Here's your sign

Well I was one of the lucky nurses that got to work the holidays. One thing I really really got tired of hearing was…really I can’t believe they make you work on Christmas…um hey dumb ass it’s because people like you who have had that sore throat for 3 weeks decided to come into the ER to have it looked at. Some days it’s really hard not to slap stupid people. When people say you really have to have patience in order to be a nurse, they were not talking about the hard work. They were talking about the dumb people. Like the guy who really had no idea what fiber was. When I mentioned that his high dose pain killers cause constipation. The guy that had a bruise on his leg and wanted Percocet prescribed to him. Um sure let me hop right to it. Or the 20 yr. old with the “abscess” on his face. Um it’s called a zit. Go to walmart and get some Clearasil dumbass. I actually had a patient come in his military duds and told us this sad sad song about bringing his brothers body home. He left his oxycotin drugs in Iraq. Sure...what he didn’t expect was me calling his CO and finding out he was no longer with the Marines…let go for drug abuse. How sick is that? Then you have the holiday drama’s of the ex’s supposedly abusing the kid that was currently at the other parents house. Which never panned out to be true. Yes the holiday fight that started in the hallway of the ER and moved out to the parking lot. Police escorted them to the big house. Next don’t forget the how in the hell do you shoot yourself in the leg?
But mind you there are plenty of really sick patients. Like the grandfather that didn’t want to upset Christmas with his family so he put off the chest pains. Only to have a massive MI and die. The drunk driver that learned to fly thru the windshield and die. The stress induced heart attacks from the constant bickering of family members. One reason why everyone should learn to get along…or at least keep the drama at home. Grandma and pa don’t need to see your stupidity. Had a lady apologize for bothering me on this holiday. She tried her best to wait till Monday, she had a stoke btw.
But you will still get those low life’s that throw tantrums out in the waiting room because their abdominal pain is worse than that lady’s chest pain. Even though they have been here 5 times this month and all the tests done with MY HARD WORKING TAX money showed NADA…nothing not a damn thing you stupid idiot! I can’t wait…we are getting ready to pass a dental/ back pain specialty…no narcotics!! The next thing is making those frequent fliers pay the full bill if it’s a nonemergent issue. LIKE THE FLU. I ache all over and have a headache…go home to bed quit spreading your crap to us. To the lady’s who think we enjoy looking at your lady parts?? When you have abdominal pain 2 days after you start ragging…its called PMS. Take a Midol and get out your heating pad. Stop coming to the ER…and ER doctors stop giving them dilaudid for it. I know you are men and never had cramps but they can live just fine with them…the rest of the millions of woman have. So that’s my update holiday rant..

oink oink: time for a change

Okay so I have decided that I need to lose weight. Gaining 15 lbs from LPN school and another 10 for RN and 4 more just for the hell of it. When someone comes up to you and asks when are you due? Make me decided that its time to lose some freaking weight. I paid my dues and now a member of weight watchers. If any of my readers has used weight watchers tell me what you think about it. I also plan on joining the gym. I put in my foods that I ate today and i was10 points over what I should be eating. UGH...so I am getting off my fat butt and getting motivated to exercise. I will keep you posted on my progress...27lbs is my goal.

Deadbeats: sperm donor

Okay so I have decided that I have a Facebook stalking problem. I found out that my ex has a Facebook page. I found it accidently you know that side bar you might know this person. I think that how stalkers are made on Facebook. Lure you in…and then your hooked. Why Do I find myself looking at his page? It’s not that I care . I sure as hell don’t love him. Still makes me puke a little thinking I was ever with him. So why? Is it because I wish his life sucked? Not really I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to be a part of his kids lives. He can add his girlfriends kids on his kids list but not his own? Did I mention he has been married 2 more times after me. Has another kid he doesn’t pay child support on. And now he is working on the fourth family. Sterilization seriously needs to be reinstated. I thought a few weeks back the pic of him on new Harley was my last straw, especially since he is still 8,000 dollars behind on child support. It still makes me want to scream. WTH? I don’t understand how my brother in law who is disable is forced to pay all of his child support yet mine who is just a lazy piece of poo doesn’t? What judge is this chick paying off? *giggle* And how? But it got worse a few nights ago. Its amazing just how small the world is. She was not a patient so I can mention this and not hurt HIPPA. His ex wife number 2 was in the ER as friend. Told her she looked familiar. Yup she use to take my kids places when he didn’t come get them. My kids have a half sibling out there but I had no way of contacting her after they broke up. Apparently he told her I never wanted her and her kid anywhere near mine. I never said that nor would I ever do that to my kids. Regardless of how much I hate my ex I would never keep my kids from their family. They just choose not to be active in their lives. Apparently the small lump sum of child support I received in June was not disability from the Army. His grandmother left he a huge lump sum of money when she died and he gave a small amount to the kids owed child support. He paid cash for his bike, a Harley. The dumb ass used ex #2 address and the title came to her…lol
She told me she called DMV because supposedly he has no license due to be behind in child support. She tried to get him to sign his rights away. No luck he threatened to kill himself and raised Cain on her mother. I could be so lucky he would take himself out. Her kid wrote him a letter for veterans day and mentioned that he missed her birthday. That she loves him and wishes he would call her again. My kids are pass this point. They have more anger than wondering what they did to drive him away. He likes to lie a lot. Telling her what a bitch I was and he told many of our old friends that I wouldn’t let him see his kids. Hello we have a court order that he get them every other weekend and 4 weeks in the summer. Liar liar…wish you were on fire. GRR
So the good news found my kids sister and I gave her my number so we can get them together. Its been almost 5 years since they have seen her. How sad is that? How can you lie and keep your kids apart? That’s just sick and I hope there is a special hell for him. Its even sadder that I felt bad that he wasn’t working and I wasn’t pushing the issue of child support let alone giving up custody. All because he fought for our country. He still can seem to turn things on me. I believe its time for a lawyer! You have messed with my kids one to many times asshole!

Duh your a moron

Yep..see that patch there?  I need one. Why do you ask?  Because after going thru the crap of getting into nursing school see ( what's the point) and then sending out all the prayers and finger crossings see (wing and a prayer) and then ranting my head off about the whole thing..going to the dean or the papers (going down in flames) and then finally getting my acceptance letter at the post office and almost having a melt down (prayers answered and received)  I decided to do the stupidest thing you can do as a student.  Forget to pay for the damn classes.  I guess being sick made my brain into mush…that or the fact I laid on the couch most the day awaiting for the man to bring me my meds.  But at 1230…I sat straight up in bed and when CRAP CRAP…my payment for my classes…so in only my underwear I am trying to get my computer to upload and frantically trying to find my letter telling me the due date…course all the blinds are open but in my state of panic I didn’t notice…hope u enjoyed the view.  Anyway no luck on the letter yet so the computer finally uploads hours later..ok mins but it felt like hours.  And  I get on the site, nothing there tell me when its due, but it still shows that I am enrolled for class. I finally find the paper that tells me MONEY DUE MAY 11 @ no later than 5pm…shit!
I try to look at the amount due section on the computer. Sorry but unable to calculate your current balance at the this time.  Please call….okay yup I call at 1245am with a frantic message of please call me ASAP in the am…i want my classes and I can pay now over the phone.
I went to bed in a fit of worry and woke up and began calling the school at 7am.  No luck there are not open till 8am.  Great!  Finally get a hold of someone…yes ma’am your still enrolled.  Someone must have paid. Huh? Okay…I guess i got financial aid..no ma’am…okay.  So I repeat…I don’t owe anything and I am enrolled right?  Course now aggravated that I asked her twice…YES…okay,  So 5 mins later I call the school again and ask for Scholarships dept. Apparently I got a scholarship and it paid for my classes except for books. $610 one. So that saved my stupid ass. DUMB DUMB DUMB ass.  But you know it would have been nice to receive a letter stating that I got a scholarship.  Stupid school…stupid me…thank GOD he was paying attention cause i wasn’t.  Brought to you by a  !

