Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Book Review: May


By Stephen King
Now mind you I have loved Stephen Kings Original works.  Not His Bachman era but his Carrie, the Shining type of work.  But when I heard that he just wrote a book about zombie like people.  Hell yea that’s right up my alley.  In this book Mr. King doesn’t disappoint.   His tendency to over describe scenes is perfect in this type of novel.  Imagine talking on the phone to your mom and suddenly the  “pulse” occurs and you’re an angry yelling maniac trying to kill everyone in your path.  This was a great read.  A little slow in the beginning but it picks up to the point you have to stay up till 330am to finish the book.  If you like a apocalyptic or zombie books run out and get out a copy.  I give this book
  blood-drop blood-dropblood-dropblood-dropfor a great read and zombie book.
Back of the book:
“When the Nazis invaded Hungary in 1944, they sent virtually the entire Jewish population to Auschwitz. A Jew and a medical doctor, the prisoner Dr. Miklos Nyiszli was spared death for a grimmer fate: to perform "scientific research" on his fellow inmates under the supervision of the man who became known as the infamous "Angel of Death" - Dr. Josef Mengele. Nyiszli was named Mengele's personal research pathologist. In that capacity he also served as physician to the Sonderkommando, the Jewish prisoners who worked exclusively in the crematoriums and were routinely executed after four months. Miraculously, Nyiszli survived to give this horrifying and sobering account.”
Dr. Mengele one of the infamous Doctors during the holocaust. Know for his horrid experiments done on prisoners of Auschwitz.  This book is about the Jewish Doctor who had to assist Dr. Mengele in his “scientific research”  even though he knew he was a criminal doctor. It was amazing just horrid this camp was and just how easily this man could have been killed in camp.  The monstrosities he had to endure to come out “alive”.  If you read holocaust memoir then this is one to add to your reading collection.
Feel free to tell me what your reading…and you score.  I love hearing about great books to read.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Vacation, Laziness, HMMM donuts

Yes so I am suppose to be on this great diet.  You know so I can wear this stupid bikini my hubby wants me to wear.  Now mind you I could be 200lbs over weight and he would still want me in a bikini.  Men…
So Like I said on my last post about being on vacation…when your on vacation your diet goes out the window.  Which is not good considering this isn’t my big vacation…the beach one where you really don’t want to be fat.  I have done no exercising and my diet HA!  here is a pic…
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Yea see one is even missing in the pic.  I have ate 4 of these little bastards…the evil devil made me do it.
 donuts-213x300  I would call the crack but starbucks already takes the cake on that one.
So here it is 2 days till my vacation is up and I can about guarantee when I go back to work to weigh on the scales I will have gained 10 lbs.  So I have 3 weeks to get some of this chub off me.  Ugh.  Hmm maybe I could become bulimic.  You know so I can eat and hmm taste the donut goodness…but it won’t turn into fat.  Too bad I like the enamel on my teeth and the lining of my esophagus…plus not a big fan of puke.
Ah to be the size of a twig and be able to eat what I want when I want.

Ps when dieting why is it your big boobs go first? I would be happy to keep the ass and boobs..just lose the gut…sheesh

oh and btw I was looking for a pic for diet boobs..don’t ever key that in google..lol you find things like this…

Don’t do it…there are worse ones.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

MS and Disability Bullpoopie

Watching my dad lose his job because he cannot cognitively do it any more is depressing.  He has lost his ability to ride his motorcycle.  There are days he cannot stand for long periods or even walk without a limp.  Yet when he goes to the doctors they tell him he is not disabled enough.  He cannot work in hot temperature or he passes out, cold temperature or his legs don’t work. But the icing that took the cake?  When he went to the doctors to take the cognitive test.  They told him that they would not trust him with money or multitasking.  Which still means he is still not that bad off yet.  Excuse me…what effin job doesn’t require multitasking?  I am pretty sure even McDonald requires that.  But what infuriates me more is watching my tax dollars hard at work in the ER.  The countless people who come into the ER for stupid crap.  Like coughs and colds that they have had for a month.  Cysts that have been there for a year.  Then you have the “suicide” people who just want some attention.  Not all but some.  But what makes me want to choke the healthcare more is that they don’t want to burden the country with too many people on disability.  HUH?  You mean don’t give disability to the man who has work almost 50 years of his life, fought for this country and doesn’t want disability for the check.  Just the ability to be classified as disabled to be able to get help from the disability rehab people. So he can be pair with a job he can do. When he tells a jobs he applies for he has Multiple Sclerosis he doesn’t get hired because he is a liability.  So he needs disability to survive and get a job he can do.  He has put his dues (taxes) in so where is his help? But Obama and this wonderful government  won’t give him help but will give disability to a person who has never worked a day in their life just because they can’t deal with life?  WTF.  Hey jackass…why don’t you cut back on the assholes we scan 15 times in 3 months.  Because nothing is wrong they just want to be shot up full of free narcotics paid for by todays tax payers.  Thanks for the wonderful healthcare!
MS is a disability

