Dear alcoholics

This post is dedicated to all the patients that come in drunk

Dear College Drunk,

Yes every year about this time you come in intoxicated, nearly dead, and usually injured.  Please realize you are new to drinking and you should pace yourself until you figure out your limit.  Why you ask?  Because if not you will die because your friends are too stupid to lay you on your side.  It's called aspiration on your own vomit.  Or how about out cold in the cold.  Its called hypothermia.  And last but not least a glass coffee table is not your friend when you decide to take a nose dive smack in the middle of it.

Sincerely,

Learn your limits dumbass

Dear Dead beat mom,

Make sure your kids are not home when you decided to come in by ambulance.   Tripping and falling and cutting your face to pieces will automatically get you an ETOH level.  Telling us that no one is home with your kids will also get you a call to the DSS.  

Sincerely,  your children are now in foster care

Dear Old man drunk,

No I do not want to climb in bed with you.  Nor do I think you are sexy.  Barf on your shirt, piss on your pants, the smell of alcohol on your breath and the fact you look like a hobo does not turn me on.

Sincerely, you are not sexy and I know it

Dear Mean Drunk,

Telling me you have no idea why your here and you just want to go home make me want to smack the shit out of you.  You are the one that called 911.  That is why you are here.  Why do I have to constantly tell you to get back in bed before you rip out your IV?  Hello do you want a bigger hole in your arm?  Wonderful there is now a trail of blood down the hall way where you yank your line out.  Aw darn you left the ER by eloping.

Sincerely, called the law they are picking you up and taking you in for drunk in public.  Your welcome

Dear Sir you are not having a stroke,

Your alcohol level is 3 times the limit.  Not sure why you have slurred speech?  Are you kidding me?  It's called being drunk dumb ass

Sincerely you sir are in major denial

Dear ETOH aka Drunk patient,

Your nurses love playing the game  who can guess your alcohol level the closest.  

Sincerely

Yea we have no life and apparently you don't either.

Here piggy piggy: weight loss tips

Just thought I would share some funny Weight loss tips and humor

Here piggy piggy

Yup it's that time again.  So I have become a member of the myfitnesspal.com and love it so far.  I love when  I put in my calories for the day and it tell me in 5 weeks if you eat like this you will weigh... and it puts your weight.  Which lately has been saying a weight I haven't seen in over 8 years.  I have lost 7 pounds since i got back on track.  The cool thing is I finally got the nerve enough to weight at the gym.  I knew I wasn't at the last weight I weigh in just yet but I wanted to know my muscle mass.  So I had to get on that dreaded scale.   Found out I was 6 pounds from my weight that I was in April earlier this year sad I know.  But the good new is that I have more muscle weight now than back when I was skinnier.  The gym guy told me I was technically only 2 pound heavier fat wise (BMI) now.  So even though I weigh more I have more muscle  weight.  That is awesome.  Here is a pic to explain:  Gross I know

So I am pretty proud of myself.  

What do we do now??

Yea I have to join the band wagon since it’s everywhere.  This year will be know as the year the Twinkie died.  Don’t get me wrong I love the Twinkie.  I can’t eat it now that I have dieting but it’s part of my childhood.  I remember eating them afterschool and in my school lunch.  The best way to eat them?  Frozen.  Freaking awesome!
The sad part is I never knew these things had the shelf life of forever.  So apparently people are buying these golden cakes up.  To store for later?  To share with grandchildren in years to come?  To enjoy slowly till you run out?  I think not to sell on EBAY duh.  These suckers are going for as much as 60 bucks a box.  Imagine what they will be when they get more scarce?      Who needs stock when you have boxes of Twinkies to sell?
What a sad world we live in.

