weird redneck doings

okay so I have learn that the rednecks here are entertain with simple things, eat strange things and say weird stuff here goes…

1. My husband does not like cake…let me say it again does not like cake but his mom will insist on making cake for his birthday every year that never gets eaten….what does he like? Icing…as in tube of it and eating it plain… So my daughter bought him that tube above..
2. Leading to my mans next obsession…the color of his poop after eating such an item…or asking others that have eaten blue poop coloring icing…yea just what mejis wants you to ask…is the baby’s poo blue?
3. Following a comment the next day…i tried to take a pic of the poo with the camera..but the lighting was all wrong.. serious? just the lighting was wrong with that statement? sheesh
4. What did his sister get him for his birthday? A whole pork loin…hmm meat from your sis…redneck
5. My crazy redneck lab dog…enjoys cleaning my mans toes…only his toes…and i have seen him chewing on his toe nails…can you say ewww gross!!!
6. My man has chewed on a milk bone just to aggravate the dog…mmm minty fresh!
7. Another gift for his birthday…moonshine..yea major redneck border lining into hillbilly
8. My man also has no problem with a birthday cake like this…. yup he watches SpongeBob…blames the kids..yet they are sometimes at school when he is watching
9. my hubby finds it funny to throw farts..ask for a hug and then fart…pull the covers over your head..fart…oh yea what entertainment
10. Also i have learned when he says hey look a raccoon…does not mean its alive…sure Hun lets play identify the dead thing on the side of the road..whoo hee
11. I have learn also that rednecks cannot take pictures…even if they have the same camera as me…people are never centered, and 12 pictures of the same bird is not exciting…unless its rare…but a sparrow or whatever that bird was…not interesting
12. When my man want his brother…he will ask me to message mejis and have her tell him…ugh..its called the telephone..or even sadder walk up there…they live right behind us…
13. Or if his brother is shooting or playing with fireworks…mine has to retaliate with his own gun or fireworks…like he has to one up his brother..is that some type of redneck mating dance…bang i have big balls…i am sexier..come mate with me? good grief…anyway that is my redneck man

Redneck Texting

I will tell you that first I am not a fan of texting.  Never had it and usually block it from my plan so I don’t get charged for stupid texts.  Hey its call the invention of the telephone…you just talk in it.  Okay Okay i know that in some instances texting is quiet and doesn’t disturb others but anyway…I have finally moved up in the world and got a blk berry.  Which just feeds my internet addiction.   I got it because my instructors are constantly emailing and changing their minds when if comes to meetings and deadlines.  Now I get my emails straight to my phone just in case they change their mind at the last min.  Anyway on to the redneck world…my hubby got a new phone when we upgraded and it has a better signal than what we had.  So my hubby, who goes to bed at 830 most nites, was up until 12 midnight playing with his new phone.  Even called me from the bedroom for me to bring him a beer…great now we have room service?The package that I have with my phone gives us free texting.  So for shits and giggles I sent him one while at work on lunch break…only after the second one I get a message that say F Y this shit sucks just call me… (that was the exact message) well at least it was spelled right my brother in law has issues with spelling.  I know the king of taking pictures of every Efin  nature thing in the world and send it to me via texts pics….yea!  Yup its a flower…and another flower..lol  But the most amusement he has right now is calling with in the house to ask whatcha doing?  Like he doesn’t call me enough already throughout the day. Sheesh. But to top it all off was when he ask me to ask my sisterinlaw to ask her man to send him that picture of the cougar dragging off some deer.  Why can’t they talk to each other?  Why are we the go to person?  Have they forgot how to use the phone? Pfft!

fake seizure

 

I would like to share this video that I found…which can kinda tell you what I have to deal with some days.

So a few days ago I get an EMS call over the radio saying that this patient has had 10 seizures on route to the ER.  So this patient is coming to my room that I am assigned to.  It had been a long time since I had to deal with a seizure.  My coworker are laughing about it and me new to the scene have no idea why.  I look up and there is this woman lying on the stretcher with her arms flapping and legs kicking.  First I was like wow…then when I really got into the room I was like what kinda of fit is this?  Then it stopped.  She didn’t talk for awhile.  Then started acting like nothing was wrong.  I asked all the questions and got her list of meds.  When I was done I went to the nurses station.  They said first time you’ve seen her?  I replied yes.  What the heck kind of fits are those?  I know that's not a seizure.  They said they are pseudo seizures. (fake for the non medical people).  She’s a regular the proceed to tell me.  Well then I hear a bunch of ruckus and notice my adult patient having a “seizure which looked more like this…  minus the crying…the doctor had entered the room.  He was wise to this act and instructed the woman to stop.  That he knew she was not indeed having a seizure.  She just intensified it some more.  So we came in to help.  Was instructed to get some ammonia sticks.  Which is use to help regain consciousness of a patient that has passed out.  Let’s just say if your faking it’s like sticking your nose right over a bottle of cleaning ammonia and taking a big o’le whiff.  She stopped her “seizure”  so she could roll away from the awful smell.  Forgetting she was suppose to be kicking…and she had just one hand going now.  He instructed that she stop or he would have to use the ammonia again to help calm her down since now she was shoving the doctor away and banging her arms on the side rails.  He stated that he didn’t want her to harm herself but she kept pretending to be having seizures.  After the 2nd dose of ammonia she stopped.  What makes people want to do this?  Mental issues?  Attention?  Drugs?  Found out drugs…she was telling the doctor she needed Dilaudid for her headache that the seizures caused….can I get some for the head ache she caused us?  GRR
PS:  I also was informed she isn’t the only regular that does this.  In fact the patient will state in her history part that she has pseudo seizures….dear lord help me