Trauma One and Two

So since I have been working nights I have seen a lot of interesting things. Plus we are always short staff making it easy not to miss anything interesting because everyone is usually piled into that room working on the patient. Well we had 2 traumas come in with one doctor and 3 nurses on staff one of them being me. The patients that came in were drunk drivers that didn’t wear their seat belts and everyone was ejected from their seat. I took care of one patient myself that was gashed up, on a back board and still in his cervical collar. I got to start my first double lumen IV. It was a huge ass needle. There were 3 total trauma patients, one show up 15 minutes later. Its not that I wish for traumas to happen, but wow the thrill and adrenaline rush you get from them. There was excitement and terror feeling in my stomach. Especially when your in the room with the patient, one other nurse and a doctor who was floating between them. I finally learn to leave the paper work alone, get the allergies and the main info to rattle off to the doctor. The ER was put on stand still as we rushed to get fluids and get them in to CT to assess the damages. I felt like I was on that show on ER…here I was holding the neck in place and saying on my count…1..2..3 roll…wow…scary and thrilling. No time to worry about messing up just concentrating on what I was doing. Making sure I was alert and listening to what the doctor was barking out at us and getting those medicines pulled up and administered ASAP. What is awful is all those patients that showed up while we were so busy. The techs running around getting vials and making sure no one coming in was critical.
Another group of critical patients I have seen are overdoses. Which seems to be very popular around here. I have seen all ages from 16 to 75 years old. Most intentional others accidental. I hate those that I have seen twice for this. How has the system failed them? Why are they not committed? I have been in the room during intubations and placing patients on vents, to shoving charcoal down someone's throat…most will hurl stand far away…others will crap themselves half to death. By the way placing 16 gauge needles in are hard to do when the large bore needle doesn’t fit in a small vein. The other nurse had to get the line in. I ended up putting a 20 gauge as a second line. I have also taken these critical patients to CT. A nurse has to accompany the CT tech if the patient is stable but critical just in case something goes wrong. Well while I was there the blood pressure started to drop and I had to rapidly infuse some more fluids…while the tech said don’t worry no one dies in CT…I push them out in the hall…cute…not.
There is no routine in this job. You have to be on your toes at all times. There is no time to panic (still do a little…few deep breaths help..lol) I love this job!

Thrill and Chills of the ER

Wow can’t believe that I have been an ER nurse going on 6 months. I have been so busy that I find it hard to have time to blog like I use to. Some of the interesting things I have seen and learn are..
I saw my first intubation because someone ate peanuts they were allergic to them. Her lips were swelled at first and steroids were given to help with the swelling. I discharged her like the dr instructed but I told her to come back immediately if she had any breathing problems or more swelling. She came back an hour later. Her lips looked like someone had put one of those African lip disk in and her cheeks were swollen like a chipmunk storing nuts in its cheeks. She was scared when we had to tell her that we would have to put a tube down her throat for a precaution to maintain her patent airway. She cried and wanted to talk to her kids. I called her family and let her talk to them on the phone. It’s patients like this that need the comforting of a nurse that makes me love my job.
Finally learn how to hang and give blood. (still need to observed to make sure..lol)
I can hang heart drugs with confidence now.
I have some of the doctors trust and more trust in myself that I don’t have to run to the doctor for every little thing. I am glad some DR’s have noticed that I work my ass of too.
I have seen plenty of stupidity like the gentleman checking his gas level in his lawnmower with his lighter…swoosh 2nd degree burns…and even weirder with mayo on his face to help with the burns…roasted meat with mayo anyone?
I have been on a rotation that has the sitters club. A name given to those nurses that sit on their ass instead of doing their job. I have learn to stay busy enough and avoid helping them. Since they never return the favor.
Its amazing how desperate chronic pain patients can be. Even sadder that most are just drug addicts and those that have issues like chronic shoulder dislocation can’t get any pain meds because they have to learn to live with it? But the ones that have no physical proof that they are having pain can get a shot of morphine and go home with Percocet.
I am learning never to trust how bad the patient is from the EMS report until I have evaluated them…because their supposed 85% O2 sat or bp that’s 210/110 seem to disappear when they get here..
I finally got the guts to stick my first pediatric patient of 2 yrs. old. Did great with the butterfly needle and got my blood sample…I also learned I still need practice on actually putting IV in…still nervous and not well skilled in that department yet.
I have learned that even though some season nurses growl at you they are a untapped resource of useful information if you just listen.
I have also learn not to listen to the gossip and judge coworkers myself. Those that are usually throwing mud seem to be the ones that stink the most.
I have learned I HATE NIGHTS!!!! how the hell people figure out when they are suppose to be awake and when they are suppose to sleep I will never learn. Swing shift sucks even more…
I have been there long enough to be invited out for fun on days off with other staff…making me finally feel like I fit in.
I finally found my nitch…no more long term care this is where I belong now…ER nurse thru and thru. And despite at first getting burned out from the drug addicts and the wasteful use of my tax money, I have finally learned to shug those off and focus on those that really need my help. Those that say thank you and I am so sorry to bother you. Instead of those that yell at you and cuss you.

Shot of Reality: Gross

Dear Business Man at the local Bookstore,
I know you think no one is looking at you in your fancy suit, expensive computer while you chat "important" business on you cell. But when you dig your nose like a 4 yr old and roll it around on your fingers it kinda makes you look bad.   I really thought about getting up and handing you a tissue from my purse.  Especially since I was decked out in my nursing scrubs and then lecture you about hand hygiene and the spread of germs.  Like I said was until you wiped it on the comfy chair you were sitting in.  EWWW that made me gag
Sincerely,
Yes I saw and ducking behind your computer won't make me forget that

Beep Beep Moron

Okay So I have loved my job and I have been here for over 3 months now and its getting easier to know who to ask help from and who not to. Which are hard works and which makes you wonder wtf your a nurse? Okay so we have these nice but annoying monitors in each room. When their vital signs get out of wack an annoying beep beep goes off. Which causes one to put the shut the hell up button since everything seems to make it beep. But if an emergency vital sign shows up the beeping is louder and more intense. So here is the nursing supervisor pushing the shut the hell up button on one that is blinking RED and Screaming a emergency BEEP BEEP. So I ask have you check on the patient??? Um no she replies..(still sitting there)…has anyone else? No i don’t think so…(still sitting there) So I jump up to check on this patient (not mine) Patient not responding, I tried to get a pulse having a hard time, machine screaming pulse of 180, v-tach…so I stick my head out and yell hey i need help in here. No one…i see the doctor…that just come out of the room just in time. He says…um is that 7? He’s fine but did you take the pulse manually? Yea course in my excitement fear or adrenaline. I was unable…lol course I find out this patient has Parkinson and giving the machine a fit. I didn’t notice the tremors under the pile of blankets. Though I don't remember now that her hands were shaking when I checked the pulse. Hey I didn’t mean to over react. But I would rather be safe than sorry like the ass that just kept pushing the shut the hell up button. I felt like an idiot in front of the doctor..until another nurse did the same thing i did…lol o-well.

