Back issues

To All of my old followers I am sure you remember my months of posting about my back and being out of work. Not to mention months of being stuck home. I did have plenty of time to blog though. Awhile back I had a psych patient that was being violent and I ended up pulling my shoulder. Which turn out to be a pinched nerve. Apparently it's not any better because last thursday I really hurt it. Now I am on
Iight duty, steroids, muscle relaxers and NSAIDs. Which Is making me a hormonal mess. If the meds don't cause severe mood swings, fatigue i get to look forward to excess sweating. Note to self bring extra deodorant. Mine apparently ran out half way thru the night. Hand sanitizer mixed with flower lotion will not help. What was worse I thought the patient smelled and it was me....ewww. Had to call the floors to send me deodorant down to the ER. How sad is that. Light duty is a joke in the ER since when is there light duty anything? No lifting, pushing or pulling more than 20 pounds, no bending, squatting. No raising either arm about head. Hello all the gowns are above my head. Not to mention towels, wash rags and bed sheets. That doesn't work at all. I already feel like crap and now i have to call employees to get things down! Like they have time for that. Not to mention we are on mandatory overtime so I still feel over worked. How the hell am I suppose to get better. They are already lining me up to see a neurologist. That way I can get a mylelogram done. Which I had done before. It was the most painful procedure I have ever had done. And I have had back surgery and two kids. So I hurt, feel useless at work, fatigued from all the drugs, and scared to death I might be on the road to another surgery. I just want to go to bed and throw the covers over my head and hide some.mmi wish they would back off on work a little. I might get the chance to really recover. Ugh so frustrated
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Here Piggy Piggy: Update

Well I quit weight watchers to save money so I could join the gym.  I just couldn’t keep the weight down.  So exercise it is.  I have lost of total of 21 pounds.  That is if the steroids I am on doesn’t change that.  I work out about 3 days a week for about 45 mins.  I am hoping that helps me keep the weight down or work harder at the gym when I cheat.  I really hate the cravings I get.  It reminds me of when I was pregnant.  I would get an item stuck in my head and I would have to get it and eat it.  Sucks.  Especially right now at 4 in the morning where I would love to have a piece of cake.   mmmm cake.  No I refuse to make a cake at the crack of dawn.  The kids might think we are having cake for breakfast…lol  Yea that’s a great reason not to eat cake.   Well anyway.  I am doing me best.  I am at 141 and my goal is 133 so less than 10 pounds.  If I can resist the temptations…damn you Starbucks I just might make it.  I don’t want to be a skinny mini but I would love to look healthy.  Nothing more depressing than a nurse who doesn’t look healthy.  I don’t want to be telling my patients they should stop smoking if I can’t back off on the bread.  Kind of hypocritical don’t you think?

Shot of Reality

Dear pain patient,
Yes I understand that you arm is in a lot of pain.  You have rheumatoid arthritis.  You are going to hurt.  I am not being unsympathetic.  You are just being a bitch.
Sincerely,
A baby code is still more important than you pain and you should be ashamed of yourself acting the way you did.  The nurses were busy tied up in an emergency.  We were not ignoring you

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Dear Asshole of a man,
When I am telling you I am aggravate with my printer at the moment don’t talk to me.  I AM AGGRAVATED.  Why did I yell at you?  Maybe because you were constantly trying to get my attention for the dumb crap you were doing while I was yelling at my printer.
Sincerely,  Please look up definition of WARNING or do you need a siren to go off?

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  Dear work,
I don’t care if you give us 5.00 more on the hour I still will not be coming into work on my day off.  I like my days off.
Sincerely,
I feel like I get screwed over 4 days a week already why would I want more

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Dear Steroids,
I know I have to take you for my pinch nerve but I didn’t work my butt off and lose weight to gain it all back.  I don’t care what type of cravings you throw at me.
Sincerely, Stop with the chocolate cake cravings.   I refuse to give in!!

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Dear mother in law
Yup fed you a bunch of bullshit.  Waiting to see if it get’s back to her.  Cause I know it will.  Cause you are two face
Sincerely get a life already and stay out of ours.

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Dear Spine,
Yes we meet again.  No I don’t want a pinch nerve or the pain in my arm.  The numbness not so bad.  The Pain sucks by the way.  I refuse you to make me a gimp again.  I refuse to have surgery again.  Time for you to back off already.
Sincerely,  If I have to deal with you again it’s over!

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Dear Starbucks,
You are stealing my money stop it.   Please refrain from putting so much crack in the coffee.  I might have to get a loan to support my habit.
Sincerely,  your favorite addict
p.s.  I have spread the addiction at work.  I think I deserve part of the cut now.

Baby Codes: taking a piece of my heart one code at a time.

