Innernet

I really have married a redneck man. My man wanted me to use my email for some crap that he might win. I told him that I didn’t want spam to my email so I create him an email. Well while I was on Facebook he asked me if I he got any thing yet. I said huh? You know on Facebook? No Hun I made you a email account. I know do I have anything yet. I had to explain to him that I made him an email not a Facebook account. So I made him a Facebook account. Well a couple days later he asked if he got any calls. I told him no one had called the house for him. No on Facebook he stated. Um calls? you know from people. Oh you mean messages? Yea whatever...
I had to explain to him that he needed to add friends. Then he asked about he emails. I told him he would have to give his friends his email so that others will email him. I guess he thought poof everyone knows he is on the internet now…lol
then days later when I was making fun of him cause his status still mentioned dreading Christmas and it was weeks passed it. He had my oldest show him how to log on. Then tried to have her update his status. He put hell was finally over. He tried to get the oldest to type it…lol She was telling him no way daddy that’s a bad word…*giggle got to love him!

Shot of Reality

Dear ICU nurse,
Yes I spend my days off plotting ways to mess up your day by admitting half my patients to your unit. Ps When you have 5 nurses to help with your 1 admission and we have 4 nurses in total in the ER with 14 patients and more in the waiting room don’t bitch. I would really hate to have to bitch slap you.
Sincerely, Nurse that is tired of your bitching

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Dear Nurse who knows all, You constantly check my charting, my nursing ways and act like I am the dumbest nurse. When I ask you for help you snob me making me feel like I am a bother. But if you catch me doing something wrong your happy to point out the correct way to do it. Your true nursing abilities showed when you thought I was wasting my time reporting a possible pressure ulcer issue. Your smart ass “ that’s not an emergency and not something that needs to be worried about.” I am a good nurse! When you see your patient die because a “small” pressure ulcer that was over looked. Which became a massive ulcer that opened all the way to the bone. I care for the WHOLE patient.
p.s. I went back and educated the patient and family member on turning and repositioning every 2 hours to avoid skin break down. Also what to look for and when to report it.
Sincerely, take that miss know it all

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Dear Doctor Dumbass,
Thanks for yelling at your nurses. Telling us that a patient hasn’t gotten their anxiety medication that you ordered 30 mins ago. Hello there are 4 of us taking care of 14 patients. So who do we take care of first? Um maybe the patient with the PE or how about the shortness of breath. Not to mention the one in A1 that has chest pain. But I will be happy to get the effin ativan for the frequent flyer that just can’t handle life. Give me an effin break. I wasn’t going to rush my drug calculations just to drop everything.
Sincerely, get your head out of your ass please the rest of us are tired of your shit

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Dear little black dog, I reallly think you suffer from PICA. Because I have never met a dog that loves eating stuff that is not food. I seriously think your not fat just consitpated from all the toliet paper, tissues and miscellanous crap you eat.
Sincerely worried about you fatty mcfatty.

8 lbs lighter

Okay so I have lost 10 and gained back 2. But I am praying it’s the exercise of the biggest loser Wii and Zumba Wii. Aw Wii workouts. I am not sure if its any worse than having a personal trainer. Then again I saved a bushel with the Wii games..lol BUT…
If I have to hear Julian tell me she is sweating or out of breath I swear I am going to throw my Wii remote at the TV. Of course my daughter finds it funny cause she can hear me cussing at the TV that she isn’t effin real and shut the hell up. Like how the hell are they out of breath they are not even real. As for the Zumba really? People do this out in public? I remember my mom and I doing sweating to the oldies at home when I was a kid. I am so not coordinated. There is no way in hell would I ever do this out in public. If you haven’t seen the infomercials on cable or dish you must not watch much TV. It’s the new fad of video workout. Latin music set to a workout. Supposedly you can’t tell your exercising because your dancing. PFFT! If your really that oblivious you need help. I was huffing and puffing halfway thru bitching are we done yet? I still do like it better than biggest loser cause its not yelling at you not to give up..lol
It is fun if you don’t care that you can’t actually do the steps. The training section is a joke. If the remote even feels your hips moving it says great job even though I know for a fact my step were way off. So its skips to adding the next step. So I skipped the learning section and started the beginners section. I can either to the hands and hips or hands and feet. But all three I almost throw things out of socket. Hopefully I will catch on…lol
here is a video of Zumba so you can see the steps

