How bad do you need that cigarette?

I use to smoke and I quit.   Was it easy?  NO.  Do I still crave a cigarette?  Most days.  But because I am a nurse I see the effects of smoking long term.  I have many young people come in thinking I have plenty of time to quit.  I also have many patients that will never quit.  To me if I had a choice of breathing or cigarette…ummm breathing would always win.  How ever there are many COPD patients that will smoke and then put their oxygen back in their nose.  Most understand that they can’t smoke with their o2 in their nose.  So what did my patient do?  She put her o2 in her right hand and her cigarette in the left hand.  Take a drag of cigarette and then a drag of pure O2.  What’s the problem…she went up in flames.  Luckily someone was there to put her out.  2nd degree burns to the lips, hands and chest.  3rd degree burns to her breast and finger tips.  Singed her hair close to the scalp.  We ended up flying her to a burn center.  I am sorry but I don’t need to smoke that bad.  I would hope that would be a wake up call to QUIT SMOKING DUMBASS.  She was a sweet as could be but I really want to say…here’s your sign.

Your chief complaint is WHAT?

So I have had some weird crap that comes into the ER but this lady takes the cake and on top of it has just as crazy outcome. 

  When a patient signs in out front we can see the chief complaint that clerk puts in the computer.  Mom and son check in with abdominal pain.  Seems pretty legit.  Probably both have the stomach flu right?  Well the next step is to go into the triage area where the triage nurse gets history, vital signs and a little more story behind the chief complaint.  Here is what the complaint was.  Having abdominal pain and difficulty having a bowel movement…..then the bottom falls out of the note…sister in law is evil and putting a curse on her and thinks that the devil has caused this because of her sister in law’s curse. Next triage… the boy.  A 6 year old, who has kicked the nursing student that is following the triage nurse all because he didn’t want the pulse ox on his finger.  He is now screaming and carrying on so bad we can hear him on the other side of the ER.  So at this point we all have look at the triage note to see Mom stating that the child is “possessed by the devil due to a curse put on her and her son by her sister in law”.

 

Come on you know at this point we are all snickering.  The doctor who has now checked the computer to see what comes over and sprinkles bottle water on us “the power of Christ Compels you…bahahaha.  Which then lead all the nurse to poke fun.  Oh yea well …(NurseNightmare) has her rosary necklace on let’s send her in there to do an exorcism.  Yea I know we are some sick nurses but it keeps us sane.  Especially when the fun ends and life sneaks back in…what does comments like that mean?  Mental health call and removal of the kid by DSS.  Which sucks.   Upon talking to my patient she truly believes they were cursed and that her kid is possessed. To me that kid needs his butt spanked.  Holy Terror of hell…yea.  I think we all were waiting for his head to turn around. Anyway after all that was said and done because she wasn’t going to harm herself or anyone else she was RELEASED.  What the fuck?  What if tomorrow she decided that the only way to release the devil is drown him or she stabs him?  I am sorry I still think that she needed to be committed and for the Dad or Grandparent come get the kid.  What do you think?