Shoulder Blues

SO …I thought the shoulder was doing great.  No tens unit at work for almost 2 weeks.  A whole week of no pain meds including muscle relaxers…and bam couple days ago it reminded me it was still there.  Nothing is worse than a muscle spasm.  If I had to explain it I would say it’s similar to a Charlie horse that you get in you calf.  Only I can’t reach it to rub the stupid pain out and it’s worse when I try to use my right arm or hand.  Fun right.  I know that my physical therapist thinks that I might have to switch from an ER nurse to a desk nurse.  But I didn’t lift anyone or thing.  It was just over use of my (R) arm.  So what the hell am I suppose to do (L) handed?  I guess I could work in construction and turn the stop/slow sign…frustrating.  I couldn’t continue on in the army because of hurting my knee and now I can’t do nursing.  What the fuck people.  I know people who sit on their ass and could work…but don’t and I want to work and can’t .  This is so frustrating.  Don’t ya just love the roller coaster of life.  I want off for awhile please.

Therapy

So I have been going to therapy for almost a month now.  I have been to therapy before back when I had my surgery.  What I wasn’t expecting this time was not advancing like I did after my surgery.  It’s sad to say that I almost wished I needed surgery.  I was healing much faster then than I am now.  I am almost at a stand still.  You would think that nerve damage would be harder to come back from than muscle damage.  But apparently that’s not true.  I have had the epidural block and yes it did help the numbness.  But it hasn’t help the muscle spasms in the (R) shoulder.  I went back to my original doctor and he switched my muscle relaxer and extended my physical therapy.  Since my neurosurgeon wouldn’t listen to me.  However…
My neurosurgeon finally sent me to a neurologist that specializes in trigger therapy.  I had 5 shots of xylocaine shot into my should in trigger areas.  Burned like the devil but I guess if you hurt bad enough you will try anything to get better. It took a few days but I could tell the difference some.  I have noticed that some of the pain is coming back.  I am hoping that it subsides before it consumes me again.  Because the therapist still thinks that I will have to switch what I do for a living.  Which really depresses me.  I was home for a little over a month, used all my sick time, all my vacation time and now what?  It’s not like I have money or time shooting out my butt to change my way of life.  Plus we decided to move forward on getting the house.  Why?  Because this tin can is falling apart and if we wait much more we will have to sink more money into this sinking ship of a home.  UGH!!  Frustrating.

Life goes on...

I have been so busy lately trying to get back on my feet that I have seem to have neglected everyone on the net.  Not just blogger.  Even Facebook, MSN and twitter. It's amazing just how fast life goes on.  I am so far behind on everyone's blog and I apologize.   I find myself less and less on the net due to work, family, physical therapy and trying to find a new place to live.  Pretty much all I do now is update my Facebook status.  I have even been forgetting to wish people happy birthday on Facebook.  Which is kinda sad.  Of course it doesn't help that I rarely use my computer anymore now that I have my iPad.  I check out the news feed, leave comments and leave status updates and go on with life.  Quick and Easy.  Unfortunately the iPad is a little more limiting that my computer.  It lacks the birthday warnings that are on the right hand side like my computer.  lol... 

  I spend most of my days off now in physical therapy so I can try to keep my job.  It kind of takes up most of my time.  The other part of my days off seem to be revolved around millions of errands.  I would help if I wasn't the only one in my family doing these errands.  People probably think I have fallen off the edge of a cliff or something.  I am still here and hope to catch up on some blog reading.

Another guilty pleasure I have is reading.  Alot of my authors I read have published some new books and I seem to be caught up in them right now.  That and I have discovered some new authors that have kept my attention.  I love my iPad for the ability to read in the dark when the man is sleeping.  But I still use my nook everywhere else.  It seems to be easier to read now that I have an e- reader.  I have even notice that my youngest is reading much more now that she has one too.  Too bad I can't say that about my oldest who is wrapped up in Facebook and her new boyfriend.  That is a whole blog in itself. Hoping to get back to blogging soon.  I will update everyone on the therapy process shortly.  Hope everyone is doing well.