Here Piggy Piggy: get off your ass

So I had done so well …lost 20 pound then was out for my neck/back and gained most of it back.  Then was just too lazy to get off my butt to do anything about it.  Sad part is I even have a gym membership.  But every time I would get ready to go to the gym I made up some excuse to put it off.  Until another month went by.  So after finally getting one size away from my “fat” jeans I decided that I was going to get back in shape if it killed me.   It first started out as weighing with 2 other nurses at work, getting back to the gym and eating right.  I was barely getting anywhere.  My mom on the other hand had lost 12 pounds already. I hadn’t done that well except when I was on Weight watcher, but who the heck can afford to stay on WW?  She then told me about this website that helps you count calories and it’s free.  Yea ok it probably sucks but sure I had to check it out.  The website ran almost parallel to weight watcher and it was free.  The only difference was one was points and this one was counting calories.  You simply put in your weight, activity level and your goal weight and then how many pounds a week you want to lose.  Then it calculates how many calories a day you can have in order to reach your goal.  I have been using it for about 1 week and lost 2 lbs. so I will continue using it.  You can even put in your exercises, like cardio, house cleaning, mowing, etc.  Then it will tell you how many calories you have burned and that get’s added to you daily allowance.  Which pretty much means if you want that pizza hut pizza just exercise a little more to give you more calories for the day.  So I don’t feel like I am keeping myself from the food I love.  The other thing that is great is that when I exercise my ass off I seriously think  hmmm is that chocolate chip cookie worth all that sweat and pain?  Not usually so I choose to eat a healthier snack or maybe just a couple of cookies instead of 4.  Here is the website.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/
My 10 yr. anniversary will be next year and my goal is to lose enough weight to look great in a swim suit.
So My piggy piggy blogging will continue.

What is wrong with me?

I could blame the house but I won’t.  I have let Halloween pass by me this year. SHAME ON ME.  I usually take the day off and spend it with my kids.  But with the time off I took for my back, the house and my mom coming to visit last weekend I just simply forgot or figured I have no more vacation time.  I also usually spend this time bombarding my blogger with Halloween facts, fun and spooky posts.  Not this year.  This is still my favorite time of the year and I guess I will have to make it up next year.  I am not sure if its burn out  or writers block but it just seems like lately I haven’t wanted or needed to blog.  I still lurk and read other people blogs.  I usually read them from my phone which makes it hard to comment.  I am hoping to spit out a few blogs before Halloween.  I just need to get the blogger bug again…lol

I hope everyone is enjoying their fall.  I love this time of year, jeans so you don’t have to shave as much, jackets, Starbucks hot coffee because I am not an addict, Fuzzy  socks, Fuzzy blankets so I can hide under it and avoid housework,  lazy days snuggling with the fuzzy dogs, and seeing the fall colors.  I could do with out the crazy stink bug infestations and lady bug invasion.  Even the dogs don’t want to eat them…lol

House of Horrors: Update

So at the last moment they told us that we had to move out of the tin can.  We had 3 days to do it.  I had to get some people at work cover for me so I could have some time off.  With the help of neighbors and family we got everything moved.  We had to stay in the new place and walk across the field to use the bathroom and take showers.  The next day they had the water on.  But not after the idiot put the wrong size piece on and we had to get the neighbor hood plumber to fix it.  We had the walk through and they are to fix the issues in the next couple of weeks.  The guttering is completed, water is hooked up, decks are almost done.  We are waiting for them to get the roofs on the decks, grading guy to come grade some issues and lay gravel in drive and last still waiting on water guys to bury the water pipes.  The rain has hider a lot of these things.  I wish it would rain a down pour and be over with it.  This rain an hour and no rain for 2 hours is annoying as crap.  We have most of the dog kennels moved.  A lot of the stuff is unpacked.  Even though this place is much bigger I am having difficulty finding homes for everything.  The old home had deeper cabinets and they had shelves in them.  These are much taller but lack shelves.  How dumb is that?  So whenever the man gets done with the man stuff outside he has to place some shelves.  I hate the mud.  Any suggestion on how to get the grass to grow faster?
Biggest annoyance?  My father in law.  He wants to know why I haven’t helped the man outside with the clean up and dog pens?  Um I am working on all the shit in the house.  Like unpacking and moving things around trying to figure out where shit is going to go.  Not to mention the 50 times I have had to mop, vacuum and clean up after everyone.  WTF.  So he is helping him.  You know my mother in law could help me unpack or clean.  I know my mom would help if she was here.  Well she actually volunteer to drive 600 miles and stay a couple of nights to help.  I told her it was much appreciate but not very practical.
Oh the suck up guy from work…helped install my surround sound system weird huh?  My other coworker mention to me why the heck is he sucking up to you so bad?  I can see the brown on his nose.  I have no idea why.  Unless someone told him I was looking for a new job.  I guess that could be a possibility.  Who knows.  Well time to get back to unpacking…ugh
Oh yea WE HAVE THE KEY TO THE HOME NOW!!!