Nothing is more disturbing than a child code most of all a baby.  We had another one who actually coded when the parent put her on the gurney.  Most arrive already gone from this world due to crib death or various sickness that occurred through the night.  This was the first we have seen that coded in the ER.  This poor little girl was a sick little thing.  Had been on ECMO twice and had at least 6 surgeries.  Not that would change how we would look at this patient. A baby code can seem to go on forever because everyone us working hard not to give up and trying everything we can think off. 
I can keep it together when the code is going on but the worse part is when you know it’s time to tell the parents that there is no more hope.   The look in a parents eyes is the most heart wrenching and heart breaking look.  It’s hard to comfort someone that has lost a child when you as a nurse have never lost one.  I don’t think I could ever be a labor and delivery nurse for fear of losing a baby.  When the baby death is announced the crew is always full of tears and trying to keep it together to help support the parent.  I can accept and adult death easier because I know they have lived some kind of life.  But a baby’s life has just begun.  I know God needs his little lambs but sometimes….it feels so unfair.

Trying out the New google+ and blogger combo

I found out that you can link your google plus with your blogger.  The only thing I can't figure out is how the heck do I get my blog posts to link to my google plus so that my followers on google plus can see when I have new post up.  If anyone knows how to do this please let me know.  Right now i have to paste the link in the share box.  I lost alot of followers when I shut down my old account.  I had some people who found it that shouldn't have. So i had to end my livingdeadnurse alias and create my new one.  Help I need more traffic to my blog.  Any suggestions?  I am hoping that maybe if I had more audience i might be more compelled to type more often.  Or so I hope that is if work will let me.  Course another reason I haven't blogged in awhile is because I love to read too.  Unfortunately I cannot do both.  Such limited time I have anymore.  Plus trying to get on this weight loss kick.  So there is time for the gym too...ugh i know when I was younger I was in many activities.  How in the world I ever juggled so many is beyond me.   So tell me those that have over 200 followers how the heck do you do it?

No longer on Facebook find me on google

So I am no longer using facebook.  I am using Google plus.  Add me

https://plus.google.com/102238425736936782521/posts

Should I stay or should I go?

I haven’t been blogging because sometimes life goes by so fast it’s really hard to get enough time to actually blog anymore.  Especially work where there is mandatory overtime and shortage of nurses.  Which makes me wonder should I stay or should I go.  The questions that I have been dealing with the last few months.  Due to the over working I have injured my neck making it hard to heal.  That’s a blog in itself.  Anyway,  working nights and all this over time makes me feel exhausted all the time.  I feel that I work, sleep, eat and run errands.  To tired to really enjoy life or even have time to blog and since I usually blog every day or at least twice a week.  I have always used my blogs as an outlet to vent and clear my mind.  Making my mind clouded and scatterbrained isn’t helping much.  I have seriously been keeping my eyes open for a new job.  Even though the boss keeps telling everyone please hang on it will get better.  Now I love where I work and most of the people I work with.  Should I hang on?  I have been hanging it seems like 5 months now.  Still no site of relief or cut back in my hours.  What happens if I get a new job and then really hate it.  But I want to make a little more dough and a little less hours.  My kids are going to be grown and out of the house.  I don’t want to live at work and miss them growing up.  I have really thought about going PRN so I can still work there and a few other places giving me a variety of options.  However I would have to leave my crew and that really sucks.  I enjoy working with them.  Ugh  I hate making new decisions.   So what do you think should I stay or should I go?

Here piggy piggy

Yea I know it's been forever since I did a weight loss blog. I kind of fell off the wagon. Ended up on steroids for back injury and gain back 10 pounds. Which brought me back to square one. So I joined the gym. Back down to where I started when I started weight watchers about a year and a half ago. But this is where last time i got stuck at this stupid weight and I seemed to teeter totter from here. Up 2 pounds down 3 up 1 down one grrr. But even though on this go round i am not losing poundage I have loss fat %. I have gone from 31.4 % to about 29.3 % in the three weeks that I have started the gym. I know that I should be proud and happy but I am afraid I will never get passed this point. Of course I have only been at this point for a week since getting back on track. I don't want to look like a super model but I am tired of looking like a tele tubby. Especially since I am not asking much. I just want to be the end range of my weight limit for my body frame and height. Which is 132. So far I lost 17 pounds. So here's to a skinnier me,
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Things that I wonder about to myself

There are days that I really do keep my mouth shut.  Surprising I know but I would love to speak what’s on my mind but I would like to avoid the hospital.  Especially since it’s full.  That’s another blog in itself.   So here goes.  By the way English experts my brain doesn’t always think in correct grammar. 
My wandering mind: Brought to from me but stealing the idea from my sister in law.  Sorry was a good steal. Check her out  click here.
Gym

