Being a Nurse always means TMI

Being a nurse you are told things and shown things that you wish you could pluck your eye balls out or shove sharp instruments in your ears.  So if your squeamish don’t read any further.

First there was this family came in and the 63yr old male was here for swollen scrotum.  Pretty swollen and apparently been oozing.  Since I was in triage I place him in a young new nurse’s room.  Not on purpose mind you but let just say she had never saw anything like that I was pretty shocked.  But not as shocked as the Hospitalist that went in to talk with the family because the patient was going to be admitted.  She walked in and was getting some history when the daughter 31 yrs old drew back the sheet and exposed her dad’s junk.  Which was weird anyway but was made worse when the daughter lifted up her dads nuts and said see most of the swelling and chaffing is here.  I have been rubbing Vaseline on his scrotum to help with the pain.  Mind you the 63 yr olds girlfriend was also in the room AWKWARD!
How about the 18 yr old with Herpes that made her boyfriend leave the room because she didn’t want him to know that she had herpes.  Lovely.  Hope he was using a condom.Which also reminds me of the guy with Herpes so bad it went all the way to his butthole.  Which was really hard to see.
The women who come in all the time for vaginal pain.  I really think they love the doctors looking at their privates time and time again.  Nothing starts my day off than watching one of the doctors cram their arm up a big girl’s hooha.. sheeh.
Believe me I have seen too many woman’s crotches to count. See I have this thing right here as she spreads her legs…. Not to mention peckers..dear lord I have seen more of them than a street hooker.
Then of course you always  have the rambling patient that can never get to WHY ARE YOU HERE.  Well I have this cough and this hang nail on my toe. Also about 2 years ago I had left knee surgery. But now my right knee hurts…AHHHHHH