Let the shit hit the fan

So as I was saying that buying this house has seriously been a nightmare.  But I really wasn’t expecting my neighbors (family member) to join in the fun of it.  Apparently we pissed said neighbor when the surveyor came and place our little stakes in the ground.  He was upset to find out that he didn’t own as far back as he thought.  Well after the nightmare that day that the bank did to us the dealer sent out the contractor to stop by.  That way he could see if there will be anything in the way of placing our home on our land.  For instance we have a building and a barn that they have to pull this monstrosety through.  We the contractor was measuring the driveway to see if there would be enough room.  The asshole   neighbor came flying out of his house along with his one-legged heifer wife.  They started yelling and saying that not one wheel of their truck will touch his land.  Blah blah blah and how he owns most of the driveway.  Which I believe he is full of shit.  So now we have to remove a tree so we can get our house to our land.  WTF.  He would rather kill a tree than harm his grass?  Grass not shrubs, flowers or anything that might get damage.  Grass and btw sand.  Where the drive washes out at the bottom of the hill.   He is such an a-hole aw hell he is the whole flipping ass.  So I thought that would be the end of it.
Nope my father in law went down to try to talk sense into his brother.  Boy that went over like a turd in a punch bowl.  His one-legged heifer  called the cops.  Cried and said that her husband was being beaten up.  Really?  You had to hide behind your woman’s skirt?  Awwww…are we a pussy?    
Anyway my father in law pretty much told the officer of his harassment of the kids, the name calling and the flipping of the bird.   The cop tells him that he might be able to get along with his neighbors better if he stopped acting that way.
So what does he do?  After the cop leaves he takes tent stakes and stake off his land.   And places a tent stake in the drive way.   Now I don’t know about you but I don’t drive with a flipping magnify glass.  Who the hell is going to see that?  My tire which will probably receive a flat.  Hope he like’s purchasing new ones.  After all is said and done he wanted my father in law to shake his hand.  WTF?  Nothing was solved. 
As soon as I got home from the grocery store my father in law had to show me how I need to drive up the drive way from this day forward.  I told my father in law I would try that but in the freaking dark I will never see that stake.  I also told him I plan to sue when it damages my car.  He instructed that I needed to be nice so as I don’t upset him worse.  Who the effin cares.  I don’t.  In fact I am thinking about placing a nice compost pile at the borderline of our property.  Maybe placing a fan to wharf the smell directly to his screened in back porch.   Or hello the dog kennels so they can bark at him the entire time he is working in the garden.  UGH!  But I won’t I still have to live here.  Though I am tempted to call the law every time he drives since I know he is most likely intoxicated.  But if he keeps cat calling my kids while they wait for the bus I am calling the law….oh and the stake now has a bucket over it.  I guess my FIL told him about the lawsuit…it amazes me the comments I hear about this family member and how no likes him.  Yet they still hang around him. 
I figure the water meter will be the next big hurdle.  Since it’s on his piece of land.  I did love my FIL telling him he could get his damn mail box of his land then.

Free Candy and a puppy

Strange things…Ann and I were walking the dogs in the woods near the house.  We do this quite often to clear our minds, bitch and whine and shrink our asses.   Today I decided to bring all 3 small dogs and Ann brought Duke.  While walking a white truck roars up beside us and the creepy looking dude asked me if I wanted another dog.  No thanks I replied.  What I wanted to say was Dude can you not see I already have 3 dogs that I am walking??  That or no thanks I don’t want your free candy either.  I am not stupid enough to hitch a ride with you. Made me wish I brought the Mace with me.  What is the world coming to these days.

Those of you that are nurses or heck work in public at some point and time have ran into a pervert.  You know the one that always make some sick comment while your trying to do your job.  Last month I had a old man asked me to marry him.  Then another nurse asked me to please take the meds to bed 1a because he was grossly hitting on her.  Not that I pay much mind to that.  So I said sure not a problem.  Of course this guy is half drunk and he proceeds to tell me how hot I am and I bluntly change the subject to if he is allergic to this or that.  Which I get a no.  Then he proceeds to say if I smile at him much more he is going to just melt…ugh. He tries to get even more perverted when I cut him off and explained that I don’t believe my hubby would appreciate that especially since he is a pretty big man who gets jealous easily…**lie.  So sue me I embellished a little.  But he shut the heck up.  But the icing that takes the cake is the pervery old man that was drunk and I had to cath him.  Oh baby rub it hard when you clean it…ugh really? Gross…what I wanted to say was um I can hold it with 2 whole finger don’t think it will do much for me.  Instead I just stuck the catheter in and he shut up.  Glad he wasn’t into pain.  Cause if he would have said I like it rough I would have vomited on him.
*lets not forget the perverts in the nursing home who try to pull u into bed or grab your boobs either..sheesh.
So guys tell me ur perverts that you have ran into?  and how do you handle it?

Crazy, Rodeo Patients

So I got called upstairs to CCU because security (Rent a cop) couldn’t help the nurses control a patient that was waking up from a drug overdose. He ripped his tube out and was trying to hit the nurses. In fact when me and my tech showed up there was 5 nurses and one security. I helped hold on leg while the tech was holding the other one. Let just say while the CCU nurse was trying to strap down the legs the tech and I went for a ride in the air. He thru our heavy butts just about into the floor. I felt like I was riding a bucking bronco. Finally the Nurse supervisor got an order for a medicine to help calm the patient. What a freaking 1mg of Ativan? Really…like that would do anything. But after the patient attempted to bite the nurse who should have known better about her arm placement…the sedative calmed him enough for him to think rationally. We were able to get his restraints back on. I did notice that rent a cop was standing in the corner looking like he was going to crap his pants.

