long as I could.  I know I am a grown adult and should careless what people think.  But when it comes to my job I want to get along with everyone.  Makes it easier to love you job.  If you cause to much of a stir and cause drama makes you hate your job even more.  So I am stuck home for 2 weeks…I hate that since I am such a social person.  But the good thing is I have time to blog and catch up on blogs.  Not to mention visit my favorite forum JUN.  Bad thing is no gym, no work, no lifting anything greater than 5 lbs. ( my little dog is not happy) and no contact with my friends…cause most of those people I work with…

I need a real man

WARNING THIS IS A RANT…WARNING THIS IS A RANT
WARNING THIS IS A MAN BASHING RANT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Okay I know this isn’t the 50’s and we have woman's rights and all that crap but some days all I want is my man to grow some balls and be a man.  Is that too much?  I work 36 hours one week and almost 50 the next week.  I do the anything that is related to the dentist,doctor or school appointments for the kids.  The house that we are getting?  I got the 40 pieces of papers needed to get the loan.  I looked at 30 different home by myself till I got it down to 2.  I battled with 4 different loans till I found the right one.  I am the one that takes the dogs to the vet, walk and bathe them. I vacuum, dust, spring clean the house, laundry, the bills. I am the one that gets all the gifts for Christmas, birthdays, and holidays.  I am the Easter bunny and Santa.  I take my car to get the oil change, tires rotated and parts fixed.
We do share the cooking chore.  His father takes the trash off.  He only mows when the grass is 1 foot tall.  So you would think I wouldn’t get cussed out for asking him to take the loan papers to the post office to get the postage paid. I can help that I have to sleep before I go into work. 
You would think he could take and hour and half out of his day off to take my car to get the part replaced so I could sleep because I just got home at 7am from work.  No he bitched that it wasn’t part of his plan for the day?  Part of your plan? WTF really what was your plan?  Oh you wanted to sleep before we go drop off more info on our house.  Because I needed    made you to go do the man part of the loan on your day off?  WTF  I don’t ask for him to do much so for one FREAKING time it would be nice if he would refrain from cussing and just say sure dear I would be happy to take care of that for you. 
Nothing pisses me off more than when I am cleaning the house and you disappear and reappear when it’s completed or even worse when your sitting on you ass in your recliner and after everything is done you ask what can I do.  You can go back outside before I hit you with this frying pan.
I spend my other time trying to go to the gym to stay in shape, balance time with the kids, and time with the man.
Oh and somewhere in all this woman’s work I have to make time to do my wifely duty.  When all I really want to do is smother you with your pillow…grrr
So MAN up and do the man shit.  Because you are so lacking in that dept.  Going outside and planting flowers doesn’t count.  That’s a hobby.  It would be nice for you to replace the faucet on the tub that was bought at Lowes by me 5 months ago that still hasn’t been put on.  The roof that still needs to be sealed.  The front porch mess that you make that needs to be addressed.  And don’t even get me started on cleaning your truck and car out.  Both smell like ass and nasty dog.  I have only begged, pleaded, bitched and threatened for you to get done.  Especially on your vacation where all you did was nap, ride your bike, hunt and watch the boob tube.   I was off work 2 days and did more than you did the entire week off asshole.  I only gave you that one chore to do on your vacation and you never completed.  Oh and to add to the list…I am the one that always calls, plans and pays for our vacation getaways.  Because I really don’t think you have a clue how to use the credit card or phone.

Okay I feel better…

Facebook I don’t Like you

I have kept my 2 cents to myself long enough.  I think it was time to explain to the people what the like button is all about.
Okay people.  There is a concept with the like button.  If you like what the person is typing about…you hit the like button.  If the picture they posted is great you hit the like button.  Post a musical video you like…ta da you hit the like button.  Can you see a pattern going on here?  Good because here are a few times I really wanted to post you like this??? WTF
Here goes…when NOT to hit the like button.