Monday, May 23, 2011

Motorcycle Adventures: ouch

So I am finally on vacation hence all the new blog posts.  I spent my first 2 days on a motorcycle ride with the old man.  Here are some cool pics of my rides.  We did 180 miles one day and 160 the other.
It’s amazing just how beautiful the world is when you take time to enjoy it.
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Start of my ride.
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blue ridge parkway
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Boone, NC
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Mast General store Since 1883
here their site: Mast General Store
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I love old barns
Burkes Gardens
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My other love.  Old general stores.  Especial original ones.  Of course the penny candy is gone..but most will have soda is bottles.  Nothing like swinging on the porch swing with a cold Dr Pepper and candy bar. YUM

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Ice Cream Break- big walker mountain


So that was my ride.  Oh Yea here is my battle scars from the bike ride.  I was stung by a bee about 5 times before I could beat it to death riding 55mile an hour…lovely right?

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Bullies and Bullshit part 1

So if I haven’t mentioned it before the school system isn’t great here in redneck land.  I am constantly putting up with my kids getting bullied.  My oldest was shoved up against a black board.  My youngest slammed up against a brick wall.  Which I had 2 x-rays done because the bruising and swelling was so bad.   The kid got one day of in school suspension because apparently the other parent threw a fit.  The parent even sat down and the kids lunch table to bad mouth my kid.  By stating she was faking it.  How the hell do you fake blue and purple marks?  Let alone the swollen hand. The school counselor is wanting the children to be friends.  I am sorry I do not agree with her methods.  Yes they should be courteous with each other.  But this girl even calls the house to harass her.
I have asked the teachers every year to keep me updated on my oldest progress and let me know if we are starting to have grade issues.  I never hear anything until the report card comes out.  By then its to late.  I have asked please let me know what she is having issues with.  For example I see the D on her report card in math but have no idea what part she is having trouble with.  How am I suppose to help her with her problem areas with out some direction from the teacher?  Where are the teachers?  If they report any problems they are considered tattling.  Where is the no bully policy? 
Even band is an issue.  We paid for my daughter band shirt and never received the size we paid for.  She is like a 7 in little girls and they gave her a 3XL.  The band director never has the band concerts information available for me until 2 weeks till or less.  They receive their music later than other band students who are from the bigger school they merge with. Also never informed of items needed for in school concerts. I put my daughter in band to learn an instrument and she should get the same amount of attention as those from the main school.  I cannot be at the school to help my oldest.  I leave the education of my children to the teachers but unfortunately the teachers there don’t take their job seriously.  The have my telephone number, address and email yet I am never updated on my eldest progress.  I am trying to switch them to another school that participates in the homework online program where I can access and see what homework they have and their grades.  Also I am not impressed with Mr. P and his retake the test method.  If the children all are all failing the test then the teacher is not teaching it the first time.  Teaching the kids that they can just retake will not help them in future education institutions.  He also speaks inappropriate and unprofessional to the students. For example:  why by the whole cow when the milk is free.
Not to mention allowing them to get extra lunches when I specifically told them not to because they pack their lunch.  I am still paying off a 200 dollar bill.  Which they waiting months to inform me of.  I have talked to the principle and teachers over the last 4 years and nothing is improving.  This year was the last straw and both my children have asked me to see if I can get them transfer. .especially after my oldest art sketch pad was damaged from an older girl putting mustaches on pictures and writing you’re a dike on it.  What’s worse?  The stupid kid admitted to it.  The teacher just ignore it.  Told her just to ignore it. GRRRR
I really would like to choke the parents of these hoodlums.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Prepare for the Rapture: you might be dead

10. Every Time You Speak it Comes Out as a Moan – One of the classic symptoms of zombification is the loss of coherent speech. Go all the way back to Frankenstein's Monster. The vocal chords are delicate and can be among the first things to go. Try saying this phrase: The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain. Everything come out okay? Good. If not, you are either a zombie or Eliza Doolittle.

Other Possible Explanation: You are currently engaged in sexual intercourse.

9. People Remark that You Smell Like Roadkill- First of all, if anyone has ever said this within earshot of you...damn. Secondly, I hate to tell you that this is another symptom. You see, dead things smell bad. That's just the way it is. Autolysis and putrefaction lead to the release of gases which are the main cause of that sickly sweet odor of death. Chances are good that you are in fact a reanimated corpse.

Other Possible Explanation: You have poor hygiene. Treatment: Bathe.

8. Passersby Complement You on Your Sexy Shamble- It is a well-known fact (at least to Romero fans) that zombies have limited mobility. There is no blood flow to the muscles, what would you expect? Not to mention the fact that tendons and other soft tissues will be rotting away. Running zombies may be scarier to some but come on, does it really make sense? Let's be rational here. Hehe. If your walk can be categorized as a lurch or a stumble you could be in real trouble.

Other Possible Explanation: You are drunk.

7. You Have an Uncontrollable Urge to Go to the Mall- I don't know what it is about the mall, but it happens all the time. Is our need for consumerism so prevalent that it reaches beyond the limitations of death? Look at Dawn of the Dead (both versions) and even the video game Dead Rising. Apparently it is just an inevitability. Do you often feel yourself being pulled by the sway of Macy's or Hot Topic? Sounds like zombie time to me.