So the good new is…my new jeans are falling off me. So I had to get new new jeans. Went from a 13 to a 9/10 hot dog…hell with the actually weight numbers. If the inches fall off I don’t give a ferrets anus. Well that’s my update on the fat front…till next time…kiddies remember…I love this carrot stick I love this carrot stick I will be thin I will be thin…lol

Weight loss tip of moment: replace lip gloss with super glue lip gloss…

Addictions: Gadgets

So some of the gadgets in my life I just love…hey I am a electronic junkie.

ah my Dsxl…bigger and better…for those old people that don’t mind having a bigger screen. Bigger is always better!! lol

My droid…does the same as the IPhone but half the price..who doesn’t love that?


My DVD player..that can play my next dvd of the twilight series…not to mention my Supernatural collection…ah the love of the supernatural creatures.

for the lazy people that don’t want to go to the gym..if you can get over the uhhh noise it makes when it weighs you…hey what a motivator right>??? plus its fun as hell

One of my new found loves... I never thought I would like this since I love the feel and smell of a new book. But its so convenient and I love when I finish a book of the series I can purchase the next book in 30 seconds instead of driving 35 miles away. They could improve the free books…but nothing good is ever free anyway.
Last but not least is…
My IPOD touch..the newest addiction/addition to my electronics…hello angry birds and zombie farm is enough to get addicted. I can rip my DVD’s from home and put them on there for my entertainment. The music isn’t as easy to look thru as my Zune but it has awesome gadgets that attach to it for the house. Like a boom box that has awesome speakers. I love the apps…the camera sucks they could have just left that off…but it came with it. Its slim fitting better than my droid making it great for my pocket at work…were I can update my fb, check out my tweets and always have epocrates when I need to look up an unfamiliar drug. So that my Electronic meme…what’s yours??

Here's your sign

Well I was one of the lucky nurses that got to work the holidays. One thing I really really got tired of hearing was…really I can’t believe they make you work on Christmas…um hey dumb ass it’s because people like you who have had that sore throat for 3 weeks decided to come into the ER to have it looked at. Some days it’s really hard not to slap stupid people. When people say you really have to have patience in order to be a nurse, they were not talking about the hard work. They were talking about the dumb people. Like the guy who really had no idea what fiber was. When I mentioned that his high dose pain killers cause constipation. The guy that had a bruise on his leg and wanted Percocet prescribed to him. Um sure let me hop right to it. Or the 20 yr. old with the “abscess” on his face. Um it’s called a zit. Go to walmart and get some Clearasil dumbass. I actually had a patient come in his military duds and told us this sad sad song about bringing his brothers body home. He left his oxycotin drugs in Iraq. Sure...what he didn’t expect was me calling his CO and finding out he was no longer with the Marines…let go for drug abuse. How sick is that? Then you have the holiday drama’s of the ex’s supposedly abusing the kid that was currently at the other parents house. Which never panned out to be true. Yes the holiday fight that started in the hallway of the ER and moved out to the parking lot. Police escorted them to the big house. Next don’t forget the how in the hell do you shoot yourself in the leg?
But mind you there are plenty of really sick patients. Like the grandfather that didn’t want to upset Christmas with his family so he put off the chest pains. Only to have a massive MI and die. The drunk driver that learned to fly thru the windshield and die. The stress induced heart attacks from the constant bickering of family members. One reason why everyone should learn to get along…or at least keep the drama at home. Grandma and pa don’t need to see your stupidity. Had a lady apologize for bothering me on this holiday. She tried her best to wait till Monday, she had a stoke btw.
But you will still get those low life’s that throw tantrums out in the waiting room because their abdominal pain is worse than that lady’s chest pain. Even though they have been here 5 times this month and all the tests done with MY HARD WORKING TAX money showed NADA…nothing not a damn thing you stupid idiot! I can’t wait…we are getting ready to pass a dental/ back pain specialty…no narcotics!! The next thing is making those frequent fliers pay the full bill if it’s a nonemergent issue. LIKE THE FLU. I ache all over and have a headache…go home to bed quit spreading your crap to us. To the lady’s who think we enjoy looking at your lady parts?? When you have abdominal pain 2 days after you start ragging…its called PMS. Take a Midol and get out your heating pad. Stop coming to the ER…and ER doctors stop giving them dilaudid for it. I know you are men and never had cramps but they can live just fine with them…the rest of the millions of woman have. So that’s my update holiday rant..

