Saturday, March 31, 2012

Shot of Reality

Dear pain patient,
Yes I understand that you arm is in a lot of pain.  You have rheumatoid arthritis.  You are going to hurt.  I am not being unsympathetic.  You are just being a bitch.
A baby code is still more important than you pain and you should be ashamed of yourself acting the way you did.  The nurses were busy tied up in an emergency.  We were not ignoring you

Dear Asshole of a man,
When I am telling you I am aggravate with my printer at the moment don’t talk to me.  I AM AGGRAVATED.  Why did I yell at you?  Maybe because you were constantly trying to get my attention for the dumb crap you were doing while I was yelling at my printer.
Sincerely,  Please look up definition of WARNING or do you need a siren to go off?

  Dear work,
I don’t care if you give us 5.00 more on the hour I still will not be coming into work on my day off.  I like my days off.
I feel like I get screwed over 4 days a week already why would I want more

Dear Steroids,
I know I have to take you for my pinch nerve but I didn’t work my butt off and lose weight to gain it all back.  I don’t care what type of cravings you throw at me.
Sincerely, Stop with the chocolate cake cravings.   I refuse to give in!!

Dear mother in law
Yup fed you a bunch of bullshit.  Waiting to see if it get’s back to her.  Cause I know it will.  Cause you are two face
Sincerely get a life already and stay out of ours.

Dear Spine,
Yes we meet again.  No I don’t want a pinch nerve or the pain in my arm.  The numbness not so bad.  The Pain sucks by the way.  I refuse you to make me a gimp again.  I refuse to have surgery again.  Time for you to back off already.
Sincerely,  If I have to deal with you again it’s over!

Dear Starbucks,
You are stealing my money stop it.   Please refrain from putting so much crack in the coffee.  I might have to get a loan to support my habit.
Sincerely,  your favorite addict
p.s.  I have spread the addiction at work.  I think I deserve part of the cut now.


Leeanna Henderson said...

Hahahahahaaa! I love your little love letters. You Rock Woman!!

Martina said...

I'm pretty sure your man still won't understand even if an alarm went off. Men just don't get it. lol

MILs suck, especially two-faced ones. expensive yet so damn tasty. They get me with their damn energy drinks.

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Great stuff !~!

mommyinthemiddle said...


Nurse and Hospital Stories said...

"I have spread the addiction at work. I think I deserve part of the cut now."

I guess you deserve a discount, eh. lol. :)

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