Jump for Joy

Okay I have to toot my own horn…I freakin passed the Head to Toe exam. Yippee! I felt like a little kid at Christmas…I wanted to shout it at the top of my lungs and I couldn’t wait to tell someone…so I called just about everyone…lol Seriously thought about calling everyone on my cell phone…but I don’t think pizza hut or Wal-Mart would really care…I was really shocked we passed cause we even got the dag gone teacher that was failing everyone. I was so happy to hear I passed. I couldn’t believe the people that I heard say that they barely studied…are they on crack? We studied are butt off and it was rough…sheesh
Now all I have left is to pass the exam with at least at 70 and I will have completed this dag gone class. I am not wanting a 70 I just wanted to know what leeway I have. Anyway on with Rn transition class…I think my teacher is the Nursing Care Plan Nazi...I can’t believe what I have to turn in to her after our first clinical. I am not even sure I know what the hell I am doing. My lab partner kept looking at me…what the hell look..lol Even the teacher said you all have that deer in the headlight look. No shit lady…we have no idea what we are doing. I mean I have done care planning before but this is crazy. So as soon as I am done studying for my exam I have to get my butt in gear and get this care plan a going…Just have to make it till Aug5…come on summer I am ready for you to end!

RN School crazies

Okay so school has been crazy and it got crazier today…first lets just say I got to be the Model pt. (not a good thing) I got to be in my sports bra and stretchy shorts in front of 15 of my classmates while my instructor showed them how to do a full head to toe assessment. That sucked! It took an hour a freakin hour. Just what I wanted was my flab out for the world to see and my neon white legs. Anyway I started my day at 830 and then ate a quick packed lunch, cause the next class was too soon to leave campus. I did the next class from 1 till 515pm. The teacher seems really nice. The part that gets on my freakin nerves is this LPN that just rubs me the wrong way. You know the type…has a family member with the affliction or knows someone that has it. Always asking dumb questions or stories to tell that are not related to the subject at hand. Well guess what not only is she in my health assessment class she is in my bridge class. She drives me so crazy that I am seriously thinking about switching classes. Well we were all crammed into this conference room for today only. It was hot and stuffy so the teacher turn on the Ac. Problem was that stupid LPN would get up and turn it back up because she was cold. Thing is the rest of us were hot and using our papers as fans. Finally one of the other students got up and turned it back down…not even 10 mins later she turned it back up…I looked at my lab partner and said if she touches that damn thing one more time I am going to break her fingers!

Course that made her giggle and the teacher glared at us like we were misbehaving. Anyway by that time it was almost the end of class and everyone was glaring at that LPN. Dagger glaring from 8 of us must have finally turn on the light bulb in this retards head cause she got up and turned it back down. Freaking buttass!

Redneck Lobster

 
Okay so Mejis man had this great idea lets cook some crawdads (crayfish) to eat.  Well my man was missing so I went to look for him and Mejis man and my man were at the family pond.  My brother in law proceeds to bug me to here eat ones of these…and he points to this pot on the camp stove of 6 crawdads. Ah no thanks…first if you knew how he cooked…no one would want to eat anything.  Course most things are over cooked…but there was no way I was eating anything that was possibly still raw.  I told him he was free to eat all he wanted. That I  really didn’t feel like being sick tomorrow.  So he proceeds to dissect one of these critters and sucking this white meat out of its claws…Hey Bro come eat some of this.  So now my man and him…followed by brother in law boy and my oldest are eating parts of this creature from the back creek.  EWW is all I can say…ahh come on its just like Lobster…and i bite my tongue…cause I want to say to my brother in law when have you ever had the money for that or class…and then Mejis comes down and we chit chat about our redneck men when out of the sky falls a head of a crawdad…her man smiling it wasn’t me it was the boy…so in about 5 min he has crawdad carcasses shoved in places I don’t even want to think of…poor things…anyhow that’s my redneck moment brought to you by BEER.

Redneck Man

 

Yes ladies and germs its that time again. Time to look inside my life of my afro-engineering hubby. My man can come up with some of the most interesting things…i.e. see pic of tomato plant bucket holder on my photoblog. He made a water slide out of a roll of black plastic…baby soap provided by me…since he thought i would be safe for little girls to use regular soap. lol Anyway his new project was the girls campout on the front porch. Why don’t they just sleep in a tent? Well first of all that would be too easy. Second he thinks the bears might eat them..lol I seriously doubt that they would…might upset the bears stomach…lol Anyhoo…I just had to take some pics of this interesting contraption now covering my front porch…thank God I am surrounded by other rednecks who probably won’t even look twice…here goes

this is from the entrance…they were still setting up the sleeping bags at this point

now you can’t see them

from inside their redneck tent…lol

Failed Drug Test

Ha Ha nothing like a title like that to get everyone jumping to this page…thought it was a joke did you? Nope I failed my drug test for nursing. Wanna know why? Well if you read my blog 3 hours and 3 shots to the ass later you would be able to deduct my dilemma. One of the shots was Valium and I tested positive for temazepam, which flags me… great. I explain nicely to the Dr. drug detector what had happen and he states that well diazepam doesn’t break down into that. So he continues to ask…Did you take someone else's medication. I politely thru my teeth state no sir I am a nurse and know better than that. Your not suppose to take anyone else's Rx meds especially narcotics. Its against the law. He continues to argue that I must have taken some one’s Restoril. Hey jackass before you go accusing people you might want to check your drug book. They are in the same drug family dill hole. So what did I get to do today…get my family Dr to send this arse my copy of my ER records…not to mention I had a few drug sites on hand just in case he wanted to continue to argue with me. GRRRR Some Dr’s seem to amaze me…how the hell did they get thru med school…but then again someone had to be in the bottom of there class right?