Other Possible Explanation: You are a teenager or just have nothing better to do.

6. Hunger is Your Only Motivation- Sure we all have the drive to eat in order to sustain our own lives. But if your hunger is all-consuming, if it just won't go away no matter what you eat, if you find yourself walking miles to track down something that smells yummy...you may be a goner. Once you have been infected, nothing else will matter. Your need to feed will prey on your mind like you will prey on your neighbors and you will never be sated.

Other Possible Explanation: You are stoned. (Note: This could also be the underlying cause for many of the signs. Do you also have the urge to watch cartoons and laugh at nothing? If so, you are fine)

5. Your Friends Keep Trying to Bean You on the Head- We all know the most effective way to dispatch the living dead is to kill the brain. A gunshot to the head, a bat to the noggin, a tire iron to the skull...these are all good. And your friends all know this too. If you find yourself having to constantly shield your grey matter from the onslaught of weapons, you may be a zombie.

Other Possible Explanation: You have lousy friends.

4. Your Rate of Decomposition Has Severely Increased- We know that the body begins its slow decline as soon as we are born. The flesh is only designed to sustain life for so long. This is why we age and why we begin to fall apart (metaphorically) as we grow older. But if you are literally falling apart, this could be cause for concern. In the case of reanimation, there should also be the characteristic smell we discussed earlier. If you present with both of these symptoms, you are probably among the population of the undead.

Other Possible Explanation: You have leprosy which is generally characterized by skin lesions. Leprosy will not cause your limbs to fall off so if you start dropping body parts on the carpet, you should seek the attention of your local mortician.

3. You Were Pronounced Dead and People Ran Screaming When You Got Up- It is not uncommon, even in today's advanced society, for people to occasionally lose signs of life. Chances are good you could be revived by a team of medical experts or someone on hand to administer the likes of CPR. The usual response is gleeful gratitude expressed by those around you. But if you die and your awakening prompts a negative response, mainly one of fear or repulsion, then you have likely been zombified. If this is the case, I would be on the lookout for number 5 above. That is often the next logical reaction.

Other Possible Explanations: You are rich and your family was waiting for you to kick the bucket or you just aren't very well liked.

2. You Crave Human Flesh- Probably the number one symptom of zombiehood is the need to feed on the flesh of the living. There are various explanations of this phenomena depending upon which canon you follow. Some believe it lessens the pain of being dead. But no matter what you believe, you cannot deny that if this urge suddenly forms, the odds of you being a revenant are highly likely. I recommend you distance yourself from the public as quickly as possible. Most people are not fond of being gnawed on at random.

Other Possible Explanation: You are simply a cannibal. In either case, keep away from me.

1. You Have Been Bitten by a Zombie- This one is undeniable and there is little recourse unless you happen to boast a natural immunity but I wouldn't count on this being the case. If you have in fact been chewed by a member of the living dead, you can go ahead and plan your cremation. The typical funeral will only prolong the effects and cause you discomfort as you attempt to climb out of your grave. You will also probably attack those you love and that is not a pleasant thought for anyone.

Other Possible Explanation: I got nothing. You are screwed, my friend

Really? Duh Huh

So I really wanted to run around spreading clothing around to mess with the neighbors on the day of the rapture.  Course my friends thought I was sick.  Well those that didn't ask me where and when to meet.  LOL  A friend posted this on FB and i had to steal it and share it with my blogger followers. So where is this prophet now?  I would like to know what happened.  One of my other friends states that he postponed the date till October.  Wow didn't know you could guess.  Maybe he should work as a weather man.  Today 40% chance of Rapture today.  30 % tomorrow...sheesh

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Shot of Reality: School, Salons and Severe pain

Dear School of Today,
Instead of thinking of banning packed lunches because they are unhealthy maybe start by actually making kids walk home from a bus stop. Not drop kids off every 8 feet.
Sincerely, who is causing childhood obesity? you are.
P.S when is pizza, corn and French fries all in one meal considered healthy?

Dear Beauty Salon,
You might get more business if you don’t let an answering machine answer your phone. I understand your with clients but ever heard of a receptionist?
Sincerely, pissed off patron who got a return call 2 hours later.

Dear other hair salon,
I really don’t want to listen to you bitch and complain to your husband on the phone. Your place of business is not the time to chew him out. Then telling me all about it. I really don’t give a ferrets anus. I have my own a-hole at home. I came here to relax and get away from him.

Dear lady at the salon,
Charging 35 dollars for a foot spa machine you got at Wal-Mart doesn’t really make me want to come back. They are 30 bucks. I could do my own if I wanted that quality. If your “normal” spa is broke then you should discount your customers. Also when you give a “spa” pedicure it should last longer than a “regular” pedicure.
Sincerely, never coming back again

Dear man,
You are an ass and not worth this letter
Sincerely, saving my words for something better

Dear inventor of waxing,
you must have been a man…YEE..OUCH!
Sincerely, I now have bright red eyebrows