Redneck Lawnmower

Okay so the men on this redneck hill are always on lawnmowers…most times to mow in fact they kind of mow in sync. The 4 men of the hill will mow usually the same day. Some one will start up their mower and mow and then everyone else does. Scary i told mejis you can see how our men will age first you have her man, the youngest balding with a gut, my man with bald but slightly graying beard with a gut, his uncle more graying (or dyed hair) with a very large gross gut with man boobs, their dad Dyed black hair with gray chest hair smaller gut, no ass, man boobs and last his uncle, completely grey and white hair, balding not from shaving, 6months pregnant and completely deaf. Their tempers are very close from mild, severe with beer (our men), his uncle- always severe since his is drunk all the time, his dad talks grouchy (putting up with whiney or lack of sex) and escalate to severe anger when his sons piss him off, to uncle who only gets angry because you are not using the right redneck sign language. What is that you ask? Over dramatizing with you mouth or use of hand gestures cause he is too lazy to learn sign language.
Next we have the lawnmower riders: Where mejis’s man and mine use them for transportation of themselves and their beer. Well sometimes they transport children in the lawnmower wagons. The funny thing is its spreading to the children now. I notice my nephew and the neighbor boy have their own nonblade working lawnmowers and racing up and down the road and everyone's lawn. If we have family cookouts we have the lawnmower parking area…lol How sad is that? I even have a picture of myself and my man driving me down the hill after the Easter egg hunt. I really think for mejis’s marriage that she ride down the isle on one with her flower girl and ring bearer toting in the back wagon. That would be priceless.
Last we have the I run over everything you own rider: That would be my father-in-law.
If your trying to grow something it will get mowed down, flatten by wheels or completely destroyed. He has taken down our saplings, bushes and out DISH which wasn’t cheap to repair. Hence why we got our own lawnmower. His wife will even put up little fences which get bent in the process of trying to save the little flowers. Today…he took out their telephone line…yup snap the line in two…sheesh…look out!

Parrot Patients

Okay being a nurse you see and hear everything…and on a full moon something is always going on. The last full moon was exceptionally noisy, which is the title of my blog. It never fails on a full moon the patients that normally stay in their bed are climbing out and the ones that are quiet are usually loud. In fact while I was working I had 3 pts surrounding the nurses’ station because they wouldn’t stay in bed. One yelling “ if someone don’t take me to the bathroom I am going to poop all over, poop all over, poop all over (mind you he just went to the bathroom) Another was Hey…hey …hey…shut your ass, another… where’s the door where’s the door….another yelling from her room…help I’m dying …help I’m dying (mind you she’s being dying for 3 yrs now)…and last but not least the sound of the beeping of the call lights…that’s enough to drive anyone insane…let alone me. Its fun when you look down and you’ve charted pt lying in bed with 2 rails at bedside….lol makes it hard for my brain to think with all the noise…
It’s even funnier or sadder when you get home and you can hear all those voices to some creepy ass tune in your head….lalala poop all over lalala my ass….lalala I am dying…lalala can’t breathe again…lalalala beep beep beep….omg no wonder I get migraines…

Redneck Easter

I spent Easter with my patients. After went to my in-laws for the Easter egg hunt. Wow no Drama which was nice. After we left there my kids had their Easter and had to find 73 eggs…one is still missing..lol
The kids got more than they needed for Easter and my man got his own basket…me got nothing. My hubby proceeds to innocently say…”I didn’t know we were getting anything for each other…”
No dear I usually make my own basket and everyone else's…this year i just didn’t…sheesh
Oh and where is the redneck stuff you ask? Pictures are better than words
My man’s idea of hiding the Easter eggs
My Mr. Gimpy’s mejis’s man idea of an Easter basket

This is my Brain...

This my brain:

This is my brain on Nursing school:

Yes I know your fried and I am getting older but i am just 33 so please stop crapping out on me.
I really hate that you:

1. Cause me to look like a complete idiot in the Wal-mart parking lot looking for where i parked my car…10 mins later finding it 4 isles over from where I was.
2. Cause me to blank out and forget to take that 5 point quiz 2 mins after it closed online.
3. Cause me to be dyslexic when I type…and have to back space constantly
4. Cause me to drive my car to work when I was suppose to be heading to school
5. Cause me to wake up in the morning wondering why my alarm is going off at 5am when I swear i don’t have class till 9…and i was suppose to be up at 5am…crap, thank God I figured that one out before I missed clinicals.
6. For causing me to be sooo tired that all I want to do is Farm on Farmville because that’s all the brain cell power I have…how sad…btw anyone need a neighbor add my arse on your FB!!
7. Cause me to lock myself out of my work locker.
8. Cause me to forget to chart important stuff till I get home and lay down to sleep…thanks
9. Cause me to have blogger writers block and cause me to write about my brain…how sad…

ZZaaap!