1. Wow spandex is not your friend
2. Does my butt look like that in those same pants? God I hope not
3. Wow why even wear shorts they look like they are painted on. Wish my ass looked like that.
4. iPad at the gym?  What the heck no wonder why you can’t lose weight.  Get off the chair and iPad and get on the treadmill
5. Omg grandpa just speed walked passed me.  Damn I must be fat and out of shape
6. Ugh really I have only gone .5 miles?  My legs feel like Jell-O
7. I really wanna quit.  I can do this.  That blonde is so fit.  I want to look like that.  Must continue on to no pain no gain…wait I don’t want to gain.  Um No Guts no Glory.  I must have a lot of glory because I sure have a lot of guts.
8. Wow back off on the steroids dude…I mean ma’am
9. Ouch ouch ouch.  I will not say that out loud as I go down the steps.  Oh shit there went my leg.  That would suck to tumble down the stairs.  Great the old lady asked if I was okay.  I was hoping no one saw that.

Work

1. Really?  At 3am it’s an emergency to come in for cold and cough that you have had for 3 days.  Sure whatever.
2. Do you think it’s broke? ~ Ma’am do I look like an x-ray machine?
3. See this?  this rash what is it?  what can I do to make it go away? ~Bathe wow you smell.  Do I look like a doctor?
4. I was here this morning and my child still is sick so I brought them back. ~ What OMG really let’s rush them back.  It’s a cold dumbass it doesn’t disappear after one dose of antibiotics.
5. I know what you need to make you feel better.  Soap and water.  Well at least it would make the rest of the world feel better
6. you stuck what where?
7. Can I leave? I have to go to work. ~well sir had you not chew up a fentanyl patch you could and maybe the ambulance wouldn’t have needed to bring you the to ER tonight because you were dead there for a little while.  But sure by all means go to work and kill your coworker because YOU ARE STILL UNDER THE INFLUENCE…and stupid
8. Smile I love my job I love my job.  It’s illegal to stab you with my pen.  Keep smiling.
9. I really wish you would get off you ass and help.  A few of us are tired of doing it all.
10. I really would like to bathe your kid for you.  Maybe show you how it’s done.
11. yes ma’am I can tell you are really hurting if you don’t get off you iphone I might show you some pain. Gah!
12. Really Dr Dumbass you can swab a kids nose for RSV?  you have to bitch about it while I am taking care of my CRITICAL patient.  Sure let me drop everything and get that for you.

Home

1. Really I married you why?  ~I already have 2 kids
2. Can you run this errand for me?  ~ hell no! so you can nap on your day off while I get one day off and do all the running.  I think not.
3. What can you do to make me happy ? do you not hear me bitching every day?  pick one!
4. eww dog really?  what died in your ass.  Gross, cough, gag blargh
5. What do you have? Gross is that…that’s a used tissue.  What is wrong with you black dog.  Spit it out.
6. I just cleaned this.  Did a tornado touch down in the living room and I missed it?
7. I have 100 channels of nothing on TV.  I think I spend more time flipping than watching.
8. Really no new shows till April?  They need another month off.  Damn I am in the wrong line of work.
9. Can I trade you for another dog please.
10. Yes dear you know all I know nothing.

Starbucks:

1. Dear teen I think your wearing you mom’s sweat pants they are 3 times to big for you.
2. Wow I didn’t know Pretty woman’s boots were real.
3. this music makes me want to kill people
4. I think the barista has had too much coffee or they are hiring people from the insane asylum.
5. No I don’t want your stupid diarrhea whip cream on my coffee.  Yes you will remake it
6. Omg I can see the new Olive Garden sign.  Yes this town is moving up in the redneck world about time
7. Hi nope I have no idea who you are.  You look familiar.  Crap I am getting old.
8. Did I mention my ears are bleeding from this music.  I think they must put this crap on to make you want to leave….sheesh.  Omg There is an old dude dancing to this crap.  Really?

Life goes on

Okay blogger let's try not to eat this post this time.
Like I tried to post earlier here goes again...retyped grr

Anyway it's not like I am getting bored of blogging it's more like life goes on. You look at your last post and say really has it been that long? Apparently it has. I have just been really busy with work. They are trying to kill the nurses that are still hanging on. We have lost a lot of good season nurses to the competition who is paying nurses more. Why work this hard when you can get more money somewhere else. That or they don't want to work and out looking for jobs that require less effort and the same wages. Bad thing is even with them giving 2 or 3 week notices the company can't get the holes filled fast enough. Meaning the remaining staff is working overtime and ore 12 hour shifts. Sucks since the government take most of your hard earned money. I think they shouldn't be allowed to tax as Much if you are working more than 40 hours a week. Did I mention I don't want overtime???? I think that they shouldn't be able make you work more if you don't want too. Aggravating. In fact I would really prefer to cut back if possible. Kids grow up fast and money isn't everything.

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