Friday, March 30, 2012

Baby Codes: taking a piece of my heart one code at a time.

Nothing is more disturbing than a child code most of all a baby.  We had another one who actually coded when the parent put her on the gurney.  Most arrive already gone from this world due to crib death or various sickness that occurred through the night.  This was the first we have seen that coded in the ER.  This poor little girl was a sick little thing.  Had been on ECMO twice and had at least 6 surgeries.  Not that would change how we would look at this patient. A baby code can seem to go on forever because everyone us working hard not to give up and trying everything we can think off. 
I can keep it together when the code is going on but the worse part is when you know it’s time to tell the parents that there is no more hope.   The look in a parents eyes is the most heart wrenching and heart breaking look.  It’s hard to comfort someone that has lost a child when you as a nurse have never lost one.  I don’t think I could ever be a labor and delivery nurse for fear of losing a baby.  When the baby death is announced the crew is always full of tears and trying to keep it together to help support the parent.  I can accept and adult death easier because I know they have lived some kind of life.  But a baby’s life has just begun.  I know God needs his little lambs but sometimes….it feels so unfair.


Leeanna said...

I use to work in the lab Blood Bank. I had to prepare Plasma and Irradiated Blood for the ECMO babies that our hospital handled. I used to worry everytime I heard a Code on a baby on ECMO. I really started hating going to work if I was rotated to the Blood Bank that evening. It wears you down both physically and mentally and makes you question your beliefs.

Martina said...

See, one more reason I couldn't be a nurse.