Monday, Moons & just plain Madness

 

Well Mondays in an ER are always rough.  I guess those that have a life don’t come in on the weekends to get their fix of the ER.  Mind you we actually had a lot of sick people today there were still a few drug seekers.  At any given time today we had at least 12 people waiting in the waiting room.  Most that were pissed that they couldn’t be seen for their sore throat, viruses or just plain I fell down complaint.  Nothing that really warrants coming into the EMERGENCY room.  Course those that were impatient left and then called the rescue squad to come get them.  Only to find out just because you come in by ambulance does not mean you won’t end up back out in the waiting room.  I can’t seem to get this people to understand that other ambulances are rushing in Trauma patients that were in a car accident and BLEEDING…or actually are having a heart attack.  If there is a patient with an heart attack we pretty much drop all that we are doing and help them.  So they hallway/doorway pace glaring at us while we are busily running back and forth getting the drugs we need to save a life.  Some are bold enough to state hello I have a football game or other NON-sick place to go.  Hello you came to us sorry we can’t bend to your ever living whim. If your so well to go to a football game why the eff are you here? I even had a patient come in that refused to be stuck by a needle.  Um stupid your in the ER how can I run tests to find out why your having chest pain if you don’t let us stick you?   Another came by ambulance and then decided she didn’t want to be at this hospital.  She wanted to be transferred some where else.  Why didn’t she decided that while she was on the ambulance?  You know so they could have taken her straight there. So I have no idea if it was a Monday from hell, the fact the full moon is right around the corner or just the madness of the mean…

Random crazies

Was in Wal-Mart the other day with the kids and this pregnant chick was wearing gaucho (msp) pants and a shirt way to small so it looked like a baby tee plus lovely flip flops….the funnier picture was the guy with her that was wearing a  motorcycle helmet holding her hand IN Wal-Mart…hmm maybe he was embarrassed of her?
Then while I was using the photo maker at the wonderful world of walfart a lady walked up to my oldest and said your an artist I see it in your aura.  She then decided to “predict” their bdays…which were way off and my oldest was happy to point that out to her.  I was trying to ignore her and kind of place the kids on the other side of me.  She continued tell the kids that they need to learn Russian and Japanese not Spanish because they will be ruling the world in the next 10 years.  Um can we say Cuckoo?
Then I had a patient that was having butt problems and the male doctor needed a chaperone.  You know to keep them from patients crying I think he touched me wrong.  He had to do a rectal examine.  When she pulled down her underwear this zippy baggy of weed looking stuff fell out of the crack of her butt.  She giggle and said don’t worry about what you found I was walking and had no where to put it.  The doctor was doing his best not to laugh…me?  I had to turn around because there was no way i could hide my smile…butt weed anyone?
Another patient was pissed because we wouldn’t give her a pair of doctor scrubs because she was on her period and had a dime size blood stain on her jeans.  Which by the way looked like she had rolled down a hill in them.  She was given a pad and explained that we don’t give out scrubs for that reason.  She threatened to sue.  So if I am not on here anymore she won the case.

you might live in a redneck town...

you might live in a redneck town... Current mood: amused
Okay I shouldn’t be amused by others grief but this was hilarious….you might live in a redneck town if…
I was grocery shopping with the girls since school was out due to the snow that melted off the road early this morning. We were leaving and getting ready to get into the turning lane when a truck came zipping by us and this chick was standing in the parking lot. At first I thought he was dropping her off but all of a sudden she proceeded to scream and jump up and down…well I got ready to pull out into the turning lane when she came barreling down the road…screaming like a banshee, with her hands waving up and down. She didn’t even look and ran out into the highway screaming and yelling. I got into the turning lane and she was still in the middle of the road jumping up and down like a kangaroo then zipped across the remaining 2 lanes to the sidewalk…where she then preceded to lie down and kick like a 2 yr old…still screaming that blood curtailing yell. I couldn’t help but watch and chuckle…no guy is worth all that energy. Lol …I think traffic was a little backed up watching her. I think if I was her guy I wouldn’t come back either. I wouldn’t want anyone to know I was with her… ....

Shot of reality: Old fart

 

Dear body,
I know that I am a year older this month but you really didn’t have to prove it to me while I was demonstrating to my youngest the difference between a cart wheel and a round off.  Apparently my wrist doesn’t appreciated the years of extra weight the decrease in muscle ability.
Sincerely, My wrists are sore and i hope they aren’t broken.
ps i promise to act more my age from now on.

Shot of Reality: I do nothing

 
Dear man,
Why is it I have to leave you a note on what to do around the house or what to pick up for the house.  No one writes notes for me.  I am sure that it would go over great if I stop buying you your shit cause you didn't write me a note…
Sincerely your wife not your mother

Dear boss,
I know I have just started this job but have I pissed you off already?  What the hell is with the 6 days of work, off a day and then 6 more?  Especially when one of my shifts was 4 effin hours?  I would like a WHOLE day off.  I know that I am fill in help but I didn’t know I would be working everyday.  I thought this was suppose to be 12 hour shifts...grr
Sincerely getting screwed

Dear Oldest who is turning 13,
Could you please make your bed correctly and not just throw the quilt over the bare mattress.  Also empty containers used for lunch don’t need to multiply in your room.  It’s not like dishes is your chore so stop hiding them in your room…sheesh  Mold is not the new color.
Sincerely, Grossed out mom

Dear Mother Nature,
I don’t know if your going through menopause but the hot flashes makes it hard to breathe outside…so you can send fall weather soon it would be much appreciated
Sincerely Ready for cooler weather

What did you swallow?

So when i was a nurse student we got to observe in surgery. And the day I got to go was amazing.
Male pt from correctional facility, object blocking cardiac spinchter (stomach for non nurses)
Was unable to remove by way of mouth ie. EGD due to rough edges may cause GI bleed
I got to see Breathing tube placement which was cool and then a NG tube that went into stomach to make sure that excess blood was sucked out.
We got to witness being cut thru the layers of the stomach...he made about a 9 cm cut. and one by one he pulled out 5 tobacco can lids.. holy crap...before he sewed up the pt. we got to see the small intestines...that was wicked...
I ended up having the patient on Med surge rounds later that week...i had to ask...while he was handcuffed to the bed...how in the world did he get those lids down...he stated that he rolled them up and tied them with toilet paper...and when the stomach acid hit the toilet paper they expanded...
I found out that alot of inmates do this to get a vacation from the joint...damn and i was complaining that some of my vacations suck

Shot of Reality: I do nothing

 
Dear man,
Why is it I have to leave you a note on what to do around the house or what to pick up for the house.  No one writes notes for me.  I am sure that it would go over great if I stop buying you your shit cause you didn't write me a note…
Sincerely your wife not your mother

Dear boss,
I know I have just started this job but have I pissed you off already?  What the hell is with the 6 days of work, off a day and then 6 more?  Especially when one of my shifts was 4 effin hours?  I would like a WHOLE day off.  I know that I am fill in help but I didn’t know I would be working everyday.  I thought this was suppose to be 12 hour shifts...grr
Sincerely getting screwed

Dear Oldest who is turning 13,
Could you please make your bed correctly and not just throw the quilt over the bare mattress.  Also empty containers used for lunch don’t need to multiply in your room.  It’s not like dishes is your chore so stop hiding them in your room…sheesh  Mold is not the new color.
Sincerely, Grossed out mom

Dear Mother Nature,
I don’t know if your going through menopause but the hot flashes makes it hard to breathe outside…so you can send fall weather soon it would be much appreciated
Sincerely Ready for cooler weather

