Thursday, February 7, 2013

Shot of Reality: Mother of the year

It is just amazing what you see in the ER.  There are some really uneducated people and there are just stupid people.  Just to define the two for those that don’t know there is a difference uneducated means not educated, lack of education or just don’t know any better.  Stupid people are people to lazy to do anything about it, no matter how much you teach them they will do the opposite and make me wish mandatory sterilization was legal again.  So this entry is dedicated to the  “special” moms aka dumbass in my ER or in this redneck area.  Now mind you there are the first time mom’s that bring their kids in for every little sniffle.  These are not the moms I am referring too.

Dear Deadbeat Mom,
Do you know where you 14 yr old daughter is?  I do.  She is in my ER with a huge laceration to the back of her head.  Who brought her in?  Some 18 yr old and 22 yr old guys.  Guess what she won’t give me your telephone number.  Why?  She’s intoxicated. 
Nevermind she’s not even living with you she lives with her 19yr old sister who could care less. Fabulous.  Guess what apparently the doctor doesn’t care either because they released her to those guys.  FYI your daughter is a tramp.

Dear Back Pain mom,
Yes I understand that you have back pain but did you have to bring the entire family.  You mother could have kept the 3 small children at home.  Lovely do you think maybe you could please keep your kids from using my scale as a jungle gym.  Now they are playing with wheelchairs, jumping off the bed.
Sincerly ,  Whoops sorry I pissed you off by reprimanding your brats but its amazing how fast they stopped after I took charge.

Dear Grow some Balls mother,
What seems to bring you here today?  Your 4 yr old won’ t take her medication to help keep her fever down.  So you brought her out in 18 inches of snow, ignored the please don’t be on the roads except in emergencies, and braved the ice just so we could shove Tylenol up her butt. 
Sincerely it’s time to take the booby out of the brats mouth.
Ps  I found it very amusing when the brat screamed and kicked about getting meds up her ass.  Exactly why I explained to her that taking her orange flavored motrin would be a lot easier and I hope that she does take it or the remaining doses will have to be the same. 

Dear germ spreading mom,
Just in case you are not aware but this is one of the worst years for the flu.  So when I am educating you and your brood of children please take heed.  Letting them crawl around on the floor where people have puke, shit or bled on isn’t the best place for them to be.  Allowing them to put everything in their mouth during the flu season while you are here for you belly pain is a good sign you will be back next week with flu like symptoms.
Sincerly , did you really just let that pacifier hit the floor and pop it back into that kids mouth???

1 comment:

Martina said...

Eeeewww kids crawling on the floor in the ER. I don't even like to sit on the beds. lol
I swear, you must get all the inbred into your hospital.