Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Shot of Reality: People watching, Starbucks and Telephone calls

Dear lady in Starbucks,
This is twice that I have ended up sitting next to you and your 2 phones and computer.  For the love of God would it be possible to use your inside voice while your on the phone?  Not all of us want to hear your conversation.  Btw I was talking to you on while you were on the phone about your conversation hoping you would take the hint.  Congrats you just got up and when outside.
Sincerely Nobody gives a crap

Dear Lady in Starbucks,
Did you look in the mirror before you left?  Guess not.  4 inch heels and a short tight dress makes you look like a hooker.   A worn out one since that dress was not made for your jelly roll of a gut.
Sincerely was going to ask how much you charge for parties

Dear receptionist,
It didn’t bother me that 2 of you from the same office called to tell me when my appointment was and if I was still planning on attending.  But maybe next time make sure you have my time right.  The first one told me 8am and you 830am. 
Sincerely I am glad my droid reminded me of the correct time.

Dear Starbucks,
One of these days someone is going to find out what drug you add to your drinks.  Until then I will be force to continue to drink your Venti ice mocha liquid crack.
Sincerely I will need a loan at the rate that I visit you

Dear mother in Starbucks,
I think your 9 year old accidentally put on your 4 year old daughter’s shorts.
Sincerely and people wonder why their kids get abducted

Dear wide and weird feet,
I have spent all day on my day off trying to find shoes to fit your fatness into.  Why must I be cursed with short fat feet?  Figures the only place to find said shoe would be the mall.  Which charges me out the nose for shoes.  120 bucks for tennis shoes…these better make my feet feel fantastic.
Sincerely feeling a little screwed over


Leeanna said...

I love "Love Letters". Makes me glad I don't have to go out into public places to see all this unless I need to get to a doctor's appointment.

Ann Worthington said...

Considering where the Starbucks is located, maybe that lady really was a

Dark Mother said...

I think you need a coffeevention...kinda like an intervention.

Fuck it, I'm only on my first cup, that's all I got.