Prayers answered

I want to thank everyone for the prayers They worked!!
So here is the update. NO SURGERY!!!!! I have a bulging disc below my current plate and screws with a major muscle strain. Treatment is an epidural block procedure and one month of physical therapy and traction. The traction should help slide the disc back in. He said he was impressed with my MRI. Especially since I had previous surgical procedure. He said that this was normal for people with surgery in this area. He is allowing me to go back to work in 2 weeks. He wanted me to have some physical therapy and epidural block done before returning. Will continue to treat with muscle relaxers and mild pain meds. I am so happy to be going back to work. I have missed everyone. So this also means we should be able to move forward on getting the house since I know I will still have a job!
I am very excited that this wasn't worse. I am to continue being careful not to damage the area though.
Thank you everyone that has wished me well, prayers and for those that have called to check on me while I have been out of work. It's nice to know I have great friends who care.

Had epidural block. Which was not comfortable at all. Still very sore. Said it might be a little while before I feel the full effect. Right now taking it easy and doing physical therapy. 5days till back to work.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Depression it’s what’s for Dinner

This neck issue is extremely depressing.  So I am going to update/whine/ and a little bit of ranting.   So you have been warned.
So I was told by the doctor ,my work chose for me ,that I was denied my workman comp claim.  The lady from workman’s comp would call me and tell me why and she would charge my current insurance for all the crap my work decided was what we had to do first.  When my doctor would have sent me to my myelogram weeks ago.  So I waited for this dumbass woman to call. No call.  I spent most of the remainder of the day crying.  I was suppose to be getting my new house.  Now I am not working.  Running quickly out of sick time.  I did call and boo hoo to my boss.  Who told me I will have a job no matter what.  That great except that’s not going to help with the new house I was suppose to get.  I have the funds to make it a few months with no job.  That will eat all my savings for my new house.  My man who never really wanted the damn house keeps saying well maybe it’s for the better.  WHAT PART OF I HATE THIS FUCKING TIN CAN do you not understand?  He is actually trying this time to console me I know but I want to choke him at the same time.  This man who won’t move from this god forsaken redneck hell hill.  I could make twice the money I make now and work less.  I wouldn’t have this neck issue.  I wouldn’t be working mandatory overtime.  No wonder I hurt. Too many hours  and lack of staff.  That’s a whole other rant.
So I called her the next day 6 times and she finally answered the damn phone.
Well even though I was injured at work, on the clock, helping a patient my company can’t seem to pin point when I was injured.  So I was denied.  Meaning I got screwed.  I assume it has to do with the fact I have a previous workman’s comp.  What the effing difference does it make?  It happened at work!  It took a week for the dumb lady at the insurance claim to tell me this.  Especially after leaving messages everyday!  So she help eat up my vacation time.  So fine I will let me insurance pay for it.  So now I am waiting on said dumbass to send my denied letter to my neurologist office.  Which she said she has already sent.  I called and left a message on the secretaries answering machine.  YESTERDAY.  Still no call back or no idea what the hell I am waiting on.  Yea I am not a happy camper at all.  I called again today.  Redirected to that effin answering machine.  I didn’t leave anymore messages.  I called back the doctor’s office and asked to see if she had any luck since no one is returning my calls and this doctor’s office is the only one that believes in answering the phone.

DID I MENTION I AM STILL WAITING ON GETTING SCHEDULED FOR THIS MYELOGRAM???? 
 