Thou shall suck up

 I think he knows that he screwed up.  He was super sucking up. Helping me with my rooms, discharging my patients and offering to take them up during an admission.  I am not sure if he is truly sorry or just afraid I might tell on him.  Sorry started rambling.  The charge nurse that has upset me from the last few posts is who I am referring too. I though I would be able to just let it go but I am still hurt and find myself second guessing myself.  Worse than I ever did.  GRRR.

 Do you think that sometimes the work relationship can't be fixed?
So with that in mind I decided to go ahead and put in for a couple PRN positions and leave it in God's hands.  If I get them then maybe it's a sign that I need to move on.  Since I never really got the trauma bug were I constantly want to be in the Codes or Traumas like everyone else.  Maybe the ER isn't my niche.

So with that in mind I decided to put in for OB.  I am not sure that I will get the OB since I really don't have much experience.  I did really love my rounds through OB when I was in school.  However I did put in for the local ER which is smaller and less crazy.  Maybe a lower level trauma center is what I need.  Then I can be a bigger fish in a small pond...lol   Well I shall keep you in the loop.

I have mention my moving ideas to my closest coworkers who don't want me to leave but completely understand why I want to move on.  I just hope I am making the right decisions.  It would be nice to make more money and work less days.  I know money isn't everything but having more time with the kids would be.

Grind my Gear: Stewing

So I really thought I would be over the whole charge thing.  Before I go back to work.  Nope I have gone from sad to really pissed off.  At least I have the support of some fellow nurses who mention that they have lost a lot of respect for him now.  I haven’t gotten back to work yet to face him yet.  I am not sure how I am going to handle this.  Will I cry?  Get pissed off and lose my job?  Take him a side and tell him he should help his coworkers become more confident in their job instead of pointing out their faults.  Or one of the 6 other things that have been stewing in my head.  I have tried to let it go but I can’t.  I am truly hurt.  I have really been thinking about going PRN and drop full time.  More time with the kids and more money.  No benefits but I get them with my husband job anyway.  I just loved my rotation.  We work well together and a couple of them have become really good friends of mine.  I really don’t want to lose that type of working relationship.  But it makes it hard to work when you stew about the lazy asshole that isn’t doing their job.  However the other rotation is worse when it comes to that.  I don’t know what to do.  But I do know that PRN is really starting to sound great.

Some charge nurse

So we had a really rough day right before our weekend off was about to start.  Remember me telling you about the lazy charge.  The one we have been dealing with for months.  Well he went from lazy to full fledge asshole.  We had a patient that was being coded for over 3 hours.  She would die and we would bring her back on and off.  She looked like crap when she came and progressively got worse.  I was unable to get a line in her so the Dr called the charge to come help.  He is really good at getting lines in.  In fact I dub him the “vein” whisperer. 
When she crashed the first time I was triage one out in triage.  One of the other nurses was triaging a shortness of breath from the EMS.  The code was called and the Nurse K asked me to finish the triage in the room because her o2 sats were 80%.  I just finished triaging the abdominal pain.  But as soon as I started to head back I got a pediatric shortness of breath.  I had to do a scan “triage”  He wasn’t blue, he was labored breathing or showing signs of distress.  I did a quick o2 monitor and it read 98%.  So I told them I would be back that we had a crisis in the back.  I went and finished the elderly lady’s triage.  Put her on o2 and got a line and blood sent.  They were done coding the other patient and Nurse K asked what she could do.  So I sent her to get the pediatric patient.  I think got a chest pain patient and was triaging them, when the other patient coded again.  I was didn’t need to go because there were 3 other nurses in the code. 
This is how crazy the night was…we also had a Altered Mental Status and a few minor things.  There was a total of 5 nurses and 1 doctor and one Tech.  So we were all busy.  The family decided not to code the next time her heart stopped.  I never mentioned to him that it was pass his time to do triage.  I waited till the patient expired and he was done charting. 
Then when we got the next triage I told him it was his turn.  Because we all had done triage tonight but him.  He turn and said I had a critical patient.  Me being the smart ass I am stated “Um you use that excuse alot.”  He then comment that maybe if we could learn to work a code or didn’t have to call on him every time a critical patient came in he could do triage.  I was shocked.  Not angry but hurt.  He made me feel like I was an incompetent nurse.  That I had no idea what I was doing.  I said forget it I will get the triage.  I almost cried while out in triage.  I have never felt so sorry for myself in a long time.  I know I ask for his help or his suggestions but that’s because he is charge and a season nurse.  I always listen to what he suggests.  I thought that’s what a charge nurse was all about.  To support you and teach you?  Am I wrong?  If he felt like we were all slacking in our job when it came to a sick patient then why didn’t he take us under his wing and teach us?  I have never felt so bad at work…not since I first graduated as an RN.
What a prick.  I let him get under my skin.  I let him make me cry all the way home in the car.  He is our leader…wth   This was the first time I really wanted to quit my job.  To look at him and say Fuck you I quit…but I was at least smart enough to keep my mouth shut…probably the reason I cried.  If I can’t cuss and carry on then I break down and cry.  Yea I know it sounds a tad mental.  I shall leave you with my leader quotes I posted…not that he will think it pertains to him.  Since his head is so far up his ass.