My ear is leaking

My Cna comes out into the hallway to inform me that something was wrong with the lady’s ear in rm12. So Igo and investigate. I ask the patient what seems to be the matter. She then tells me that she was cleaning out her ear with a q-tip and she noticed that something black was coming from her ear. So I look in her ear. I can’t see anything by just looking at it. She then proceeds to tell that she tried the other ear and has the same problem with the left on. I ask for the dirty q-tip. Yep something black all over both of them. Still puzzled I was getting ready to get the odoscope to check out her ears.Till I glanced on her bedside table and noticed her q-tips in a cup with straws, scissors, pencils and PENS…i look in the cup…apparently the pen had leaked and the q-tips absorbed the ink. Viola mystery solved she was putting ink in her ear…no injury…though she was truly embarrassed

Doctor Dumb Ass

Technorati Tags: doctor dumb

My dad who hates the medical field finally goes to a doctor gets a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis.   So they send him to a specialist.  Who can only get him in 2 weeks later, not a problem.  The doctor had all of his files, films and even his daily diary of what issues he has had each day for a month.  He goes to the Doctors appointment and meet with the MS specialist.  He tells him that he doesn’t think he has MS, great news right?  So my dad asks him why do you say this?  Well no one at your age usually gets diagnosis this late in life.  So my dad asks him what about my scans and the problems I have been having.  The doctor says oh I haven’t looked at it yet.  I am going on vacation and we will me a month from now.  So another words there is no definite that he doesn’t have MS.  So he is going to tell him this without reviewing a damn thing and make him wait a month?  What kind of prick does this?  First of my dad never goes to the doctors it took the whole family including grandkids to get him to go.  I could just kicked this guy’s ass for this.  Its hard enough to get my dad to trust the medical system.  So my dad asks well do I still take the MS medicine?  The doctor told him yea just in case to keep you from getting further brain damage.  Umm what kind of damage is it doing if he doesn’t have MS you prick?  Plus we can already look back in his last 5 yrs where has show some signs of issues.  He just never went to the doctors!!! GRRRRR I wish I lived closer I would give that doctor a piece of my mind.  I wish that doctors got paid by the way they treat their patients too..

Bad night, bad shift

 
Ugh I hate being the small fish in the big pond.  Yes I know as a nurse you have to start at the bottom and crawl your way back up the ladder.  Oh what fun.  So this fill in shift shit sucks.  I work days, then nights, then mid shift…grrr….then i am on one rotation then another.  I might work  2 weekends in a row then off one.  Then the crazy work a day off a day work 2 days off a day.  By the time I get my chores done and all my errand run I feel like I got no day off.
Worse is the difference in the two rotations.  One has all the help and works great at helping each other out.  The other is short and has a couple of lazy people who won’t get off their ass to help no one.  Even to the point of us helping them to catch up when they’re behind.  Well not a problem, but instead of sitting on your ass while I am doing your job to help you could you please help me when my patients need something ?  That’s only courtesy.
Worse thing was the day on the lazy short shift we had 5 critical patients come in.  Who got one? Me the new grad, the one that still figuring out what we do first.  I had new meds, new drips I didn’t know how to do.  Couldn’t find anyone that could help.  Got fussed on by the doctor because I wasn’t doing it in her order even though I was told by another nurse what I was suppose to do first.  Then didn’t deliver meds fast enough.  I don’t give a ferret’s anus what that Dr.. wanted but I wasn’t about to hang Cardizem without some instruction.  I love the lazy one that was overwhelm too that said I am too busy I have my own critical patients. Thanks…  I was so terrified to give that digoxin since the BP was  88/60.  I sure as hell couldn’t talk to the doctor, not that i didn’t try. She could give a rats ass if I was a new grad.  This is why when your technically on orientation one should not be left alone with no help or ask questions to.  Its not the staffs fault its the one that schedules it.

New Grad news

Work has been aggravating and educational.  I was doing so well sticking people (IV’s) and the last 3 days I suck…just could not get a line in anyone.  I would try twice and have to get someone else to get the stupid IV in..grr.  I felt pretty stupid and bad for having to bother someone else to do my job.  So I mentioned that to one of my coworkers.  I don’t know if I just messing up the technique or just getting bum veins.  So the next thing I know every time someone needed to be stuck I got volunteered.  Which was great because then I was doing better.  YEA!  Next cool thing I got out of work late.  Why is that great?  I got to do my first NG tube.  For those not familiar with what that is its a tube that goes down your nose.  I did great.  The nurse that was training me on it said I did a fantastic job.  I was so proud of myself.  I love my job everyone really likes helping out the new grads.  Unlike some places where they eat the young for dinner.  I really got lucky.. 

Shot of Reality: Drugs, Dogs and Docs

I just love it when your a new nurse and a doctor gets to fuss at you cause you can’t do stuff fast enough.  Some of the nurses I work with baby the doctors by putting in their orders and setting up their sterile field.  That’s great if your fast at your job and have all the time in the world. I got fussed at by doctor cause I didn’t get blood fast enough from a pt.  She already came in with a line.  I was trying to get her nitro in her because she was having major chest pains.  I tried to stick her twice and I don’t stick more than twice.  I couldn’t get someone to help me stick her at that moment, so I worked on her meds and some other items. I can’t help it that I couldn’t get a line in her.  Plus saying well just try to stick a line in her.   Hello what the hell does” I have stuck her twice” don’t you understand? Duh
Hot dag! Finally a doctor stood up to a drug user.  The doctor ordered a dose of Toradol, not a narcotic for those nonmed people.  The patient threw a fit and said I can’t take that it gives me a headache all I can take is dilaudid (narcotic).  So I told the doctor.  Instead of getting her toradol she ended up with a 800mg Motrin…you should have seen her face it was priceless.  Then she started saying that the doctor never looked at her leg and her back hurt and she felt like she was going to throw up.  She said the doctor was a quack and she wanted another one.  So I told the doctor and she went in and said what is wrong with her leg.  And she points to this knot in her leg and a big purple and yellow and green bruise.  You never looked at my leg and I am in so much pain.  Ma’am your records show you were here 3 days ago for you leg.  That is an old bruise and you can plainly see that by the color that it is. Well your a quack she told the doctor.  The doc just told her that they will no longer be treating her long term pain problem.  That she must go see her general practitioner.  Well the doctor left and I was discharging her and she said she wanted to see some other dr.  So since I didn’t know what to do I talked to another nurse.  She told me to tell her she would have to check in again and there was a good chance she would end up with the same dr.  She told me she refuse to leave…I had to get security to escort her out…sheesh
Next I had a inmate that was being treated for a dog bite…apparently he wouldn’t listen to the guard was sprayed with pepper spray still wouldn’t stop and they had to sick the dog on him…what is with people…
One of the first things you learn as a nurse is never assume your patients know what they are doing or understand instructions.  Like make sure you tell a patient to take the pills by mouth or by ass…depending on what it is.  What I didn’t know was I had to tell them how to put on a hospital gown.  Ask the patient to slip into a gown.  I come in and she is fully clothed with the gown over the clothes…umm duh.