Germaphobe or Gross?

So here I sit in Outpatient waiting to pee in a cup for this lovely drug test for school. I have an appt. however they must have forgotten cause its 20 mins passed time and I have drank enough to pee in 3 cups. Lovely right? So while I sit there with my legs cross hoping pee doesn’t spew from my eye balls…I sit there watching the people around me. There is this little girl, turns 2 on the 4th I think I heard the parent say. She is sucking away on this dum dum lollipop. First thought going thru my mind is I hope I don’t have to do the heimlich maneuver on this kid cause the suckers are known to come off the stick. That is still not the worse of it. She drop it in the floor of the hospital. And the mother picks it up takes out a tissue and wipes it off and the child plops it back into her mouth. First off ewww. Now maybe at my own house the 5 second rule would apply. But in a hospital where people are sick, crap in the floor, vomit…ugh. Yes I know that they clean the floor with powerful products. But not every moment of the day after countless dirty shoes have walked over their clean floor. Would u let your kid lick the lollypop?

double gloved

I have a sick sense of humor…but it was kinda funny can’t help but share it.  Had a doctor as me if the patient had yet been checked for a impaction yet.  Me and my preceptor said no but we can if you need us to.  Nah I can do it but you guys can assist me.  Went in the doctor starts tell the patient what he is going to do.  We put on our gloves and he is pulling on a second set of gloves.  “ I always double glove…cause its bad enough when the toilet paper tears…and this isn’t even my poop." So he proceeds to stick his finger where the sun don’t shine.  When he removes his finger she farts a big wet fart and poop goes flying everywhere…and the doctor jumps back nearly tripping over the bed table to get out of the way…poop all over the bed and rail…just missing the White coated doctor…apparently…double gloved doesn’t necessarily mean your safe…the dr chuckles…”hmm i don’t believe she is impacted”…
Maybe a rain coat, goggles and double glove…hehe

Don’t not give OJ to your nursing books

I need a desk no if and or butts. Why you ask? Because I have the most accident prone child. If she can get hurt she does and if she can get it dirty she will. Last semester she spilled pop on my A & P Lab manual. That was sitting on the counter. This semester she decorated my Med Surge book with OJ. Thank God it missed my Health Assessment homework. Let’s not even include her own stuff or anyone else's that she has spilled liquids on.
So I have come to realize that the kitchen table isn’t the best place to try to do homework. The only problem is no money and living in a small home makes it hard to fix this issue. My current desk is a computer desk armoire. I don’t use the computer, cause it’s ancient and have upgraded to a laptop. So I gave it to the kids for their room…with the computer out I realize you cannot turn it into a functional writing desk. GRR… So now what? I search for a cheap desk that is small. It took me about a week to finally find something that wasn’t 800 dollars or the size of my kitchen table.
Assembly…this is where as the redneck turns starts…
I love my hubby and he is great at rigging things together and actually making it work. The problem is he never follows the direction on assembly of things. He wants to figure it out. Well the last time we put something together we had to take it all apart and turn it the correct direction…which made the project longer..lol
So his bright idea was to use extra glue to make it stronger. It took pleading to convince him not to due to previous issues. Thank God he listen. It took the entire family to put this little desk together. And yes at least once we had to flip something back around. So thank you for using NO GLUE…so an hour or so later here it is…Crammed into the kitchen next to the table. Its a tight fit but maybe it will be safe from the Super Spiller.

that's my computer cord going across…i type on the couch…

Pretty close don’t you think? Oh well

Stripped Lobster

Why you don’t let your 10 yr old apply sunscreen to your back. Mommy I didn’t want to get the straps on your dress dirty with sunscreen. Okay…not thinking…so I have 2inch strips of Bright red sunburn on either side of where my straps were. Thanks..lol Ouch ouch ouch!

Almost Caught the house on Fire

Okay so like I was saying in the previous blog the power was out yesterday. Well everyone but me went to bed. I was trying to stay up long enough for the power to come back on so I could set alarms and turn off all the lights. I was seriously thinking about going to bed…and figured that crap the lights will probably wake me up or not and run the electric bill sky high. Finally some time after 10pm…the lights kick on. Yup every light was on. I started back at the kids rooms and bathroom and flicked lights off and blew out candles. I then went out the front door for a min or so and looked at the moon came back in and the house was full of smoke…hmm to much to be the blown out candle crap there is a candle that caught something on fire so I am looking in the living room for a turn over candle…Only to find in the kitchen when the man took the food off the stove to the grill…he assumed I turned off the stove and i assumed he did. Apparently one of the kids assumed that too because there was a potholder on top of the stove in flames!!! So running to the stove i grab the only part not on fire and threw it in the sink and douse it with water trying to put it out. There was pretty much nothing left of the gloved pot holder. Had I gone to bed or stayed outside much longer the paneling would have caught fire and that would have been all she wrote. Grief…and none of the 3 fire alarms went off. And nobody even woke up. So guess what new fire alarms all around!

I just don’t see why it didn’t work…lol…okay I couldn’t help myself!
This better?