So I wait.  I am not a very patient person.  These people who don’t do their jobs and follow up with messages.  All I want to know is what the hell am I waiting for.  It will take at least a week to get this effing thing scheduled and a few days to follow up with it.  Worse case scenario I am looking at yet another surgery.  Which will be a month to schedule, 6weeks to heal and 4 weeks therapy.  I hate people. 
I swear if my husband ask me if my shoulder/neck is better I am going to make his throat hurt from choking him.  No it still there.  Yes I have good days.  Today I am having a bad day.  No I didn’t do anything I wasn’t suppose to.  It’s fucked up and until they fix it there is no being normal again.  Not that I was ever normal.  Just abled bodied.
So there is my rant.  It took me a few days to type this.  I was pretty depressed and down and out.  Hard to type when all you want to do is cry.  Now I am in the angry, furious, might choke you if you look at me wrong stage.  Not sure what’s the next stage is….

Neck update

So I woke up on Monday in a whole lot of pain.  Tried to get in with the doctor.  No such luck so I had to call in.  I went on Tuesday only to get bad news.  Apparently my ability to turn my head and raise my arms has gotten worse.  She asked me had I been doing my light duty.  Pfft light duty.  I told her I was an ER nurse there is no light duty especially on night shift where we have less staff.  Yes I haven’t been lifting, pushing or pulling more than 20 lbs.  I have been on mandatory overtime.  Which means I work 36 hours and 50 the other week.  All of the stuff I need to do my job is above my head and it’s impossible for me to get other nurses to help me there.   I mean my crew is awesome and help me in a pinch.  But with us already running around with our head cut off I can get them to help me get a freaking gown down.  Really?  I already feel useless as it is. So the Doctor was worried that I might makes things worse under the stress of the job, the extra hours and the fact I work night shift.  Which makes it hard to stay on my meds.  Most of which make me drowsy well at least the muscle relaxer do.  I request no narcotics.  I was using toradol which is a miracle drug.  Only problem my stomach hates it.  So muscle relaxers and NSAIDS to help.  Since the new med Mobic isn’t working she put me on Ultram.  Another great med.  But it also causes drowsiness.  So it’s good for that reason that I was put out of work.  Means I can get some much needed relief.  I just hope my coworker don’t get upset with me because I not working.  I already feel like a slacker as it is.  I don’t think some realize just how much pain I was in.  I tried to stay cheery and myself only to find myself in the bathroom in tears because I was hurting so bad.  I truly did try to  hang on as long as I could.  I know I am a grown adult and should careless what people think.  But when it comes to my job I want to get along with everyone.  Makes it easier to love you job.  If you cause to much of a stir and cause drama makes you hate your job even more.  So I am stuck home for 2 weeks…I hate that since I am such a social person.  But the good thing is I have time to blog and catch up on blogs.  Not to mention visit my favorite forum JUN.  Bad thing is no gym, no work, no lifting anything greater than 5 lbs. ( my little dog is not happy) and no contact with my friends…cause most of those people I work with…

Medical updates

So I need to update everyone on the two tests.  First my tata’s squeeze test came back fine.  No malignant finding aka no cancer.  They are not sure what the lumps are but its not showing up on the ultra sound or mammograms …So he just wants me to follow up before the year is up if it becomes larger or more tender.  If that happens then he wants me to see a surgeon specialist to figure out what it is.  So a big SHEEWW is in order.  As for the redneck man’s stress test it came back with good news also.  Passed with flying colors…he did call me all stressed out about the IV and possible nuclear dye they might instill…lol  I think he was afraid of being radio active…I should have asked him if he thought he might turn into Spiderman.  He turn the the “radio” active dye down and just did the regular stress test which is really all he needed anyway. I do like the fact that the doctor made him realize that he was an alcoholic and he has cut back some.   He went from 6- 8oz cans to 2- 18 oz bottles which equals 12 oz less that what he was drinking.  I guess 2 is better than 6? Whatever.  But he did improve on his day’s off from 12 cans to 6.  That’s half.  He is a lot less grouchy.  He also has to relearn how to sleep because the doctor thinks his numbness can be due to him sleeping with his arms behind his head.  He mentioned to me he didn’t know what was harder cutting back on the beer or trying to relearn how to sleep.  So that’s the medical update.