duh huh

After a long shift in the ER all I wanted to do was go home.  Of course this was the time that the sky decided to unzip and let the torrential down pour to start.  I was standing there hoping that it would slow down just a tad.  Another employee was outside waiting out the rain to get to her car.  She said “ I can’t wait forever I have an hour drive home guess I’ll have to run for it.  Then at that moment the lights went out leaving us in pitch black and the sound of tons of rain beating down on the overhang.  Freaking great now I can’t even see my car to know which way to run.  I wasn’t sure if I was parked on the right or left.  I did know that I wasn’t able to find a parking spot close and had to park in the back lot.  Well I was like her I got to get home I have an early shift in the am and I worked a late one this evening.  So we decided to made a run for it…while running I must have hit every puddle.  My nursing shoes were soaked and squishy.  I was darting hoping to miss the hidden deep puddles.  No luck.  I had to stop and try to make out my car in the pitch black night.  Finally spotting mine the furthest away i made a bee line to it.   By the time I got to my car I wouldn’t need to take a shower because there wasn’t a dry stitch of clothing on me. I looked like a drowned rat.  I was trying to get my cell phone out to assess the damage.  It was wet of course but still working.  My glasses were fogged up and wet.  I didn’t have a single napkin in the car.  I headed home and the ground was so heavy with rain that the road had about 4 or more inches of rain on it.  My car belts squeaked as they got wet.  So no glasses, wet to the bone, flooding on the road I had to drive 5 miles and hour.  This of course pissed of the driver behind me.  Which decided to ride my ass so close I couldn’t see his headlights anymore.  I really wanted to slam my breaks on.  I hate jerks like that.  So  I decided to swing by Mcdee and get me a late supper and sweet tea and hope the rain would let up. By the time I got through the long drive through line the rain had died down. 
The fries were nice and hot and I expected my tea to be cold.  Nope it was hot and gross..which then proceeded me to choke on my so called “ ice” tea.  Since you have no control of choking I spewed tea all over my steering wheel all over my arms and my already drenched uniform.  I couldn’t stop coughing.  Here I am driving down the interstate trying not to wreck.  Hmm sorry officer I didn’t mean to wreck but McDee tea was choking me and it caused me to wreck.  Hmm I can see the lawsuit case already…so if your drinking your “ice” tea and it has a warning “ice” tea might be warm and not cold be careful may cause choking.  Then I won my case…lol

how not to kill yourself/ your not dying

 

1. Do not eat an entire pill container in front of your wife. She will call 911 and you will be in the ER.
2. Do not call your wife on the cell from exit 66 and say you are going to kill yourself.  The police will pick you up and take you to the ER.
3. Do not pretend to have a heart attack to avoid getting caught by your wife while you are with your girlfriend. You will be in the ER and will be diagnosed with Anxiety related to stupidity
4. Do not slice up and down your arm for the hell of it because it relieves the pain. 
5. Taking and overdose of some over the counter drugs doesn’t do much but upset your stomach.
6. Clutching the wrong side of your chest and saying your having a heart attack.
7. Diagnosing yourself and trying to tell the nurse well I know its my kidneys cause they hurt.  I drank a whole gallon of cranberry juice.  When all the pain is directly at your stomach.
8. If there is no broken skin you most likely don’t have a splinter in your ass.
9. Coming into the ER because your dying and have never been in this kind of pain all you really need is an enema and a really big fart.
10. Ambulance rides don’t necessarily mean your dying.  They are required to take you if you call.  Regardless if its for nausea and vomiting or a true emergency.  So do us a favor and save a life…don’t call the EMS unless its a true emergency.  Don’t fill our ER with your trivial runny noses and bull shit thanks.

Shot of Reality: Drug, hugs and rugs

 

Legal drug users,
Learning how to legally get drugs really irks me.  I now see why ER nurses get burnt out fast.  I know that they want to keep the masses happy and their return scores high, but if a someone comes in monthly, weekly or heck daily, doctors its time to cut them off.  It’s amazing just how many people come in for pain.  My  back hurts, my teeth  hurt, my ass hurts.  Demerol, dilaud, and other legal drugs given.  So instead of hooking these people up with drugs I think it’s time for other pain management.  Another thing that irks me is that my tax money pays for all this. $400 a pop for their drug habit?  WTH? What’s even harder is that there are true people in pain that can’t get the help that is needed because nurses assume that they are seekers when they are not. So nurses are rude and sometimes cruel.  I was laughed at because I went to a doctor to tell the that a patient was in pain.  Oh that just so and so she comes in often.  She seemed to be truly in pain.  Was she a good actor or truly a patient? So I really try my hardest not to judge…but when we can look back at your history of visits just a click away it really makes it hard not to be…
Really trying not to judge or get burnt out this early in the game

Accident prone one,
Ah my oldest one that is cursed to be accident prone.  How can you trip over your own feet and make your big toe purple?  I truly worry about your ability to walk…
nursing my child back to health again

Brown dog,
You are not a cat! Please refrain from coughing and gagging in the middle of the night.  Better yet please don’t leave me slimy piles of puke on my rug in the morning either.
Cleaning puke is not my forte

Little Black Horny Dog,
I know you are in heat and yes I really need to get you fixed.  Stop trying to hump all the dogs in the house.  All this has led to is getting peed on by boxer dog and big black dog.  Did you not learn from the 2 baths in 2 days? And brown dog snapping at you and missing and hitting little white dog.  Which now has a nice scratch on nose.  Also little white dog continues to snap at you as you try to walk and mount her…hello she says I am a girl you dumb ass.
Nurse that needs to fix that

What were you thinking?

Sometimes people drive me insane.  What the hell are people thinking when they walk out the door.  hmmm what is the dumbest thing I can possible wear out in public?  I use to work for a big retail chain and you would see some of the weirdest people and their outfits.  I know you have seen them….the pj wearers.  Is society getting soo lazy that we are now going to shop in our pj’s ? Even coming in as a family in pj’s.  Then you have the 400lb plus people (no offence to large people since I am no skinny mini) but please stop trying to wear your daughters clothes.  You do not look good in  your boyfriend thinks I’m sexy shirts So working in the ER is another place to wear your pj’s but this girl that came in had her bed room slippers the pink fluffy ones.  Then to match she had on her pinky fluffy ratty bath robe on….good grief.  But besides clothes there’s the awful smell of B.o.  Had a patient state he got dizzy and almost fell in the shower this morning.  So he came here to have things check out.  Thing was he had matted hair that matted all the way down to his long Santa's beard.  The smell was so bad that when he left you could still smell him in the room.  So what did he bathe in a pig pen?  sheesh…

Blech

Okay so I have spent the last few days of work in orientation listening to speakers all day long.  I so want to get back to the ER.  I would rather be busting my butt than listening to this drivel.  Unfortunately the last time I worked in the ER a coworker decided to share the fun of her crud.  So doped up on antibiotics, musinex, Zyrtec and at night large doses of Night Quil.  What fun right?  I was hoping to get over this before work tomorrow but it doesn’t look promising.  So I am lounging on the couch watching movies and doing laundry.  Trying to reserve all my energy for work tomorrow.  While playing on my blog I notice that my moon crazy warning is telling me that its 90 % a full moon.  Which means the weekend I work i will be up to my eyes in weirdos in the ER…so hope to have some interesting tales then.  Off to watch Percy and by the way stay away from the movie Bitten its the worse vampire movie ever made..sheesh.

When life backs you against a wall

So I finally finished nursing school and have a great job that I love and life is great.  But as soon as life becomes easy or comfortable you get slammed up against a wall.
My dad is a very intelligent man and has been my go to guy when I need advice on life.  We never really saw eye to eye when I was a teenager cause back then I knew everything.  Now that I am older and realize that my dad wasn’t so crazy and actually knew a thing or two life throws a curve ball.  First this economy sucks and my dad lost his computer programmer job.  The company said they could hire 2 new grads for the price of him.  They would be more experienced in the new technology and be cheaper to have.  Problem is alot of the newbies don’t want to really work.  My dad always came into work early and left late and work on salary.  It took my dad 8 months of searching for a job to finally get one.  He was never picky applying for every job including Wal-Mart.  Where is he working?  A gas station in his local town.  What pisses me off is that has to make him feel degraded to have all that education but is now a gas station attendant.  Also having your neighbors ask you why are you working here daily probably doesn’t help.  No one will hire him because he is over qualified.  What the hell? over qualified? I would think getting a guy for half price would be like a great deal?