Okay so my brother law has gotten some new lights for his bike that only half work. Well it drives my hubby batty when things don’t work and so he decided to fix the bike. Mind you even though my man is a redneck he knows more about vehicles and bikes than he lets on. Mainly because he doesn’t like working on mechanical crap. Anyhow…i was visiting my sister-in-law hey by law after so many years she becomes sister-in-law ..lol anyway i went to check on the boys. My man had a wire to the lights and his brother was sticking it to the battery to see if they got the connection right. Apparently my brother-in-law was getting slowly zapped by the juice…and was stating hurry up i am getting zapped. My hubby who loves to aggravate his brother says just a few more minutes (the lights were on btw) i just about have it…the dumbarse stood there and held the wires a little longer…lol
Course my man was grinning ear to ear while his brother complained that from his hand to his elbow was tingling..lol sheesh…redneck brothers

Ready to get off this roller coaster of life

I know that live has its ups and downs…but lately I feel like i am getting a little sick to my stomach and I am ready to get off this ride of life. Not ended it like in suicide more as in lay on a beach chair on a tropical beach and have some hunky waiter waiting on me hand a and foot. Between school and my family and I think you might find me in the mental ward or jail..lol

First lets start with the constant bickering. My girls are 15months apart and completely opposites. My youngest is the girly girl, organized and apparently a grade level below in reading.

My oldest is the tom boy, who never seems to comb her hair and her room looks like a bomb went off. If you don’t keep up with her she will wear dirty clothes if left on floor. She is unfortunately taking more after my ex than i wish. I just found out she got a F in math.

My redneck man, who grew up with a mommy that did everything for him…possible wiped his ass is sloppy, constantly cusses, and had inherited the family pass time of drinking.
Now mind you I am no angel. I can be hard to live with. I am a perfectionist, organized and can all around be a bitch. Or at least my man seems to call me that most times.
So my dilemma is do I try to fix the family issues or hope that all can survive for the next 3 months and 5 days left before I graduate and pray no one dies?

My man is no help. He won’t take the kids any where. Not to band or church youth group. He works hard and thinks kids would do better if just left with nature and not culture. Making him in charge of the kids education is scary and would be better off in my dogs paws. He has taken over cooking but I think he did that because I have slacked off on it and gone to quick and easy meals. That’s about all he does. My youngest helps out the most and will do anything if asked. But she shouldn’t have to do it all herself. In fact the man has learned that and will inform me that the house got clean and most of it was done by her. While he drank his beer and watched. My oldest…uh lets just say its never done right and most times you have to go back and redo it anyway. She has struggled in school to the point that i had her test to make sure she wasn’t ADD. Nope she was borderline. So no help there. My man is high against any drugs to help her focus. Oh did i mention she still wets the bed? she is 12. dr said there is nothing physically but possible age issues. Meaning she will grow into her bladder. He told me 2 yrs ago we could put her on meds for it. Which btw is an antidepressant with suicidal ideation as a risk…so uh no thanks, So reading most family blogs I see everyone else's kids excelling and skipping grades…what the heck am I doing wrong? we do extra math and reading. But heck some of that math was 20yrs ago when i did it. The teachers are a joke. I mean don’t you think they should have let me know she was slipping in grades instead of waiting till it was on the report card. This kid had be grounded from everything. No videos, no TV, no overnights, and this time i am not letting her go to the dance. I mean this has been going on for the last 2 yrs at least. She knows she is suppose to show me the low grades so that we can work on them. But i never seem to see those papers. Unless i am there in class holding her hand and telling her what to do I am beginning to think we might not make it to high school. Is anyone else out there having issues?
and as for the man that's another blog

what the hell?

So where did you get your teaching license? Sears? Crackerjack box? Just curious. I mean you would think if a program has been running for a long time, they would know what’s going on right? That they would be somewhat organized and knowledgeable?
Ah No, hell no, more like disorganized and not knowing the ass from a hole in the ground. Here’s my schedule
Mon- 1030 get pt assignments from hospital and start paperwork for clinicals

1-4 class
430-? go back to the hospital and finish pt assignment
At home working on lab values, meds, and more pt assignment worksheets
Tues- clinicals 6am-5pm
Wed Pharmacy 9am-1105
Nursing class-1-4
Thursday- preceptor hours if they every find me one
Friday- work one week of the next
Sat- work one week of the next
Sundays- work 6am- 5pm
So on the rotating days that i don’t work or nights after all this crap i have to squeeze in 2 group projects (and meet to work on), 2 Sims labs, 72 hours preceptor hours, weekly online dimensions quizzes and activities, about every two weeks a test in nursing 222 and finally one nursing care plan. So why do they wait till the last semester to cram it all in? Why don’t they have the preceptors picked out before spring semester, and why the hell couldn’t i have done some of these preceptor hours during Christmas 3 week breaks…or hell let us know in advance about stuff we could work on during break. What is with the emails 10pm emails dealing with whatever is going on the next day. That's not a whole lot of notice. This program is such chaos…but it still has a great pass rate compare to other schools…how the heck? how can i meet with the people in my group if they are on the opposite class and clinical rotations? This program needs to get their head out of their ass

Gadgets I love

So some of the gadgets in my life I just love…hey I am a electronic junkie.

ah my Dsxl…bigger and better…for those old people that don’t mind having a bigger screen.  Bigger is always better!! lol

My droid…does the same as the IPhone but half the price..who doesn’t love that?