1. Today I lost my best friend~  okay unless this best friend was a bitch or maybe a horrible person then I might click the like button.  But at least explain yourself
2. I lost my sister today.  She battle cancer for the last year and I am glad she isn’t suffering anymore~  okay don’t hit the like button.  If even if you agree that she is no longer in pain.  It appears that you are glad she is dead.
3. Ugh I have the crud today~  this was on my Facebook.  My friends actually liked this.  I really wanted to invite them to my house so I could cough on them.  Really?  You love that I have the crud.
4. Lord I am glad today is over…bad day.  I hate having code blues.~  yup someone like that.  Are you liking that there was a code blue, that someone died?  Or that she had a bad day.  Let’s hope it’s the fact the day ended.  Really?  Would it have hurt to actually type glad your day is over maybe it will be better tomorrow?
5. Copied and pasted from a friends Fb: It really sux when something u have believed and trusted in turns out to be meaningless and empty ....12 people liked this?  Really are you sure these 12 people aren’t the ones you should trust.
6. Another cut and paste: The crime rate is rising on a local college campus. We told you about crime rates going up on Tusculum College's campus last week.  ~yup people like this.  HMMM cops maybe you should swing by these people’s houses.  Maybe they are the criminals since they  like the fact the crime rates have gone up
7. There is a video of a accident of a some idiot that was texting.  Completely caused a bad accident and there was nothing left of the driver.  Yes great message to not text…but liking it is kinda morbid.
8. And last but not least on my last post…Depressed…bleck.  yup had people like that.  Glad I didn’t post going to slit my wrists or anything.  My husband even noticed that.  Why are people liking you depression.  I have no idea.

So please stop using the like button to appear that you are actually reading people’s post.  Because if your not actually reading them and you click like incorrectly…it’s a bit weird.  I do agree fb does need to add a dislike button.  But it’s just as easy to type dislike or even a brief message. Like I hope things get better soon.  Even that sucks.  So today’s lesson is brought to you by the letter D…as in DUH. The number 2 as in shit people use your common sense…and the letter B as in boy I’m a bitch I know.

The Horror Home

Yes that’s exactly what buying a home is like..a nightmare or even some type of horror movie.  So we own our land and thought lets build.  But with all the horror stories I already heard we decided to go with a Modular.  Though to me when you look a ranch style modular it still looks like a double wide.  Except you get a deed instead of a title and its 15,000 dollars more.  The first place we started at had a loan for 6.5% and she had us deed our new land before we got started.  Cost us 650 dollars.  Only to be told that we would have to redo it because the new land needed to be deeded with the old land.  So we took our business elsewhere.  Which was a good move on our part because I found out from one of my docs I work with that I should be able to get a cheaper % rate.  Which I was able to get.  4.5%  So the loan was ready to go.  Found the house of our dreams.  Especially the kitchen.  But I had a back up with another company just in case. Which was smart on my part because the Nightmare is the salesman.
He never calls me when he says he will.  Email pfft never.  The second house we like the salesman he calls, emails and keeps me in the loop what is next.  Unfortunately the 2nd house is all on paper.  The model is so new there is no pictures or model to walk through.  Which makes me a little leery.
Back to the asshole salesman.  The handyman was suppose to stop by on a Friday to appraise the tin can and look at the land to get ideas on the driveway.  He was a no show.  We reschedule for the next Friday.  The asshole salesman was suppose to call Monday to let me know what time Friday.  No call.  I call him Wednesday.  He will call Thursday no call.  I call him FRIDAY morning.  Oh yea he is coming I will let you know when.  PFFT hell no.  The guy called and said I will be there in an hour.  I got my quote for my monthly payment.  We were really happy.  But the loan lady made it sound like it was the Giles model and not the Norris model I was quoted.  When I try to get verification from the salesman I got put off or the subject changed.  Oh we are still waiting for the plans…blah blah blah.  Even worse oh your salesman is off the entire weekend.  Then I call Monday oh he came in on Friday but took Monday off.

Well the nice salesman I let him know that we really like the other layout and feel a little apprehensive about purchasing a house we can’t walk through.  So he asked me which house. Good new he can get that model.  So I faxed everything I had and talked to my loan lady.  Yes I can switch my salesman without messing up my loan.  AWESOME.

So now I had kept them both going.  I want the best deal and the person who can get my payment under 600 a month get me.  Or so that was my plan.  Till the new nice salesman started showing me just how the other place is hoodooing me.  First the “plans” the asshole salesman was waiting on the nice salesman got from Norris company.  So there’s another lie.  There is a 15,000 dollar difference in the price and the nice salesman isn’t sure how the asshole is getting my monthly payment where I want it.  He tried to get it that low and was unsuccessful.  But he was honest and gave other suggestions to help cut some costs.