Next we thought my dad had a stroke with having right sided weakness.  He did some therapy and everything was working out.  Till he had a relapse and really lost alot of mobility.  His cognitive function has decreased also.  My father never said “I don’t know,” till now.  My brother said he stopped at a blinking red light waiting for it to change.  Alot of weird things that wouldn’t add up. He didn’t want to go to a doctor. He said he didn’t want to be poked and prodded.  I tried to respect his wishes. I live so many states away i was getting all this second hand from my mom and my brother. I kept telling myself it can’t be that bad.  I really didn’t have a clue just how bad it was till they came in for my graduation.  He wasn’t my dad.  He can’t walk up and down stairs, or keep up with anyone while walking in Wal-Mart, not to mention some of our conversations seemed like pieces of a puzzle were missing.  I finally broke down in tears begging him to please get check out.  Maybe it was another stroke or just a pinched nerve.  He could no longer ride his motorcycle, play the organ at church, drive the car, find a job, or other things he loves to do.  He was depressed…hell who wouldn’t be.  If you had everything you loved to do taken away wouldn’t you?  I finally got through to him.  “what if this was reversible and you could have a normal life?  Don’t you want to ride your bike again?  So he did his tests….and its not reversible its progressive. He has MS.  So here I am 600 hundred miles away and unable to help my family.  If I lived close I could help do the things he can’t.  Of all the people in the world why dad?  Not that I wish it on anyone but my mom could handle this better than him.  I want to go home and help. Just spend time with him before he can’t do the stuff he use to be able to.  I started a new job and can’t get up and leave right now.  Mom is devastated and my brother well lets just say he has his own issues right now.  I just want to cry.  If I could just be closer…to spend time with him before i can’t…i would go to the doctors with him.  They don’t ask the questions i would since I am a nurse.  What is the prognosis?  How long are we looking at?  Is the damage reversible?  I know my dad he would rather just live the fullest without meds and die before it gets too bad.  I want to respect his decision, but i want my dad alive too.  Is this selfish of me?  I worked in LTC and saw how the families would try to make their parents drag out their life.  Is this his depression or really a decision?  I feel like i have my hands tied.  I don’t want to lose the job i love, the money I need to sustain my family but I don’t want to lose my dad either…life can be soo unfair!

Learning

 
The last few days that I have worked I have learn alot of new things.  How to discharge patients by myself, how to admit and transfer patients and having 3 rooms by myself.  Even though I have 3 rooms myself my head nurse bales me out when I get behind.  Which seems to be alot sometimes because I keep getting new things I have never done.  Everyone seems happy to teach me anything I ask questions about.  Any where from how to to a nitro drip, a heparin drip, or simple things like where the heck do i chart this.?  I know it in  time I will get use to everything.  The nurses even giggle and tease me cause I still have the out of school positive attitude about the frequent flyers or TROLL. I learned  TROLL means To Return Often Loves Lortabs (painkiller). I even transfer a patient to CCU all by myself. I learned just how grouchy some people are…sheesh. One thing I really didn’t want to learn was life can be taken from you in a flash.  This was the first day I seen a Baby less than 3 months old die.  A code blue was called and nurses from all units were trying their hardest to get this baby to breath again.  I know I should have stayed for a learning reasons. I just like it was wrong to be in there.  I felt like I was more in the way.  I knew they would be asking me to help get items or to do something.  I knew I would have to tell them I don't know.  I am just in training.  So I decided to back off and  let the experience ones do all the work.  While they were working hard with the baby It kept all the other patients labs and med orders under control.  I was shocked by the callousness of the other patients.  Some standing and gawking and others yakking on their telephones.  Not to mention the all the complaints of "what is taking so long?" "Don’t you realize I am important?"  Even though I would like to shout at them " You have been here numerous times and have yet had anything serious enough for the ER.
The code was finally over and everyone parted ways. You could see the tears in the eyes of the family, the doctors and all the nurses.  It makes me realize just how hard this job can be. The next  day when talking to the nurses I found that most kissed their loved ones, their kids, and checked on their babies 12 times that night.  This job can be heart wrenching.

Shot of reality: Get a life

Jobs that try to find you on a social network,
For those jobs out there that have nothing better to do than troll facebook, MySpace, twitter or even blogger looking for “employees to catch” get a life. Its called freedom of speech. Taking comments out of context or people status is just immature. If an employee says your place business sucks then maybe it does. We all have a day that just doesn’t go our way. Some of us just aren’t chicken shit to express our feelings out loud. When someone says I had a bad day or a hard day…maybe they did…don’t be so effin sensitive. Its not like they even mentioned their jobs name.
Nurse that I can’t believe got a memo about not mentioning your work on facebook at work
Coworkers that backstab
If you ever turn me in for my status on facebook, hell hath no fury like a pissed off YANKEE bitch…
Nurse that’s all for dosing out vengeance if you mess with my paycheck

Medicare Abusers,
I really wish some of you that come in my ER would get a life. There is no reason you should be in the ER for a sore throat and sniffles. This is ridiculous there should be a law that doesn’t allow you to waste my tax money like that. Those that really need Medicare can’t get it or enough of it and the rest waste it to get free pain medicine for simple aches and pains. Which most of the time the cure is get off your ass! You should be a shame of yourself do you think we don’t know who the frequent flyers are? My opinion? Let make a special section for you where you have to wait 10 hours for us to tell you its called a virus…go home to bed stupid
Nurse that does pay her taxes

First day in the ER

If your looking for laughter today Sorry to say this isn’t it…
My first day consisted of a 800lb patient. I spent most of the day in there with him. I felt sorry for him. It was hard to understand just how someone can get that large. I don’t want to judge a person without knowing the life that they lived. This patient fell and was lying on the floor for a week before coming in via ambulance. The sister listened to the patient about not calling for help. Finally she called for help it took 2 hours and 20 some EMS crewmembers to get him out the door. The hospital wasn’t equipped to take care of this patient either. The beds weren’t big enough and there was no bedside commode to accommodate this patient. The smell of him was unbearable due to defecation and the urine from lying on the floor, the suffering of this patient due to obesity must be horrific. What kind of family member would not call?
It took 6 people to try to cath this patient…which consisted of using a speculum (used for vaginal exams )to find the penis. The stomach was so large it too 3 to hold it up. The patient was soo worried about the cost of the bill that he wanted to go home. Problem was the EMS refused to take him back due to the man power that they lacked at that time and unsafe house. So who the heck is right here? If they can’t take the patient home and the patient refuses care what the heck? I think that the lap band surgery should be included in Medicare… because no one deserved to be left like this…and this pt was no moocher…actually worked for a living.