oink oink: time for a change

Okay so I have decided that I need to lose weight. Gaining 15 lbs from LPN school and another 10 for RN and 4 more just for the hell of it. When someone comes up to you and asks when are you due? Make me decided that its time to lose some freaking weight. I paid my dues and now a member of weight watchers. If any of my readers has used weight watchers tell me what you think about it. I also plan on joining the gym. I put in my foods that I ate today and i was10 points over what I should be eating. UGH...so I am getting off my fat butt and getting motivated to exercise. I will keep you posted on my progress...27lbs is my goal.

Deadbeats: sperm donor

Okay so I have decided that I have a Facebook stalking problem. I found out that my ex has a Facebook page. I found it accidently you know that side bar you might know this person. I think that how stalkers are made on Facebook. Lure you in…and then your hooked. Why Do I find myself looking at his page? It’s not that I care . I sure as hell don’t love him. Still makes me puke a little thinking I was ever with him. So why? Is it because I wish his life sucked? Not really I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to be a part of his kids lives. He can add his girlfriends kids on his kids list but not his own? Did I mention he has been married 2 more times after me. Has another kid he doesn’t pay child support on. And now he is working on the fourth family. Sterilization seriously needs to be reinstated. I thought a few weeks back the pic of him on new Harley was my last straw, especially since he is still 8,000 dollars behind on child support. It still makes me want to scream. WTH? I don’t understand how my brother in law who is disable is forced to pay all of his child support yet mine who is just a lazy piece of poo doesn’t? What judge is this chick paying off? *giggle* And how? But it got worse a few nights ago. Its amazing just how small the world is. She was not a patient so I can mention this and not hurt HIPPA. His ex wife number 2 was in the ER as friend. Told her she looked familiar. Yup she use to take my kids places when he didn’t come get them. My kids have a half sibling out there but I had no way of contacting her after they broke up. Apparently he told her I never wanted her and her kid anywhere near mine. I never said that nor would I ever do that to my kids. Regardless of how much I hate my ex I would never keep my kids from their family. They just choose not to be active in their lives. Apparently the small lump sum of child support I received in June was not disability from the Army. His grandmother left he a huge lump sum of money when she died and he gave a small amount to the kids owed child support. He paid cash for his bike, a Harley. The dumb ass used ex #2 address and the title came to her…lol
She told me she called DMV because supposedly he has no license due to be behind in child support. She tried to get him to sign his rights away. No luck he threatened to kill himself and raised Cain on her mother. I could be so lucky he would take himself out. Her kid wrote him a letter for veterans day and mentioned that he missed her birthday. That she loves him and wishes he would call her again. My kids are pass this point. They have more anger than wondering what they did to drive him away. He likes to lie a lot. Telling her what a bitch I was and he told many of our old friends that I wouldn’t let him see his kids. Hello we have a court order that he get them every other weekend and 4 weeks in the summer. Liar liar…wish you were on fire. GRR
So the good news found my kids sister and I gave her my number so we can get them together. Its been almost 5 years since they have seen her. How sad is that? How can you lie and keep your kids apart? That’s just sick and I hope there is a special hell for him. Its even sadder that I felt bad that he wasn’t working and I wasn’t pushing the issue of child support let alone giving up custody. All because he fought for our country. He still can seem to turn things on me. I believe its time for a lawyer! You have messed with my kids one to many times asshole!

