Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Redneck Lawnmower

Clipart Illustration of a White Man Operating A Red Riding Lawn Mower While Landscaping
Okay so the men on this redneck hill are always on lawnmowers…most times to mow in fact they kind of mow in sync. The 4 men of the hill will mow usually the same day. Some one will start up their mower and mow and then everyone else does. Scary i told mejis you can see how our men will age first you have her man, the youngest balding with a gut, my man with bald but slightly graying beard with a gut, his uncle more graying (or dyed hair) with a very large gross gut with man boobs, their dad Dyed black hair with gray chest hair smaller gut, no ass, man boobs and last his uncle, completely grey and white hair, balding not from shaving, 6months pregnant and completely deaf. Their tempers are very close from mild, severe with beer (our men), his uncle- always severe since his is drunk all the time, his dad talks grouchy (putting up with whiney or lack of sex) and escalate to severe anger when his sons piss him off, to uncle who only gets angry because you are not using the right redneck sign language. What is that you ask? Over dramatizing with you mouth or use of hand gestures cause he is too lazy to learn sign language.
Next we have the lawnmower riders: Where mejis’s man and mine use them for transportation of themselves and their beer. Well sometimes they transport children in the lawnmower wagons. The funny thing is its spreading to the children now. I notice my nephew and the neighbor boy have their own nonblade working lawnmowers and racing up and down the road and everyone's lawn. If we have family cookouts we have the lawnmower parking area…lol How sad is that? I even have a picture of myself and my man driving me down the hill after the Easter egg hunt. I really think for mejis’s marriage that she ride down the isle on one with her flower girl and ring bearer toting in the back wagon. That would be priceless.
Last we have the I run over everything you own rider: That would be my father-in-law.
If your trying to grow something it will get mowed down, flatten by wheels or completely destroyed. He has taken down our saplings, bushes and out DISH which wasn’t cheap to repair. Hence why we got our own lawnmower. His wife will even put up little fences which get bent in the process of trying to save the little flowers. Today…he took out their telephone line…yup snap the line in two…sheesh…look out!

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