Stress, Crying and It's all over

Where have I been..yea I know I have been neglecting my blogger. Been a tad bit stressed. I was getting ready for the boards. For all of you non nurses out there NCLEX boards is a test you have to pass. Even if you graduate from college as a nurse you are still not a nurse. The only way you get to practice as a nurse is take a test that can be as little as 75 questions or as many as 265. It starts out with an easy question and if you get it right the questions get harder. If you get it wrong it goes back down to easier. The goal is to answer so many easy, medium and hard questions. As soon as you do that the test shuts off…you could have done 75, 90 or all of them. Mine shut off at 75. Meaning I did really well or I was soo bad I failed. Then the next day you start looking on the board of nursing to see if you passed. This is a cheat way so that you don’t have to wait for them to send you a notice in the mail (2weeks later). You type in your name and search to see if your in the RN section. I kept finding my LPN license but that was it. Everyone else that had taken the boards the same day already new that they passed. I was devastated. If you don’t see your name one of two things happened…they haven’t posted yours or you failed. There is no you failed until they ship that letter. So I had my breakdown and cried…then I would be positive with the help of friends and then…cry again. I just knew I failed. Those questions were soooo hard. I couldn’t figure out what I was going to do. I knew I would have to retake it but where would I even start? I had already studied once before and it did me no good. I had to take some Tylenol Pm just to sleep that night. I woke up the next morning and told myself I would not start check till late that afternoon. I turn on my cell phone and start checking my emails and see if my man who was out on a bike ride had left me a text message.
i had 3 text messages: Are you up? Did you know your an Rn? I checked.
I was like huh? So I texted my friend back “what are you talking about?” She texted back” I check the site congrats RN” I texted back your kidding…you sure its me there are like 8 people with my same name…or its probably my LPN license. She texted back “duh i know where you live and its not your LPN.” So I ran to the computer and yup there I was…I just stared at that computer in disbelief for a good 5 minutes. Then it hit me!!! I PASSED I PASSED THANK GOD I PASSED…i texted back to her…she just sent back lol see! So now I wanted to tell my man first…i waited a little while and had no idea when he was going to get back from his ride. So the excitement was eating at me and lets just say about 40 people knew before him…lol sorry this was too good of news not to shout it at the top of my lungs…So I am officially and RN…and I start my new job in the ER on Monday! Had my last day at my work this past Friday….YIPEE

Christmas Eve A Blaze

Okay so I am very far behind but I couldn’t skip what happened on Christmas eve at work.  First we have to work either Christmas eve or Christmas day and they switch you to the opposite of last year.  This was my year to work Christmas eve.  So of course since half are on one day and the other half the next we are really short.  3 nurses 3 cnas for about 55 patients.  I would have loved to had just someone to answer the effin telephone.  Because if family couldn’t come in they were calling to talk to patients or to get updates on them. The sad part is most of these people you don’t hear from them until a major holiday.  Anyway it was an awful day.  I was the skilled nurse/ phone operator/ cna helper since we had 3 and many other tasks rolled into one.  I was behind on my skilled charting.  In fact I hadn’t done my 8am head to toe assessments openings.  But the rest of the nurses asked if they could help I told them to go home I would be done within the hour.  WRONG…at 430pm the fire alarm goes off.  What kind of idiot is doing a drill on Christmas eve.  Well no smoke no sign of fire.  The box says it's in the janitor closet.  So they check it out.  No fire.  By this time we have cleared the halls and all the pts are in their rooms behind shut door or in the dayroom behind shut doors.  Next we see 4 maintenance men and security from the hospital.  Then follows 4 firefighters and a police officer. Still no one can find this fire. They have the ladder truck on the side of the building checking for a fire on top of the building.  NONE…the alarm again sounds now it's in the utility room..and we can smell something burning.  We now have to evacuate 4 pts to the dayroom due to their rooms full of choking smoke. Next the whole wing of 28 pts evacuated into the dayroom on first floor and second floor. I have never seen people put into chairs and put into the dayroom so fast.  Not to mentions trying to come up with O2 for pts that needed it.  Or chairs for those that didn’t have any.  Don’tcha love budgets… Finally the fire is located…apparently it was a dryer with some type of plastic in it.  Causing it to overheat and the smoke must have been going up the wall and setting other sensors off until it started smoking enough to set the one off in the laundry room.  So needless to say it was 730 pm before I went home.  I was disappointed in the big wigs who didn’t stay to help feed patients and pass out trays.  It was 630 when the trays came up and not to mention no one had done there first round. So most were drenched…I stayed to help pass trays and do some feeding.  But hell I had been there since 6am and the big wigs got paged in when the fire hit the fan…so why didn’t they help catch us up?  They could have at least helped wheeled pts back to their rooms and help with passing trays out…heaven forbid…grrr

Redneck Lawnmower

Okay so the men on this redneck hill are always on lawnmowers…most times to mow in fact they kind of mow in sync. The 4 men of the hill will mow usually the same day. Some one will start up their mower and mow and then everyone else does. Scary i told mejis you can see how our men will age first you have her man, the youngest balding with a gut, my man with bald but slightly graying beard with a gut, his uncle more graying (or dyed hair) with a very large gross gut with man boobs, their dad Dyed black hair with gray chest hair smaller gut, no ass, man boobs and last his uncle, completely grey and white hair, balding not from shaving, 6months pregnant and completely deaf. Their tempers are very close from mild, severe with beer (our men), his uncle- always severe since his is drunk all the time, his dad talks grouchy (putting up with whiney or lack of sex) and escalate to severe anger when his sons piss him off, to uncle who only gets angry because you are not using the right redneck sign language. What is that you ask? Over dramatizing with you mouth or use of hand gestures cause he is too lazy to learn sign language.
Next we have the lawnmower riders: Where mejis’s man and mine use them for transportation of themselves and their beer. Well sometimes they transport children in the lawnmower wagons. The funny thing is its spreading to the children now. I notice my nephew and the neighbor boy have their own nonblade working lawnmowers and racing up and down the road and everyone's lawn. If we have family cookouts we have the lawnmower parking area…lol How sad is that? I even have a picture of myself and my man driving me down the hill after the Easter egg hunt. I really think for mejis’s marriage that she ride down the isle on one with her flower girl and ring bearer toting in the back wagon. That would be priceless.
Last we have the I run over everything you own rider: That would be my father-in-law.
If your trying to grow something it will get mowed down, flatten by wheels or completely destroyed. He has taken down our saplings, bushes and out DISH which wasn’t cheap to repair. Hence why we got our own lawnmower. His wife will even put up little fences which get bent in the process of trying to save the little flowers. Today…he took out their telephone line…yup snap the line in two…sheesh…look out!

Parrot Patients

Okay being a nurse you see and hear everything…and on a full moon something is always going on. The last full moon was exceptionally noisy, which is the title of my blog. It never fails on a full moon the patients that normally stay in their bed are climbing out and the ones that are quiet are usually loud. In fact while I was working I had 3 pts surrounding the nurses’ station because they wouldn’t stay in bed. One yelling “ if someone don’t take me to the bathroom I am going to poop all over, poop all over, poop all over (mind you he just went to the bathroom) Another was Hey…hey …hey…shut your ass, another… where’s the door where’s the door….another yelling from her room…help I’m dying …help I’m dying (mind you she’s being dying for 3 yrs now)…and last but not least the sound of the beeping of the call lights…that’s enough to drive anyone insane…let alone me. Its fun when you look down and you’ve charted pt lying in bed with 2 rails at bedside….lol makes it hard for my brain to think with all the noise…
It’s even funnier or sadder when you get home and you can hear all those voices to some creepy ass tune in your head….lalala poop all over lalala my ass….lalala I am dying…lalala can’t breathe again…lalalala beep beep beep….omg no wonder I get migraines…

Redneck Easter

I spent Easter with my patients. After went to my in-laws for the Easter egg hunt. Wow no Drama which was nice. After we left there my kids had their Easter and had to find 73 eggs…one is still missing..lol
The kids got more than they needed for Easter and my man got his own basket…me got nothing. My hubby proceeds to innocently say…”I didn’t know we were getting anything for each other…”
No dear I usually make my own basket and everyone else's…this year i just didn’t…sheesh
Oh and where is the redneck stuff you ask? Pictures are better than words
My man’s idea of hiding the Easter eggs
My Mr. Gimpy’s mejis’s man idea of an Easter basket

This is my Brain...