Tied down and drunk

Had the cops bring in this patient that was very drunk and very agitated. In fact he was strapped to a back board with his hands tied behind his back. He was cussing and trying to spit at everyone. (Of course all he was doing was spitting on himself because the cops had some sort of mask that prevents them from spitting. Pretty neat wish we had them for the ED. Anyway he was here due to a huge laceration to his leg. Unfortunately he was too agitated to even look at the leg let alone let the doctor repair it. So Geodon it was IM in the leg to help him calm down. Wasn’t helping that the cops were irritating him even more. Doctor said I wish they would stop. So being the mouth that I am told them if they wanted to get back before time to clock out they would have to let the patient relax. That way the medicine could take effect and the doctor can fix the leg. They were happy to oblige.
Finally the med was effective. She wanted a urine on him so she could do a drug test on him. I let my new grad do the cath but he was having difficulty. I was teasing this new grad that I was training. I told him that my shift leader might be the vein whisperer but when it came to caths I was the cath whisperer…lol So without missing a beat the cop said..so you talk to penis for a living…lol Guess so…you know what they say nurses see more penis than a hooker does…lol So he did a number to his leg. Had to have sutures internally and then staples on the outside. He went back with the cops have out of it from the Geodon. Love Geodon!

Monday, Moons & just plain Madness

 

Well Mondays in an ER are always rough.  I guess those that have a life don’t come in on the weekends to get their fix of the ER.  Mind you we actually had a lot of sick people today there were still a few drug seekers.  At any given time today we had at least 12 people waiting in the waiting room.  Most that were pissed that they couldn’t be seen for their sore throat, viruses or just plain I fell down complaint.  Nothing that really warrants coming into the EMERGENCY room.  Course those that were impatient left and then called the rescue squad to come get them.  Only to find out just because you come in by ambulance does not mean you won’t end up back out in the waiting room.  I can’t seem to get this people to understand that other ambulances are rushing in Trauma patients that were in a car accident and BLEEDING…or actually are having a heart attack.  If there is a patient with an heart attack we pretty much drop all that we are doing and help them.  So they hallway/doorway pace glaring at us while we are busily running back and forth getting the drugs we need to save a life.  Some are bold enough to state hello I have a football game or other NON-sick place to go.  Hello you came to us sorry we can’t bend to your ever living whim. If your so well to go to a football game why the eff are you here? I even had a patient come in that refused to be stuck by a needle.  Um stupid your in the ER how can I run tests to find out why your having chest pain if you don’t let us stick you?   Another came by ambulance and then decided she didn’t want to be at this hospital.  She wanted to be transferred some where else.  Why didn’t she decided that while she was on the ambulance?  You know so they could have taken her straight there. So I have no idea if it was a Monday from hell, the fact the full moon is right around the corner or just the madness of the mean…

Random crazies

Was in Wal-Mart the other day with the kids and this pregnant chick was wearing gaucho (msp) pants and a shirt way to small so it looked like a baby tee plus lovely flip flops….the funnier picture was the guy with her that was wearing a  motorcycle helmet holding her hand IN Wal-Mart…hmm maybe he was embarrassed of her?
Then while I was using the photo maker at the wonderful world of walfart a lady walked up to my oldest and said your an artist I see it in your aura.  She then decided to “predict” their bdays…which were way off and my oldest was happy to point that out to her.  I was trying to ignore her and kind of place the kids on the other side of me.  She continued tell the kids that they need to learn Russian and Japanese not Spanish because they will be ruling the world in the next 10 years.  Um can we say Cuckoo?
Then I had a patient that was having butt problems and the male doctor needed a chaperone.  You know to keep them from patients crying I think he touched me wrong.  He had to do a rectal examine.  When she pulled down her underwear this zippy baggy of weed looking stuff fell out of the crack of her butt.  She giggle and said don’t worry about what you found I was walking and had no where to put it.  The doctor was doing his best not to laugh…me?  I had to turn around because there was no way i could hide my smile…butt weed anyone?
Another patient was pissed because we wouldn’t give her a pair of doctor scrubs because she was on her period and had a dime size blood stain on her jeans.  Which by the way looked like she had rolled down a hill in them.  She was given a pad and explained that we don’t give out scrubs for that reason.  She threatened to sue.  So if I am not on here anymore she won the case.

Moon Crazies patients

(pic took w/ my camera attached to my dads telescope)
Have you ever experienced Moon Crazies behaviors associated with the Full moon?
I work in a Long Term Care Facility and I HATE full moons because for next few days it seems like all of the patients I care for are louder, more prone to disruptive behavior, more unwilling to cooperate, and would revert to behaviors they usually don’t do like (biting, nudity, screaming fits, destroying property, refusing medication, etc).
I've Bet my readers out there that are in other professions have experience some type of Luna craziness, i.e. (cops, ER workers, EMTs, funeral directors, coroners, mental hospitals workers). Have you noticed?....Are you a believer of this phenomenon? Tell me what do you think? Share stories…or just tell me you think its all in our heads. That we expect the worse so the worse happens?

I know that my pts refused to take their medicine today, were trying to climb out of their beds without assistance, crying more, moaning more, yelling more, and I swear at one point today all my call lights were on down the hallway. Not to mention I must of had to call the doctor at least 4 times today to get some type of new meds…ugh Even fully staffed today and I feel like I ran a marathon today…darn full moon…give it a rest already