Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Shot of Reality: Gross

Dear Business Man at the local Bookstore,
I know you think no one is looking at you in your fancy suit, expensive computer while you chat "important" business on you cell. But when you dig your nose like a 4 yr old and roll it around on your fingers it kinda makes you look bad.   I really thought about getting up and handing you a tissue from my purse.  Especially since I was decked out in my nursing scrubs and then lecture you about hand hygiene and the spread of germs.  Like I said was until you wiped it on the comfy chair you were sitting in.  EWWW that made me gag
Yes I saw and ducking behind your computer won't make me forget that

Beep Beep Moron

Okay So I have loved my job and I have been here for over 3 months now and its getting easier to know who to ask help from and who not to. Which are hard works and which makes you wonder wtf your a nurse? Okay so we have these nice but annoying monitors in each room. When their vital signs get out of wack an annoying beep beep goes off. Which causes one to put the shut the hell up button since everything seems to make it beep. But if an emergency vital sign shows up the beeping is louder and more intense. So here is the nursing supervisor pushing the shut the hell up button on one that is blinking RED and Screaming a emergency BEEP BEEP. So I ask have you check on the patient??? Um no she replies..(still sitting there)…has anyone else? No i don’t think so…(still sitting there) So I jump up to check on this patient (not mine) Patient not responding, I tried to get a pulse having a hard time, machine screaming pulse of 180, v-tach…so I stick my head out and yell hey i need help in here. No one…i see the doctor…that just come out of the room just in time. He says…um is that 7? He’s fine but did you take the pulse manually? Yea course in my excitement fear or adrenaline. I was unable…lol course I find out this patient has Parkinson and giving the machine a fit. I didn’t notice the tremors under the pile of blankets. Though I don't remember now that her hands were shaking when I checked the pulse. Hey I didn’t mean to over react. But I would rather be safe than sorry like the ass that just kept pushing the shut the hell up button. I felt like an idiot in front of the doctor..until another nurse did the same thing i did…lol o-well.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Monday, Moons & just plain Madness


Well Mondays in an ER are always rough.  I guess those that have a life don’t come in on the weekends to get their fix of the ER.  Mind you we actually had a lot of sick people today there were still a few drug seekers.  At any given time today we had at least 12 people waiting in the waiting room.  Most that were pissed that they couldn’t be seen for their sore throat, viruses or just plain I fell down complaint.  Nothing that really warrants coming into the EMERGENCY room.  Course those that were impatient left and then called the rescue squad to come get them.  Only to find out just because you come in by ambulance does not mean you won’t end up back out in the waiting room.  I can’t seem to get this people to understand that other ambulances are rushing in Trauma patients that were in a car accident and BLEEDING…or actually are having a heart attack.  If there is a patient with an heart attack we pretty much drop all that we are doing and help them.  So they hallway/doorway pace glaring at us while we are busily running back and forth getting the drugs we need to save a life.  Some are bold enough to state hello I have a football game or other NON-sick place to go.  Hello you came to us sorry we can’t bend to your ever living whim. If your so well to go to a football game why the eff are you here? I even had a patient come in that refused to be stuck by a needle.  Um stupid your in the ER how can I run tests to find out why your having chest pain if you don’t let us stick you?   Another came by ambulance and then decided she didn’t want to be at this hospital.  She wanted to be transferred some where else.  Why didn’t she decided that while she was on the ambulance?  You know so they could have taken her straight there. So I have no idea if it was a Monday from hell, the fact the full moon is right around the corner or just the madness of the mean…

Random crazies

Was in Wal-Mart the other day with the kids and this pregnant chick was wearing gaucho (msp) pants and a shirt way to small so it looked like a baby tee plus lovely flip flops….the funnier picture was the guy with her that was wearing a  motorcycle helmet holding her hand IN Wal-Mart…hmm maybe he was embarrassed of her?
Then while I was using the photo maker at the wonderful world of walfart a lady walked up to my oldest and said your an artist I see it in your aura.  She then decided to “predict” their bdays…which were way off and my oldest was happy to point that out to her.  I was trying to ignore her and kind of place the kids on the other side of me.  She continued tell the kids that they need to learn Russian and Japanese not Spanish because they will be ruling the world in the next 10 years.  Um can we say Cuckoo?
Then I had a patient that was having butt problems and the male doctor needed a chaperone.  You know to keep them from patients crying I think he touched me wrong.  He had to do a rectal examine.  When she pulled down her underwear this zippy baggy of weed looking stuff fell out of the crack of her butt.  She giggle and said don’t worry about what you found I was walking and had no where to put it.  The doctor was doing his best not to laugh…me?  I had to turn around because there was no way i could hide my smile…butt weed anyone?
Another patient was pissed because we wouldn’t give her a pair of doctor scrubs because she was on her period and had a dime size blood stain on her jeans.  Which by the way looked like she had rolled down a hill in them.  She was given a pad and explained that we don’t give out scrubs for that reason.  She threatened to sue.  So if I am not on here anymore she won the case.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

you might live in a redneck town...

you might live in a redneck town... Current mood: amused
Okay I shouldn’t be amused by others grief but this was hilarious….you might live in a redneck town if…
I was grocery shopping with the girls since school was out due to the snow that melted off the road early this morning. We were leaving and getting ready to get into the turning lane when a truck came zipping by us and this chick was standing in the parking lot. At first I thought he was dropping her off but all of a sudden she proceeded to scream and jump up and down…well I got ready to pull out into the turning lane when she came barreling down the road…screaming like a banshee, with her hands waving up and down. She didn’t even look and ran out into the highway screaming and yelling. I got into the turning lane and she was still in the middle of the road jumping up and down like a kangaroo then zipped across the remaining 2 lanes to the sidewalk…where she then preceded to lie down and kick like a 2 yr old…still screaming that blood curtailing yell. I couldn’t help but watch and chuckle…no guy is worth all that energy. Lol …I think traffic was a little backed up watching her. I think if I was her guy I wouldn’t come back either. I wouldn’t want anyone to know I was with her… ....

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Shot of reality: Old fart


Dear body,
I know that I am a year older this month but you really didn’t have to prove it to me while I was demonstrating to my youngest the difference between a cart wheel and a round off.  Apparently my wrist doesn’t appreciated the years of extra weight the decrease in muscle ability.
Sincerely, My wrists are sore and i hope they aren’t broken.
ps i promise to act more my age from now on.