This my brain:

This is my brain on Nursing school:

Yes I know your fried and I am getting older but i am just 33 so please stop crapping out on me.
I really hate that you:

1. Cause me to look like a complete idiot in the Wal-mart parking lot looking for where i parked my car…10 mins later finding it 4 isles over from where I was.
2. Cause me to blank out and forget to take that 5 point quiz 2 mins after it closed online.
3. Cause me to be dyslexic when I type…and have to back space constantly
4. Cause me to drive my car to work when I was suppose to be heading to school
5. Cause me to wake up in the morning wondering why my alarm is going off at 5am when I swear i don’t have class till 9…and i was suppose to be up at 5am…crap, thank God I figured that one out before I missed clinicals.
6. For causing me to be sooo tired that all I want to do is Farm on Farmville because that’s all the brain cell power I have…how sad…btw anyone need a neighbor add my arse on your FB!!
7. Cause me to lock myself out of my work locker.
8. Cause me to forget to chart important stuff till I get home and lay down to sleep…thanks
9. Cause me to have blogger writers block and cause me to write about my brain…how sad…

ZZaaap!

Okay so my brother law has gotten some new lights for his bike that only half work. Well it drives my hubby batty when things don’t work and so he decided to fix the bike. Mind you even though my man is a redneck he knows more about vehicles and bikes than he lets on. Mainly because he doesn’t like working on mechanical crap. Anyhow…i was visiting my sister-in-law hey by law after so many years she becomes sister-in-law ..lol anyway i went to check on the boys. My man had a wire to the lights and his brother was sticking it to the battery to see if they got the connection right. Apparently my brother-in-law was getting slowly zapped by the juice…and was stating hurry up i am getting zapped. My hubby who loves to aggravate his brother says just a few more minutes (the lights were on btw) i just about have it…the dumbarse stood there and held the wires a little longer…lol
Course my man was grinning ear to ear while his brother complained that from his hand to his elbow was tingling..lol sheesh…redneck brothers

Ready to get off this roller coaster of life

I know that live has its ups and downs…but lately I feel like i am getting a little sick to my stomach and I am ready to get off this ride of life. Not ended it like in suicide more as in lay on a beach chair on a tropical beach and have some hunky waiter waiting on me hand a and foot. Between school and my family and I think you might find me in the mental ward or jail..lol

First lets start with the constant bickering. My girls are 15months apart and completely opposites. My youngest is the girly girl, organized and apparently a grade level below in reading.

My oldest is the tom boy, who never seems to comb her hair and her room looks like a bomb went off. If you don’t keep up with her she will wear dirty clothes if left on floor. She is unfortunately taking more after my ex than i wish. I just found out she got a F in math.

My redneck man, who grew up with a mommy that did everything for him…possible wiped his ass is sloppy, constantly cusses, and had inherited the family pass time of drinking.
Now mind you I am no angel. I can be hard to live with. I am a perfectionist, organized and can all around be a bitch. Or at least my man seems to call me that most times.
So my dilemma is do I try to fix the family issues or hope that all can survive for the next 3 months and 5 days left before I graduate and pray no one dies?

My man is no help. He won’t take the kids any where. Not to band or church youth group. He works hard and thinks kids would do better if just left with nature and not culture. Making him in charge of the kids education is scary and would be better off in my dogs paws. He has taken over cooking but I think he did that because I have slacked off on it and gone to quick and easy meals. That’s about all he does. My youngest helps out the most and will do anything if asked. But she shouldn’t have to do it all herself. In fact the man has learned that and will inform me that the house got clean and most of it was done by her. While he drank his beer and watched. My oldest…uh lets just say its never done right and most times you have to go back and redo it anyway. She has struggled in school to the point that i had her test to make sure she wasn’t ADD. Nope she was borderline. So no help there. My man is high against any drugs to help her focus. Oh did i mention she still wets the bed? she is 12. dr said there is nothing physically but possible age issues. Meaning she will grow into her bladder. He told me 2 yrs ago we could put her on meds for it. Which btw is an antidepressant with suicidal ideation as a risk…so uh no thanks, So reading most family blogs I see everyone else's kids excelling and skipping grades…what the heck am I doing wrong? we do extra math and reading. But heck some of that math was 20yrs ago when i did it. The teachers are a joke. I mean don’t you think they should have let me know she was slipping in grades instead of waiting till it was on the report card. This kid had be grounded from everything. No videos, no TV, no overnights, and this time i am not letting her go to the dance. I mean this has been going on for the last 2 yrs at least. She knows she is suppose to show me the low grades so that we can work on them. But i never seem to see those papers. Unless i am there in class holding her hand and telling her what to do I am beginning to think we might not make it to high school. Is anyone else out there having issues?
and as for the man that's another blog

what the hell?

So where did you get your teaching license? Sears? Crackerjack box? Just curious. I mean you would think if a program has been running for a long time, they would know what’s going on right? That they would be somewhat organized and knowledgeable?
Ah No, hell no, more like disorganized and not knowing the ass from a hole in the ground. Here’s my schedule
Mon- 1030 get pt assignments from hospital and start paperwork for clinicals

1-4 class
430-? go back to the hospital and finish pt assignment
At home working on lab values, meds, and more pt assignment worksheets
Tues- clinicals 6am-5pm
Wed Pharmacy 9am-1105
Nursing class-1-4
Thursday- preceptor hours if they every find me one
Friday- work one week of the next
Sat- work one week of the next
Sundays- work 6am- 5pm
So on the rotating days that i don’t work or nights after all this crap i have to squeeze in 2 group projects (and meet to work on), 2 Sims labs, 72 hours preceptor hours, weekly online dimensions quizzes and activities, about every two weeks a test in nursing 222 and finally one nursing care plan. So why do they wait till the last semester to cram it all in? Why don’t they have the preceptors picked out before spring semester, and why the hell couldn’t i have done some of these preceptor hours during Christmas 3 week breaks…or hell let us know in advance about stuff we could work on during break. What is with the emails 10pm emails dealing with whatever is going on the next day. That's not a whole lot of notice. This program is such chaos…but it still has a great pass rate compare to other schools…how the heck? how can i meet with the people in my group if they are on the opposite class and clinical rotations? This program needs to get their head out of their ass

Gadgets I love

So some of the gadgets in my life I just love…hey I am a electronic junkie.

ah my Dsxl…bigger and better…for those old people that don’t mind having a bigger screen.  Bigger is always better!! lol

My droid…does the same as the IPhone but half the price..who doesn’t love that?


My DVD player..that can play my next dvd of the twilight series…not to mention my Supernatural collection…ah the love of the supernatural creatures.

for the lazy people that don’t want to go to the gym..if you can get over the uhhh noise it makes when it weighs you…hey what a motivator right>??? plus its fun as hell

One of my new found loves... I never thought I would like this since I love the feel and smell of a new book.  But its so convenient and I love when I finish a book of the series I can purchase the next book in 30 seconds instead of driving 35 miles away.  They could improve the free books…but nothing good is ever free anyway.
Last but not least is…
My IPOD touch..the newest addiction/addition to my electronics…hello angry birds and zombie farm is enough to get addicted.  I can rip my DVD’s from home and put them on there for my entertainment.  The music isn’t as easy to look thru as my Zune but it has awesome gadgets that attach to it for the house.  Like a boom box that has awesome speakers.  I love the apps…the camera sucks they could have just left that off…but it came with it.  Its slim fitting better than my droid making it great for my pocket at work…were I can update my fb, check out my tweets and always have epocrates when I need to look up an unfamiliar drug.  So that my Electronic meme…what’s yours??