Redneck Man

 

Yes ladies and germs its that time again. Time to look inside my life of my afro-engineering hubby. My man can come up with some of the most interesting things…i.e. see pic of tomato plant bucket holder on my photoblog. He made a water slide out of a roll of black plastic…baby soap provided by me…since he thought i would be safe for little girls to use regular soap. lol Anyway his new project was the girls campout on the front porch. Why don’t they just sleep in a tent? Well first of all that would be too easy. Second he thinks the bears might eat them..lol I seriously doubt that they would…might upset the bears stomach…lol Anyhoo…I just had to take some pics of this interesting contraption now covering my front porch…thank God I am surrounded by other rednecks who probably won’t even look twice…here goes

this is from the entrance…they were still setting up the sleeping bags at this point

now you can’t see them

from inside their redneck tent…lol

Failed Drug Test

Ha Ha nothing like a title like that to get everyone jumping to this page…thought it was a joke did you? Nope I failed my drug test for nursing. Wanna know why? Well if you read my blog 3 hours and 3 shots to the ass later you would be able to deduct my dilemma. One of the shots was Valium and I tested positive for temazepam, which flags me… great. I explain nicely to the Dr. drug detector what had happen and he states that well diazepam doesn’t break down into that. So he continues to ask…Did you take someone else's medication. I politely thru my teeth state no sir I am a nurse and know better than that. Your not suppose to take anyone else's Rx meds especially narcotics. Its against the law. He continues to argue that I must have taken some one’s Restoril. Hey jackass before you go accusing people you might want to check your drug book. They are in the same drug family dill hole. So what did I get to do today…get my family Dr to send this arse my copy of my ER records…not to mention I had a few drug sites on hand just in case he wanted to continue to argue with me. GRRRR Some Dr’s seem to amaze me…how the hell did they get thru med school…but then again someone had to be in the bottom of there class right?

Germaphobe or Gross?

So here I sit in Outpatient waiting to pee in a cup for this lovely drug test for school. I have an appt. however they must have forgotten cause its 20 mins passed time and I have drank enough to pee in 3 cups. Lovely right? So while I sit there with my legs cross hoping pee doesn’t spew from my eye balls…I sit there watching the people around me. There is this little girl, turns 2 on the 4th I think I heard the parent say. She is sucking away on this dum dum lollipop. First thought going thru my mind is I hope I don’t have to do the heimlich maneuver on this kid cause the suckers are known to come off the stick. That is still not the worse of it. She drop it in the floor of the hospital. And the mother picks it up takes out a tissue and wipes it off and the child plops it back into her mouth. First off ewww. Now maybe at my own house the 5 second rule would apply. But in a hospital where people are sick, crap in the floor, vomit…ugh. Yes I know that they clean the floor with powerful products. But not every moment of the day after countless dirty shoes have walked over their clean floor. Would u let your kid lick the lollypop?

double gloved

I have a sick sense of humor…but it was kinda funny can’t help but share it.  Had a doctor as me if the patient had yet been checked for a impaction yet.  Me and my preceptor said no but we can if you need us to.  Nah I can do it but you guys can assist me.  Went in the doctor starts tell the patient what he is going to do.  We put on our gloves and he is pulling on a second set of gloves.  “ I always double glove…cause its bad enough when the toilet paper tears…and this isn’t even my poop." So he proceeds to stick his finger where the sun don’t shine.  When he removes his finger she farts a big wet fart and poop goes flying everywhere…and the doctor jumps back nearly tripping over the bed table to get out of the way…poop all over the bed and rail…just missing the White coated doctor…apparently…double gloved doesn’t necessarily mean your safe…the dr chuckles…”hmm i don’t believe she is impacted”…
Maybe a rain coat, goggles and double glove…hehe

Don’t not give OJ to your nursing books

I need a desk no if and or butts. Why you ask? Because I have the most accident prone child. If she can get hurt she does and if she can get it dirty she will. Last semester she spilled pop on my A & P Lab manual. That was sitting on the counter. This semester she decorated my Med Surge book with OJ. Thank God it missed my Health Assessment homework. Let’s not even include her own stuff or anyone else's that she has spilled liquids on.
So I have come to realize that the kitchen table isn’t the best place to try to do homework. The only problem is no money and living in a small home makes it hard to fix this issue. My current desk is a computer desk armoire. I don’t use the computer, cause it’s ancient and have upgraded to a laptop. So I gave it to the kids for their room…with the computer out I realize you cannot turn it into a functional writing desk. GRR… So now what? I search for a cheap desk that is small. It took me about a week to finally find something that wasn’t 800 dollars or the size of my kitchen table.
Assembly…this is where as the redneck turns starts…
I love my hubby and he is great at rigging things together and actually making it work. The problem is he never follows the direction on assembly of things. He wants to figure it out. Well the last time we put something together we had to take it all apart and turn it the correct direction…which made the project longer..lol
So his bright idea was to use extra glue to make it stronger. It took pleading to convince him not to due to previous issues. Thank God he listen. It took the entire family to put this little desk together. And yes at least once we had to flip something back around. So thank you for using NO GLUE…so an hour or so later here it is…Crammed into the kitchen next to the table. Its a tight fit but maybe it will be safe from the Super Spiller.

