Sunday, November 20, 2011

Filet-o-nuts

rambutan4
So I have seen some gross and wild things from being a nurse.  Weirder ones now that I am an ER nurse but this next patient tops them all.  I had a patient that came in with testicular pain.  Which if this is a sudden pain make the patient Emergent because the chance they might be twisted.  Which can lead to many severe problems.  So I mark him Emergent and rush him to the next open room.  We proceed to get more info on him.  Apparently this gentleman of 50 some years old has been suffering from erectile dysfunction.  Because he was so frustrated he decided to try to cut his nuts off.  Right down the seam.  Looks pretty close to the picture above.  You could see his testicles because he cut the sack wide open.  We rushed and got the male doctor.  Who mind you is also a coroner.  (More stories on him later)  He walks in and says dear lord and walks right back out.  Tells the head nurse who is also male to get some wet dressing applied immediately while the surgeon is being called.  The Male nurse is doing this pee pee and kick in the nuts groin dance while being instructed on the dressing needed.  The doctor is still looking a little green while trying to tell the surgeon what this patient has done.  Wild…and is it weird that I wasn’t grossed out?  I was like cool.  While the male population looked at me in their various shades of green.  What?  I didn’t say I didn’t feel bad for him…I did at least shoot him up full of Morphine.

3 comments:

Ann Worthington said...

That is actually pretty sad. lol Only men can be so frustrated about the loss of the ability to have sex that they'd do something so drastic. Men are idiots.

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Morphine is good; cutting oneself open with used steak knife ?~! Errrrrr, not so much. What hole did some of these cats crawl out of...

Empty Sack said...

Now that I think about it, when I had to be to be hospitalized after an accident, the female nurses seemed unflappable about the state of my testicles and the news that they'd have to come off.

Kudos to the nurses whose bedside manners were far better than the doctor's. Very comforting and professional. I almost didn't feel embarrassed having female nurses change dressings and stuff on my (now ball-less) scrotum.

Not that I'd be upset or anything, but I have to ask. Would they have had a brief chuckle about it, out of earshot?

Cool blog by the way.