Duh your a moron

Yep..see that patch there?  I need one. Why do you ask?  Because after going thru the crap of getting into nursing school see ( what's the point) and then sending out all the prayers and finger crossings see (wing and a prayer) and then ranting my head off about the whole thing..going to the dean or the papers (going down in flames) and then finally getting my acceptance letter at the post office and almost having a melt down (prayers answered and received)  I decided to do the stupidest thing you can do as a student.  Forget to pay for the damn classes.  I guess being sick made my brain into mush…that or the fact I laid on the couch most the day awaiting for the man to bring me my meds.  But at 1230…I sat straight up in bed and when CRAP CRAP…my payment for my classes…so in only my underwear I am trying to get my computer to upload and frantically trying to find my letter telling me the due date…course all the blinds are open but in my state of panic I didn’t notice…hope u enjoyed the view.  Anyway no luck on the letter yet so the computer finally uploads hours later..ok mins but it felt like hours.  And  I get on the site, nothing there tell me when its due, but it still shows that I am enrolled for class. I finally find the paper that tells me MONEY DUE MAY 11 @ no later than 5pm…shit!
I try to look at the amount due section on the computer. Sorry but unable to calculate your current balance at the this time.  Please call….okay yup I call at 1245am with a frantic message of please call me ASAP in the am…i want my classes and I can pay now over the phone.
I went to bed in a fit of worry and woke up and began calling the school at 7am.  No luck there are not open till 8am.  Great!  Finally get a hold of someone…yes ma’am your still enrolled.  Someone must have paid. Huh? Okay…I guess i got financial aid..no ma’am…okay.  So I repeat…I don’t owe anything and I am enrolled right?  Course now aggravated that I asked her twice…YES…okay,  So 5 mins later I call the school again and ask for Scholarships dept. Apparently I got a scholarship and it paid for my classes except for books. $610 one. So that saved my stupid ass. DUMB DUMB DUMB ass.  But you know it would have been nice to receive a letter stating that I got a scholarship.  Stupid school…stupid me…thank GOD he was paying attention cause i wasn’t.  Brought to you by a  !

Trauma One and Two

So since I have been working nights I have seen a lot of interesting things. Plus we are always short staff making it easy not to miss anything interesting because everyone is usually piled into that room working on the patient. Well we had 2 traumas come in with one doctor and 3 nurses on staff one of them being me. The patients that came in were drunk drivers that didn’t wear their seat belts and everyone was ejected from their seat. I took care of one patient myself that was gashed up, on a back board and still in his cervical collar. I got to start my first double lumen IV. It was a huge ass needle. There were 3 total trauma patients, one show up 15 minutes later. Its not that I wish for traumas to happen, but wow the thrill and adrenaline rush you get from them. There was excitement and terror feeling in my stomach. Especially when your in the room with the patient, one other nurse and a doctor who was floating between them. I finally learn to leave the paper work alone, get the allergies and the main info to rattle off to the doctor. The ER was put on stand still as we rushed to get fluids and get them in to CT to assess the damages. I felt like I was on that show on ER…here I was holding the neck in place and saying on my count…1..2..3 roll…wow…scary and thrilling. No time to worry about messing up just concentrating on what I was doing. Making sure I was alert and listening to what the doctor was barking out at us and getting those medicines pulled up and administered ASAP. What is awful is all those patients that showed up while we were so busy. The techs running around getting vials and making sure no one coming in was critical.
Another group of critical patients I have seen are overdoses. Which seems to be very popular around here. I have seen all ages from 16 to 75 years old. Most intentional others accidental. I hate those that I have seen twice for this. How has the system failed them? Why are they not committed? I have been in the room during intubations and placing patients on vents, to shoving charcoal down someone's throat…most will hurl stand far away…others will crap themselves half to death. By the way placing 16 gauge needles in are hard to do when the large bore needle doesn’t fit in a small vein. The other nurse had to get the line in. I ended up putting a 20 gauge as a second line. I have also taken these critical patients to CT. A nurse has to accompany the CT tech if the patient is stable but critical just in case something goes wrong. Well while I was there the blood pressure started to drop and I had to rapidly infuse some more fluids…while the tech said don’t worry no one dies in CT…I push them out in the hall…cute…not.
There is no routine in this job. You have to be on your toes at all times. There is no time to panic (still do a little…few deep breaths help..lol) I love this job!