Mental hospital

Okay so we did our orientation at the mental hospital. It was a bit boring…HIPPA this HIPPA that…I found out that I will be doing my clinicals in September. I will either been in one of the Wards or I will get to be in one of the group therapy sessions. Worst would be going to court and having to listen and find out if they can go home or not. Not real interesting to me. I would rather be on the ward. Some would rather do the court. Why? Because they don’t like being in the mental hospital. They don’t like the locked in feeling. Give me a break. Or one…(giggling) actually back up against the wall every time a patient walked by…hmm do they think they will never encounter a mental patient? First of all if your in ER you are really going to see the crazies. I work long term and we get alot of the psychotic patients that don’t get committed. So believe me they are everywhere. We actually have on patient that when I give her meds you actually leave the pills on the bedside table (don’t worry i watch from the door frame) because she will just look at you and you have that feeling like she would grab anything sharp just to stab you with it. Or how about the patient when she over hears you laughing she thinks your plotting something against her and she goes ape crazy. So yes its in most lines of nursing. Time to get over your fears…cause hell aren’t we all just a bit insane?

when things go wrong

okay so being a nurse your going to encounter days when things go wrong. Like for instance an admission that alot of medications were missed. Aggravated because it was because someone didn’t complete it correctly. Some nurses jump the gun and start placing the blame. Just fix it. I would still report it. Why? Maybe the nurse was short handed or maybe the orders were a mess. Believe me i have seen some orders from other hospitals that it make me want to scream what the hell? I almost wished for a standardized form so that it would make it easier. You know here is the list of discharge meds, activity, DNR status, diet etc etc. Instead we have to rewrite it if they don’t come from one of our hospitals. And like I said before trying to find all the information can lead to meds being missed. Being shorthanded doesn’t help. If your trying to be the telephone operator,CNA,med nurse, skilled nurse, mother, teacher, and many other jobs rolled into one. Mistakes can happen. In the state of Il they are prosecuting nurses that make med errors. Do you know how easy it is to mess up? I know one day i was passing out meds and was interrupted at least 10 times. That is no exaggeration…between family members asking questions, answering the phone, helping CNA, getting call lights, or many other distractions. You can find yourself thinking where was I now? All it takes is to think I was on this patient..when you weren’t.

But the sad part is most times things go wrong because its just a lazy nurse that didn’t want to do her job. Which in itself is another rant all together. GRRRRR!

Plastic patients

So on Monday my teacher sent our Simulation via email. So at 9am I found out I had 2 simulation patients. One that was in labor and one that was postpartum. Considering I hadn’t had OB since..oooooh…3yrs ago. I had to cram. But we didn’t do to bad. And the instructor knew how much time we had to study up on it and how long it had been. It was amazing just how realistic the SIM’s patients are. You can actually check the cervix on it. I didn’t do that great with checking. But since I have never done it before…i was okay with it. This wasn’t a grade. Its use to teach you. The instructors are great. They don’t make you feel like an idiot. They actually teach you. I thought the plastic pt. was 5cm dilated only…that was the baby’s head..not the cervix…hehe o-well. Oh yes our patient was a drug seeker to top it off and that she drank and used drugs the entire pregnancy…glad it was fake…though i know there are patients like that. I did an INT on the Sims and did just fine. YEA for me The next patient I had to take lead nurse. That sucked…i kept stumbling over my words and my dag gone patient. Wouldn’t let me to my assessment. She kept detouring to more patient teaching subjects. I am use to patients that pretty much when I say hey I am going to assess you then we will go over any questions that you have..they listen. So I missed something important on my assessment because of it. Another learning lesson. The other student with us did a med error…and a couple of us couldn’t help but laugh at some of the things the dummy (SIMS) would say or come up with…I think some of it was a little of the wall. Which really reminds me of Grey’s Anatomy…SIM Man episode…hehe check it out...click here