Hooters: tmi

So at least once a month the crew tries to get together and have a meal together.  Be it breakfast, lunch or dinner.  This time it was time to go to Hooters.  Now mind you I would never think I would ever set my feet inside this place full of boobs.  However this is my 3rd trip and they do have some of the best boneless wings.  Even better than Buffalo wild wings.  Though I still love buffalo wild wings fried pickles better.  So we went out and had a blast.  Last time I wanted to ask the waitress if we could have a different waitress since she was boobless.  Yea yea I know that’s mean.  But hey it’s hooters.  Not look like an 8yr old boy place.  This go round we had our ER tech with us.  This is a guy that wants to share WAY to much information when he has had a few to many.  Or any at all…  He asked questions like where was the wildest place you had sex, have you had a 3some and other blah blah stuff.  Who the hell really needs to hear this trash.  Especially since you have to work with these people.  Do you really think I am going to air out my dirty laundry so my coworker will know all.  I think not.  I also wonder if he is just feeling out to see who the work ho is so he can make his move.  BLARG.  No thanks I don’t want to play this game…TAXI

House Horror: Man style

Even though we have signed and I still never though my husband would get on board with purchasing a house.  He was worried constantly about can we afford it?  Now that he is on board he is sucking all the fun out of this new adventure.   He has shown me at least 5 times how he plans on laying out the dog kennels and fencing.  And asking each time what do I think.  Which I learned the hard way isn’t anything he wants to hear.  I mentioned that it appeared a lot smaller than they had with the old home.  Which set him off for 2 days.  We fought over the location of the bedroom furniture.  He want nothing to cover the vents.  Which makes sense but why would I want half his stuff on my side of the room and my stuff on his side?  Makes no sense to jumble everything around to make it “fit” if it’s not functional either.  Another fight for 2 days.  Also he wasn’t happy that I wasn’t going to be awake when the grader showed up.  Hello I work nights.  What’s the difference he was at work when he showed up.  It’s like working night shift doesn’t count.  I can just sleep whenever.  WTF.  He has bitched about the location of the Dish network lines and the internet lines…blah blah blah.
What’s even weirder he just stands in the yard and stares at the house.  Even the neighbor called to ask what he was doing.  At least he is excited to help pack and take things down.  Like the under pinning, the flower garden and the fence.  Problem is he is too excited.  He tried to take the fence down weeks too early.  Hello how do you want to potty 7 dogs?  No thanks.  He just thinks he can leave them kenneled till then.  NOPE.  How would you like to stay out there with them.  He helped take things off the wall…including the kids towel rack.  Um they said it would be at least 4 weeks till we move in.  Um where are they suppose to hang the towels till then?  He also packed a lot of his clothes.  Almost too many.  I had to stop him from packing too much.  I asked him how often did he expect me to do laundry?  UGH!   I am so ready for this house to be done with!