Thrill and Chills of the ER

Wow can’t believe that I have been an ER nurse going on 6 months. I have been so busy that I find it hard to have time to blog like I use to. Some of the interesting things I have seen and learn are..
I saw my first intubation because someone ate peanuts they were allergic to them. Her lips were swelled at first and steroids were given to help with the swelling. I discharged her like the dr instructed but I told her to come back immediately if she had any breathing problems or more swelling. She came back an hour later. Her lips looked like someone had put one of those African lip disk in and her cheeks were swollen like a chipmunk storing nuts in its cheeks. She was scared when we had to tell her that we would have to put a tube down her throat for a precaution to maintain her patent airway. She cried and wanted to talk to her kids. I called her family and let her talk to them on the phone. It’s patients like this that need the comforting of a nurse that makes me love my job.
Finally learn how to hang and give blood. (still need to observed to make sure..lol)
I can hang heart drugs with confidence now.
I have some of the doctors trust and more trust in myself that I don’t have to run to the doctor for every little thing. I am glad some DR’s have noticed that I work my ass of too.
I have seen plenty of stupidity like the gentleman checking his gas level in his lawnmower with his lighter…swoosh 2nd degree burns…and even weirder with mayo on his face to help with the burns…roasted meat with mayo anyone?
I have been on a rotation that has the sitters club. A name given to those nurses that sit on their ass instead of doing their job. I have learn to stay busy enough and avoid helping them. Since they never return the favor.
Its amazing how desperate chronic pain patients can be. Even sadder that most are just drug addicts and those that have issues like chronic shoulder dislocation can’t get any pain meds because they have to learn to live with it? But the ones that have no physical proof that they are having pain can get a shot of morphine and go home with Percocet.
I am learning never to trust how bad the patient is from the EMS report until I have evaluated them…because their supposed 85% O2 sat or bp that’s 210/110 seem to disappear when they get here..
I finally got the guts to stick my first pediatric patient of 2 yrs. old. Did great with the butterfly needle and got my blood sample…I also learned I still need practice on actually putting IV in…still nervous and not well skilled in that department yet.
I have learned that even though some season nurses growl at you they are a untapped resource of useful information if you just listen.
I have also learn not to listen to the gossip and judge coworkers myself. Those that are usually throwing mud seem to be the ones that stink the most.
I have learned I HATE NIGHTS!!!! how the hell people figure out when they are suppose to be awake and when they are suppose to sleep I will never learn. Swing shift sucks even more…
I have been there long enough to be invited out for fun on days off with other staff…making me finally feel like I fit in.
I finally found my nitch…no more long term care this is where I belong now…ER nurse thru and thru. And despite at first getting burned out from the drug addicts and the wasteful use of my tax money, I have finally learned to shug those off and focus on those that really need my help. Those that say thank you and I am so sorry to bother you. Instead of those that yell at you and cuss you.