Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The pain never goes away

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Dealing with chronic pain sucks.  What’s really annoying is dealing with the pain and still working.  Seeing others come in all strung out on pain medications.  I don’t want to be that person.  I have people saying go on disability.  Who wants to live on 600 dollars a month?  That wouldn’t even cover my house payment.  I missed work yesterday.  Had to have 5 injections into my shoulder muscle in hopes that the Lidocaine would help numb the pain.  Any idea just how bad that shit stings??? But hey I am still not on narcotics.  I refused to go that route.  Motrin, muscle relaxers and many different vitamins.  Along with my TENS unit and Cryoderm cream.  The muscle relaxers makes me so drowsy that usually I don’t take it unless I am going to bed.  There was no way around it yesterday.  I had to miss so I could take my meds.  It really depresses me that I disappointed my crew.  I never like missing. I truly hate when people call in because working nights no one covers for you.  The other nurses have to pick up your slack.    I do everything that the doctor instructed.  I still trying to exercise, lift weights and lose the pounds.  All the while trying to balance out what is too much or not enough.  I have my hours cut back to 40 hours a week to avoid over working my shoulder.  Only to have people “jealous” that I have to cut my hours back.    Sometimes it would be nice to have normal aches and pains.  Instead of pain that causes life to stop.  So I didn’t get to do my work out.  Because once again I had to “baby” my stupid shoulder pain.  So once again I have to start from scratch.  Every time I move up the levels on my workout sickness or injury makes me start all over again at level one.  UGH THIS SUCKS!  Okay yea I know whininess.  I shall suck it up and move on.

2 comments:

Leeanna Henderson said...

Don't worry about the whining, darlin. I've been there done that. Hell's Bells, I even have several t-shirts.

When I say I know your pain, I mean it. I hurt myself on the job back in 1986. Tore a 2 inch deep gash in my muscles just below my collar bone on my right shoulder not to mention ripped the crap out of my bursa in that shoulder.

I had emergency surgery the next day after the company quack sent me to see a very good Orthopedic doctor.

To say the least he took out the bursa and stitched up the ripped muscles. I wasn't able to write my name let alone hold a stick pin in my right hand for almost 2 years because of the damage.

I was on Darvecet 24 hrs a day since 1986 because the pain was killing me. I was so used to the pain killer that I was able to function again. But then they took it off the market and my pain came back so now I'm on Norco 7.5's.

So yes I feel your pain, dear and no, it won't ever go away. Well some of it will because you'll eventually get used to it over the years. It's like luggage, with you for life.
And NO you are not a Whiny o'l Bitch.

I have to say you freaking ROCK because you are still able to work through all that torture. I wasn't.

suzanne smith said...

thanks leeanna