Saturday, January 15, 2011

Shot of Reality


Dear ICU nurse,
Yes I spend my days off plotting ways to mess up your day by admitting half my patients to your unit. Ps When you have 5 nurses to help with your 1 admission and we have 4 nurses in total in the ER with 14 patients and more in the waiting room don’t bitch. I would really hate to have to bitch slap you.
Sincerely, Nurse that is tired of your bitching


Dear Nurse who knows all, You constantly check my charting, my nursing ways and act like I am the dumbest nurse. When I ask you for help you snob me making me feel like I am a bother. But if you catch me doing something wrong your happy to point out the correct way to do it. Your true nursing abilities showed when you thought I was wasting my time reporting a possible pressure ulcer issue. Your smart ass “ that’s not an emergency and not something that needs to be worried about.” I am a good nurse! When you see your patient die because a “small” pressure ulcer that was over looked. Which became a massive ulcer that opened all the way to the bone. I care for the WHOLE patient.
p.s. I went back and educated the patient and family member on turning and repositioning every 2 hours to avoid skin break down. Also what to look for and when to report it.
Sincerely, take that miss know it all

Dear Doctor Dumbass,
Thanks for yelling at your nurses. Telling us that a patient hasn’t gotten their anxiety medication that you ordered 30 mins ago. Hello there are 4 of us taking care of 14 patients. So who do we take care of first? Um maybe the patient with the PE or how about the shortness of breath. Not to mention the one in A1 that has chest pain. But I will be happy to get the effin ativan for the frequent flyer that just can’t handle life. Give me an effin break. I wasn’t going to rush my drug calculations just to drop everything.
Sincerely, get your head out of your ass please the rest of us are tired of your shit

Dear little black dog, I reallly think you suffer from PICA. Because I have never met a dog that loves eating stuff that is not food. I seriously think your not fat just consitpated from all the toliet paper, tissues and miscellanous crap you eat.
Sincerely worried about you fatty mcfatty.

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