I went back to the assholes asked to see the estimated cost and monthly payments.  Now my asshole salesman is telling me his boss has been working on the figures and he is on vacation.  I do love what the nice salesman said.  They can not take personal information out of the office.  So my papers were there and the asshole is full of shit.  What really aggravates me is the asshole has my 250 dollars for my appraisal fee.  I really need to get it back.  I don’t know if my dream house is worth putting up with these liars.  The nice salesman seems to think they will drag it out till they wear me out and I agree to some ridiculous monthly payment.  Even though I told that that would not happen.  That if in the end we don’t get my monthly payment I will walk.
I have great credit and a fantastic loan why the hell these idiots won’t be honest with me irks the crap out of me.   So after having my hubby with me this time he is in agreeance that this guy has to go.  Even if we lose our dream home and have to get second best.  So I will be calling Monday for them to refund my money.  The nice salesman told me if he tries to keep my money let him know he had the main managers number.  Plus it’s against their policy to keep the money.  But the nice salesman really thinks he will try to bluff me so that I stay.

 So buying a house is a pain in the ass.  I have been “in process” since NOVEMBER.  There is no ground even broken yet.  At this rate it will be Christmas before I get my new home.  This is so frustrating.

Back issues

To All of my old followers I am sure you remember my months of posting about my back and being out of work. Not to mention months of being stuck home. I did have plenty of time to blog though. Awhile back I had a psych patient that was being violent and I ended up pulling my shoulder. Which turn out to be a pinched nerve. Apparently it's not any better because last thursday I really hurt it. Now I am on
Iight duty, steroids, muscle relaxers and NSAIDs. Which Is making me a hormonal mess. If the meds don't cause severe mood swings, fatigue i get to look forward to excess sweating. Note to self bring extra deodorant. Mine apparently ran out half way thru the night. Hand sanitizer mixed with flower lotion will not help. What was worse I thought the patient smelled and it was me....ewww. Had to call the floors to send me deodorant down to the ER. How sad is that. Light duty is a joke in the ER since when is there light duty anything? No lifting, pushing or pulling more than 20 pounds, no bending, squatting. No raising either arm about head. Hello all the gowns are above my head. Not to mention towels, wash rags and bed sheets. That doesn't work at all. I already feel like crap and now i have to call employees to get things down! Like they have time for that. Not to mention we are on mandatory overtime so I still feel over worked. How the hell am I suppose to get better. They are already lining me up to see a neurologist. That way I can get a mylelogram done. Which I had done before. It was the most painful procedure I have ever had done. And I have had back surgery and two kids. So I hurt, feel useless at work, fatigued from all the drugs, and scared to death I might be on the road to another surgery. I just want to go to bed and throw the covers over my head and hide some.mmi wish they would back off on work a little. I might get the chance to really recover. Ugh so frustrated
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Here Piggy Piggy: Update

Well I quit weight watchers to save money so I could join the gym.  I just couldn’t keep the weight down.  So exercise it is.  I have lost of total of 21 pounds.  That is if the steroids I am on doesn’t change that.  I work out about 3 days a week for about 45 mins.  I am hoping that helps me keep the weight down or work harder at the gym when I cheat.  I really hate the cravings I get.  It reminds me of when I was pregnant.  I would get an item stuck in my head and I would have to get it and eat it.  Sucks.  Especially right now at 4 in the morning where I would love to have a piece of cake.   mmmm cake.  No I refuse to make a cake at the crack of dawn.  The kids might think we are having cake for breakfast…lol  Yea that’s a great reason not to eat cake.   Well anyway.  I am doing me best.  I am at 141 and my goal is 133 so less than 10 pounds.  If I can resist the temptations…damn you Starbucks I just might make it.  I don’t want to be a skinny mini but I would love to look healthy.  Nothing more depressing than a nurse who doesn’t look healthy.  I don’t want to be telling my patients they should stop smoking if I can’t back off on the bread.  Kind of hypocritical don’t you think?