My dogs

This is pretty much how my labs act.  I love this pic.  Of course my screen door is no more.  They usually just burst right through....lol

Damaged dog

I think my schnauzer is damaged…as in broke…as in not normal and possibly part redneck. So anytime my man walks into the house he growls at him.  Like he is some new stranger.  Maybe he senses something?  lol Okay that was mean.  Most of the time he does this is when he has a big hat on.  Like his cowboy hat or his hat that a had a wide brim.  I don’t know if that’s it.  He has never been hit with a hat.  So I have no idea what he is thinking.  To make matters worse this dog has a defense mechanism.  If you scare him he farts.  I mean so bad you would think he actually crap somewhere.  What the heck?   The kids find this funny and try to come up with ways to scare the dog to make him fart.  Its great…don’t piss me off dear or I will scare the dog and make him fart.  It stinks bad enough most times to make your eyes water.  Yea I know you really need to know that the family that I live with thinks it’s a great game to see who can make the dog fart first.  Is it sadder that I join in the game?

Random dog crazies

1. My little black dog is still eating trash.   She ran out of my daughters bathroom with her maxi pad in her mouth….ewwwww.  Gross dog what the hell is wrong with you.
   
2. My new schnauzer is strange.  Barks at absolutely nothing.  In fact while the other dogs are barking at the neighbors.  He will be facing the opposite way barking into the wind.  Dumb dog
   
3. My black lab cleans his behind so much he look like he bleaches his anus.  Bright white..and a black dog.  You can see his butt hole a mile away.  You needed to know this.  OCD dog
   
4. My chocolate lab is the laziness dog of them all.  In fact if you get up and head to the bedroom she thinks its bedtime and will go to bed.  Even if we just woke up 10 mins ago.
   
5. My New schnauzer can reach his butt.  Or can’t figure it out.  Unlike the blk lab who can.  In fact he is the only dog that can figure a way to crap and get his poop stuck in his fur.  Or dribble it down his leg.  On that note.  We actually have a poop duty station.  A box of wipes at the back door where the person who lets him back in inspects his butt region for any remnants of unwantables left behind on his behind.
   
6. My Little schnauzer sleeps completely upside down making him look like a rag mop because of his long hair…see below
   
7. My white boxer knows when I have vacuumed even if she wasn’t in the house when I did.  Because the first thing she does is rolls around on the floor to replace the vacuumed hair or rubs herself on my brown couch to prove to everyone she was here.
   
8. My little schnauzer is afraid of the floors in Petsmart.  So much it makes me wonder what he actually sees.  Because where the floor is too shiny in spots he stops and acts like the floor drops off into a endless black pit.  I have to pick him up and carry him over the area.  Then he is back to walking like nothing ever happened.  Weird.
   
9.   apparently the white boxer is jealous that she wasn’t invited to the picture.
   
10. And last but not least…the little schnauzer loves to lounge in the car…and huff and puff after a hard day at obedience class.  Even though I am pretty sure I worked harder than he did.

Random dog crazies

1. My little black dog is still eating trash.   She ran out of my daughters bathroom with her maxi pad in her mouth….ewwwww.  Gross dog what the hell is wrong with you.
   
2. My new schnauzer is strange.  Barks at absolutely nothing.  In fact while the other dogs are barking at the neighbors.  He will be facing the opposite way barking into the wind.  Dumb dog
   
3. My black lab cleans his behind so much he look like he bleaches his anus.  Bright white..and a black dog.  You can see his butt hole a mile away.  You needed to know this.  OCD dog
   
4. My chocolate lab is the laziness dog of them all.  In fact if you get up and head to the bedroom she thinks its bedtime and will go to bed.  Even if we just woke up 10 mins ago.
   
5. My New schnauzer can reach his butt.  Or can’t figure it out.  Unlike the blk lab who can.  In fact he is the only dog that can figure a way to crap and get his poop stuck in his fur.  Or dribble it down his leg.  On that note.  We actually have a poop duty station.  A box of wipes at the back door where the person who lets him back in inspects his butt region for any remnants of unwantables left behind on his behind.
   
6. My Little schnauzer sleeps completely upside down making him look like a rag mop because of his long hair…see below
   
7. My white boxer knows when I have vacuumed even if she wasn’t in the house when I did.  Because the first thing she does is rolls around on the floor to replace the vacuumed hair or rubs herself on my brown couch to prove to everyone she was here.
   
8. My little schnauzer is afraid of the floors in Petsmart.  So much it makes me wonder what he actually sees.  Because where the floor is too shiny in spots he stops and acts like the floor drops off into a endless black pit.  I have to pick him up and carry him over the area.  Then he is back to walking like nothing ever happened.  Weird.
   
9.   apparently the white boxer is jealous that she wasn’t invited to the picture.
   
10. And last but not least…the little schnauzer loves to lounge in the car…and huff and puff after a hard day at obedience class.  Even though I am pretty sure I worked harder than he did.

Shot of Reality: Drugs, Dogs and Docs

I just love it when your a new nurse and a doctor gets to fuss at you cause you can’t do stuff fast enough.  Some of the nurses I work with baby the doctors by putting in their orders and setting up their sterile field.  That’s great if your fast at your job and have all the time in the world. I got fussed at by doctor cause I didn’t get blood fast enough from a pt.  She already came in with a line.  I was trying to get her nitro in her because she was having major chest pains.  I tried to stick her twice and I don’t stick more than twice.  I couldn’t get someone to help me stick her at that moment, so I worked on her meds and some other items. I can’t help it that I couldn’t get a line in her.  Plus saying well just try to stick a line in her.   Hello what the hell does” I have stuck her twice” don’t you understand? Duh
Hot dag! Finally a doctor stood up to a drug user.  The doctor ordered a dose of Toradol, not a narcotic for those nonmed people.  The patient threw a fit and said I can’t take that it gives me a headache all I can take is dilaudid (narcotic).  So I told the doctor.  Instead of getting her toradol she ended up with a 800mg Motrin…you should have seen her face it was priceless.  Then she started saying that the doctor never looked at her leg and her back hurt and she felt like she was going to throw up.  She said the doctor was a quack and she wanted another one.  So I told the doctor and she went in and said what is wrong with her leg.  And she points to this knot in her leg and a big purple and yellow and green bruise.  You never looked at my leg and I am in so much pain.  Ma’am your records show you were here 3 days ago for you leg.  That is an old bruise and you can plainly see that by the color that it is. Well your a quack she told the doctor.  The doc just told her that they will no longer be treating her long term pain problem.  That she must go see her general practitioner.  Well the doctor left and I was discharging her and she said she wanted to see some other dr.  So since I didn’t know what to do I talked to another nurse.  She told me to tell her she would have to check in again and there was a good chance she would end up with the same dr.  She told me she refuse to leave…I had to get security to escort her out…sheesh
Next I had a inmate that was being treated for a dog bite…apparently he wouldn’t listen to the guard was sprayed with pepper spray still wouldn’t stop and they had to sick the dog on him…what is with people…
One of the first things you learn as a nurse is never assume your patients know what they are doing or understand instructions.  Like make sure you tell a patient to take the pills by mouth or by ass…depending on what it is.  What I didn’t know was I had to tell them how to put on a hospital gown.  Ask the patient to slip into a gown.  I come in and she is fully clothed with the gown over the clothes…umm duh.