My DVD player..that can play my next dvd of the twilight series…not to mention my Supernatural collection…ah the love of the supernatural creatures.

for the lazy people that don’t want to go to the gym..if you can get over the uhhh noise it makes when it weighs you…hey what a motivator right>??? plus its fun as hell

One of my new found loves... I never thought I would like this since I love the feel and smell of a new book.  But its so convenient and I love when I finish a book of the series I can purchase the next book in 30 seconds instead of driving 35 miles away.  They could improve the free books…but nothing good is ever free anyway.
Last but not least is…
My IPOD touch..the newest addiction/addition to my electronics…hello angry birds and zombie farm is enough to get addicted.  I can rip my DVD’s from home and put them on there for my entertainment.  The music isn’t as easy to look thru as my Zune but it has awesome gadgets that attach to it for the house.  Like a boom box that has awesome speakers.  I love the apps…the camera sucks they could have just left that off…but it came with it.  Its slim fitting better than my droid making it great for my pocket at work…were I can update my fb, check out my tweets and always have epocrates when I need to look up an unfamiliar drug.  So that my Electronic meme…what’s yours??

Deadbeat dad's

I really don’t talk about my ex because he is a low life asshole. My 2 kids are not my husbands. They are from my first marriage. Now mind you I met him in the army. He thinks he is the shit because he has served his country and has been to Iraq 3 times…now i really appreciate what veterans have done for us but…grrrr
First let me tell you he has never been a father to these kids. Only when it appealed to him. Like when i wanted them on his weekend wouldn’t he pretend that it matter that he saw them. In the last 4 years he has seen them maybe 5 times…and none in almost the last 2 1/2 years. (btw i have a calendar with the dates, just take me to court prick) He never wrote the kids to tell them he was even alive while in Iraq. I know alot of people that never forgot to write their family. He is a truck driver for the army and even got hurt over in Iraq. So yes your a veteran.. But remember you were committed to the mental institute by me cause you tired to kill yourself before you ever were in Iraq so getting committed after is not an excuse not to contact your daughters. Its called a phone…can’t afford it? Its called a letter…if you can get a new tattoo every month u can afford a fucking 44 cent stamp! This is what his mood said on MySpace “ive been away for a while this i know,but i have to heal myself before i can be with those who are my soul,I DO LOVE MY DAUGHTERS” we haven’t received any calls or child support in about 2 yrs. And he loves his daughters? WTF? He swears he is stress from the war and is not safe to be around. But what about before he left for the war? When he saw the kids when it was convenient he would take them to McDonalds. My kids actually hated going there. He actually waited until the day he was leaving for Iraq and spent 30 mins with the kids in my yard. What kind of attention is that? My oldest wants to change her last name to my hubby’s. He is telling people I am the bitch that won’t let him see his kids? Hello i am the one that takes them to see him mom not him? where the hell was he when his oldest had surgery? he wasn’t in Iraq then? ah no! Does he even know what grade they are in? He wasn’t there for their first band concerts…or for their baptism. Or how hard his oldest is struggling in school. He doesn’t take them fishing like my hubby does. Or picks them up from school. He wasn’t there when they were sick or sad. Or when they had nightmares because they thought he died over there or crying because he doesn’t love them. Does he know just how he hurt his kids? No he doesn’t care…he hide behind his I am not safe to be around…i am not safe to be around..i might just wring your neck for all the pain you put MY kids you stupid sperm donor, married 3 times and can’t keep a woman cause you can’t stop screwing up… They have grown up these last 2 1/2 years without him. He can take his love and shove it up his ASS! He isn’t going to fix himself he was screw up a long time ago WAAAAY before the war…so don’t give me that crap! And for the spies that read my blogs and send it to him FUCK YOU!

okay i feel better…

Hanging on by a thread

I have been trying to keep my head above water at school, between trying to juggle work and many other things for school it makes it hard to get good study time.  In nursing you have to have a C in order to pass (75).  I have had to B on my tests and the rest have been C.  Mainly because I really need to increase my study time.  The biggest scare is that I have the worse freaking subject left…immunology and endocrine…ugh  So instead of hunting this year at thanksgiving I will be working on my 3 papers and redoing my stupid care plan.  I didn’t learn how to do the care plan like the 1st year students did.  She was a little more lenient on the LPN students because we all messed up the same parts.  So we get to redo it and turn it in after thanksgiving…I hope to get time to study for this freaking test…I am sssooooooo tired…that I am trying to stay awake in class…and trying not to fall asleep behind the wheel….sheesh…if i graduate…i plan to sleep a month to catch up…