Thursday, November 5, 2009

This coaster ride of live…i am ready to get off please!

I know that live has its ups and downs…but lately I feel like i am getting a little sick to my stomach and I am ready to get off this ride of life.  Not ended it like in suicide more as in lay on a beach chair on a tropical beach and have some hunky waiter waiting on me hand a and foot.  Between school and my family and I think you might find me in the mental ward or

First lets start with the constant bickering. My girls are 15months apart and completely opposites.  My youngest is the girly girl, organized and apparently a grade level below in reading.

My oldest is the tom boy,  who never seems to comb her hair and her room looks like a bomb went off.  If you don’t keep up with her she will wear dirty clothes if left on floor.  She is unfortunately taking more after my ex than i wish.  I just found out she  got a F in math. 

My redneck man, who grew up with a mommy that did everything for him…possible wiped his ass is sloppy, constantly cusses, and had inherited the family pass time of drinking.
Now mind you I am no angel. I can be hard to live with.  I am a perfectionist, organized and can all around be a bitch.  Or at least my man seems to call me that most times.
So my dilemma is do I try to fix the family issues or hope that all can survive for the next 3 months and 5 days left before I graduate and pray no one dies?

My man is no help. He won’t take the kids any where. Not to band or church youth group. He works hard and thinks kids would do better if just left with nature and not culture.  Making him in charge of the kids education is scary and would be better off in my dogs paws.  He has taken over cooking but I think he did that because I have slacked off on it and gone to quick and easy meals.  That’s about all he does.  My youngest helps out the most and will do anything if asked.  But she shouldn’t have to do it all herself.  In fact the man has learned that and will inform me that the house got clean and most of it was done by her.  While he drank his beer and watched. My oldest…uh lets just say its never done right and most times you have to go back and redo it anyway.  She has struggled in school to the point that i had her test to make sure she wasn’t ADD.  Nope she was borderline.  So no help there.  My man is high against any drugs to help her focus.  Oh did i mention she still wets the bed?  she is 12. dr said there is nothing physically but possible age issues.  Meaning she will grow into her bladder.  He told me 2 yrs ago we could put her on meds for it.  Which btw is an antidepressant with suicidal ideation as a risk…so uh no thanks,  So reading most family blogs I see everyone else's kids excelling and skipping grades…what the heck am I doing wrong? we do extra math and reading.  But heck some of that math was 20yrs ago when i did it.  The teachers are a joke.  I mean don’t you think they should have let me know she was slipping in grades instead of waiting till it was on the report card.  This kid had be grounded from everything.  No videos, no TV, no overnights, and this time i am not letting her go to the dance.  I mean this has been going on for the last 2 yrs at least.  She knows she is suppose to show me the low grades so that we can work on them.  But i never seem to see those papers.  Unless i am there in class holding her hand and telling her what to do I am beginning to think we might not make it to high school.  Is anyone else out there having issues?
and as for the man that's another blog

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