that's my computer cord going across…i type on the couch…

Pretty close don’t you think? Oh well

Stripped Lobster

Why you don’t let your 10 yr old apply sunscreen to your back. Mommy I didn’t want to get the straps on your dress dirty with sunscreen. Okay…not thinking…so I have 2inch strips of Bright red sunburn on either side of where my straps were. Thanks..lol Ouch ouch ouch!

Almost Caught the house on Fire

Okay so like I was saying in the previous blog the power was out yesterday. Well everyone but me went to bed. I was trying to stay up long enough for the power to come back on so I could set alarms and turn off all the lights. I was seriously thinking about going to bed…and figured that crap the lights will probably wake me up or not and run the electric bill sky high. Finally some time after 10pm…the lights kick on. Yup every light was on. I started back at the kids rooms and bathroom and flicked lights off and blew out candles. I then went out the front door for a min or so and looked at the moon came back in and the house was full of smoke…hmm to much to be the blown out candle crap there is a candle that caught something on fire so I am looking in the living room for a turn over candle…Only to find in the kitchen when the man took the food off the stove to the grill…he assumed I turned off the stove and i assumed he did. Apparently one of the kids assumed that too because there was a potholder on top of the stove in flames!!! So running to the stove i grab the only part not on fire and threw it in the sink and douse it with water trying to put it out. There was pretty much nothing left of the gloved pot holder. Had I gone to bed or stayed outside much longer the paneling would have caught fire and that would have been all she wrote. Grief…and none of the 3 fire alarms went off. And nobody even woke up. So guess what new fire alarms all around!

I just don’t see why it didn’t work…lol…okay I couldn’t help myself!
This better?

By Candle Light

Okay so yesterday we had a major short storm that decided to knock out the power in the middle of me making dinner and trying to do my homework. I called AEP and found out that it would be 10 pm before the lights would be back on. Great! So instead of cooking on the stove my man took over and cooked out on the grill, while I tried to do my homework via candle light. I felt like I was in the 1900’s. Sad part was without all the electric interruptions…phone…tv…computer…i actually got done and started on the next chapter…wow…hope next week its off a day so I can study for a test..lol

No time for me

Yep its all coming true when you start RN school there is no time for life. I knew that going to the movies and crap like that was out of the question. What I didn’t realize is exactly what that meant…so here goes…
No time to watch TV…thank God for DVR.
No time to read my new favorite book…I would never put it down.
No time to take motorcycle rides.
No time to visit with my parents who came in from IL.
No time to sleep…5 hours is a good night.
No time to cook or clean…thank God for my kids and hubby.
No time to play the DS…sorry Guitar Hero you’ll have to wait.
No time to down load new MP3’s
No time to see my daughters band concert
No time to see my daughters Dare graduation
Just no time…
Barely have time to tell everyone I haven’t die…I swear I will catch you online sometime Mejis
Barely have time to shave my legs…thank God
Barely have time to run my errands and pay bills…hope the lights stay on
Barely have time to get my homework done…yea 12 chapters completed, 120 Multchoice ?’s answered and one math practice test done
Barely have time to study for tests…barely passed my test but i am happy with a C
Barely have time to study for my math exam..due tomorrow wish me luck
Barely have time to read and catch up on Blogs…getting there

Making time to blog or I am going to lose my dang gone MIND!

I’m a Nurse NOT a Doctor

Okay about the cut on his head…does he go to the ER and get stitches? Nope why because he is stubborn and stupid. He has a 4 inch x 1/2 inch deep laceration on his head that is bleeding profusely. So since he won’t go I get to doctor him up…I clean it and i put some antibiotic ointment on it…and steri-strip it…the best i could. Hoping that it would close up. Corse I had to apply pressure in order to get the blood to stop long enough to get them applied. Which took two times. I had to redress it in the AM cause they didn’t stay well..but at least the bleeding stopped and he was still breathing and didn’t die of a concussion. Course who could sleep..not me I was checking to see if he was breathing ever so many hours.

So I told him not to take the steri strips off and not to get them wet…what does he do when he gets to work? Takes the off and applies liquid band aid…grrrr..what the hell? Can you not understand English? Fine get infected and have a great scar… it’s your body…I forgot you were one level above me on medical intelligence…a redneck doctor…