2 year of nursing

So this is 2nd year of nursing. With only 2 semesters left until graduation. I spent today in orientation wondering how the hell any normal person gets thru this. Finding out that I have Class Monday afternoons followed by 2 hour of being at the hospital (6 to 8pm) to get assignments and going thru the patient’s chart. Then put together a worksheet about them and turn it in the am. Yea a whole lot of time there. I didn’t need sleep. Then clinicals on Tuesday at the hospital. (630-330pm) We are in charge of one patient, which we do everything for, meds, bed baths, bed changes, vital signs. I have pages and pages of crap that has to be done for clinicals. Like every cotton pickin medication the patient is on. Which is usually around 16. So i have to make a drug card for each, what it is, side effects, dosage and many other facts. I have to fill out a paper on each and that’s not including the many hours of homework from my actual classes.Wednesday class again. Found out that most Thursday's will consist of make up clinicals for the LPN’s or other clincals for the fall class. Which each have worksheets that have to be completed and turned in. I have 2 care plans this semester. And if any of you were following me before you know that the one I had over the summer…i invested 33 hours into it. So my books are about 30lbs all together…yes i weighed them, being tugged 14 directions, the teachers are constantly changing clinical dates, not to mention not telling us half the crap we need till the last minute, I am schooling it 4 days a week, working 2 days a week and somewhere in there i have 2 kids and a bigger kid (hubby), a household to run…so do I have enough to keep me busy? What do you think

Mental hospital: nursing school

Okay so we did our orientation at the mental hospital. It was a bit boring…HIPPA this HIPPA that…I found out that I will be doing my clinicals in September. I will either been in one of the Wards or I will get to be in one of the group therapy sessions. Worst would be going to court and having to listen and find out if they can go home or not. Not real interesting to me. I would rather be on the ward. Some would rather do the court. Why? Because they don’t like being in the mental hospital. They don’t like the locked in feeling. Give me a break. Or one…(giggling) actually back up against the wall every time a patient walked by…hmm do they think they will never encounter a mental patient? First of all if your in ER you are really going to see the crazies. I work long term and we get alot of the psychotic patients that don’t get committed. So believe me they are everywhere. We actually have on patient that when I give her meds you actually leave the pills on the bedside table (don’t worry i watch from the door frame) because she will just look at you and you have that feeling like she would grab anything sharp just to stab you with it. Or how about the patient when she over hears you laughing she thinks your plotting something against her and she goes ape crazy. So yes its in most lines of nursing. Time to get over your fears…cause hell aren’t we all just a bit insane?

Conversations: What dat?

So I walked down to my mother in laws to pick up a “mess of corn” (not my wording) anyway the clan of redneck children were there munching on frozen ice pops. Problem was no one got one for my niece. Who was politely longing at everyone's icey. So I got one out for her from the freezer. I tried to let her choose… what i got was a parrot…do you want Blue? bue or do you want red…red and we have yellow…ewwo and she sticks her 2 yr old fingers out…so i said blue it is…excited we went outside…where as to avoid dripping on mammy’s carpet. I figured by the time we were done she would be blue. I preceded to show her how to eat the popsicle which she would lick and it would fall back down in the plastic sheath. Finally she gave up trying to understand how to push it up and turned it up and drank the juice out. The tried to pull out the pop but it must have been really cold. Because she dropped it. And of course…phobe got it. No bebe…I told her it was dirty. Because she was going to reach down and grab it from the grouchy dog….hmmm lets keep the fingers kid. Phobe must have gotten brain freeze from trying to eat it. And step back from it. Beebee eattttt…and she pointed at it…LOL Now she was commanding the little grouchy blk dog. Who was looking at her like who is this little shit and who is she to tell me what to do!
The gang of kids left to bike ride and we made ourselves comfortable on the 2 seater swing. I was watching my little blk dog as we were swing. who dat? phoebe…i said coco no phoebe. Then she started her roll call as her mother calls it. where papaw…i don’t know…home she said. No we are at papaw. were coco? at Trish's i said. what dat? pointing at Dr. pepper…drrpep she said. what dat?…and while we swung she continued to absorb all the answers that i was giving her to her numerous amount of questioning of what dat? All I needed was a giant light and I would feel like I was being grilled. Then she jumped down and commanded becca come on…and we went toward the house. She threw away her trash!!! She definitely doesn’t get that from my brother in laws side of the family…lol then she commanded becca come on…bebe come on…we were on our way back outside. Course It was time to leave…sad part is I think that was the longest conversation that I have had today…Sad isn’t it?

It’s official

Okay so i have officially passed my LPN to RN transition class. Which means that I am officially a 2nd year RN nursing student. Yea! So I thought I was going to have the next 2 weeks to enjoy while my kids and in-laws leave for the beach. Imagine it no one on this redneck hill. Peace and quiet…nope I have to make up 45 hours of clinical time since the stupid nursing board said that we don’t have enough hours. So of course the crazy advisor is throwing things at us that we can do to make it up. So I have to go to the mental hospital on the 18th and OB Sims lab on the 11th. Trying to do 16 hours at the free clinic. So cram cram cram before the fall classes. I wish i was rich and could stay home instead of work. lol We were also informed that we have to be flexible. Which means I have a feeling that our clinicals are going to be throw at us at the last moment. Meaning my boss isn’t going to be thrilled. I wished they would have everything down on paper. My work makes the schedule out 2 months in advance. So trying to get off cause of conflicts is hard. I am spending today to myself…well except for the stupid hour and 5 mins I had to spend at one of those annual update meeting for work…whoo hee. Got a free towel. wow…So that is what is up with me.