House of Horror: Bucket Bullshit

Okay so I have been posting forever about this house that we have finally signed for.  The asshole in front of us (man’s uncle) decided that he wasn’t happy that when we had our land survey he didn’t own as much as he thought.  So he has been an ass  click here to see more.  So the in-laws go on vacation.  The asshole stalker neighbor decides to put a bucket in the drive.  I discover this on my way home from work after working 12 hours of night shift and running into it.  I was not a happy camper.  Here’s a pic   His land is the grass on the (L) and my in-laws are on the right. This is our right of way.  So guess who is stopping by that day?  The Graders.  Just what I need is for the construction workers to be unable to get there huge equipment up to the new land.  I have had enough.  I call the law and they send a deputy out.  I receive a call back on my answering machine, since I was sleeping, that we would not have any more property disputes.  Needless to say the bucket moved to the grassy part of his land.  Which is fine with me.  He also refrained from standing outside to stalk the construction workers.  Guess it helped to mention about him cussing out the surveyor.  Stupid asshole.

Grinds my Gears: Lazy Charge

So we have a charge nurse that really was good at his job.  He applied to flight nursing and was declined due to his weight.  He is about 70 lbs. over weight.  Yes this job can do this.  Why?  Because you are in a helicopter which can only allow a certain amount of weight on board.  You never know what size your patient is going to be so they can help manage the weight by controlling how much the nurse and paramedic weigh.  Anyway ever since he was unable to get his dream job he has really slacked off.  I mean he literally sits around and plays on his phone, looks at car parts on eBay or house shops online.  Even during the busiest times of the night.  This really irks me.  What irks me more is that he has been schedule to do triage and he find every opportunity to avoid it.  His main excuse was that he is bad luck in triage.  If he goes out there 10 more sign in.  Well that’s changed now I am the black cloud of triage.  In fact one doctor will ask me when am I scheduled for triage in hopes he will be gone before that.  It’s not like I get backed up.  They just seem to all load off a bus or something.  Anyway besides the laziness he is trying to take most of the credit.  He will sit there all night plugging in the vital signs from the monitor and checking our charts.  He does help catch mistakes.  He then “knows” the patients yet he never set foot in the room.  When day shift comes in he rattles off report like he actually did something.  This seriously pisses me off.  He is a great guy outside of work.  We all figured he was burnt out and upset about the job loss.  However this has been going on for MONTHS now.  I really don’t want to rat him out. Because I don’t want to make it worse.  So do I confront him or go straight to the boss?  I am not the only one that has seen this.

I Can't Breathe!

It never fails.  When you are going to have a bad case it always seems to arrive the first hour of your shift or the very end of it.  This one showed up about and hour before quitting time.  Unresponsive.  Vital signs are great and he snoring.  So I am cutting clothes off, while triage nurse gets info, someone is starting a line and getting blood and then I alert the ER doc.  Who isn't happy that we waited this long.  That would be the triage nurses fault since he is also the charge nurse.  But what do I know.  Anyway.  The doc gets history from family which doesn't help.  No one seems to know what this guys  new depression med is or if it's a narcotic.  So the doctor orders Narcan to reverse possible over dose.  He has had 2 rounds of it no luck.  Doctor orders Remazicon just in case it's a benzo over dose.  I on the other hand would like to shove a catheter in this guy so we can get a temperature and output.  Before the ER doctor wakes him up and I can't get a Urine to find out what the hell he has taken.  Nope off to CT scan where the dude wakes up screaming.  I can't breathe!  I can't breathe!  All the while thrashing around on the CT table.  Needless to say  he was breathing just fine.  Now the unresponsive is acting like a full blown bath salts patient.  Fantastic.  No Urine now...and no CT.  Back to the ER to sedate the patient because he is still thrashing and yelling at the top of his lungs.  Apparently the Remazicon worked.  So lets put more drugs on board.  Makes plenty of sense to me. Now the doctor is thinking about intubating the patient.  Wouldn't that have been easier in the beginning?  She then mentions remind me to intubate first ask questions later...Welcome to the night shift rodeo.

Strange case

So here is a strange case for you.
Patient comes in with girlfriend.  Apparently refuses to be placed in a gown.  All he wants is stitches and to go home.  Upon going into room to find out why with the Er doc, I noticed a man who is swollen on the left side on the head.  In fact, the swelling is so bad he cannot open his left eye.  Apparently he fell off a ledge and landed head first.  He continues to insist to the doctor all he need is stitches.  The doctor explains that he needs a full trauma work up.  Especially since it was a 15ft drop when he face planted.  Er Doc explained that he could have fractures, air or blood in the brain.  Patient continues to argue.  All the while the girlfriend has this shit eating grin on her face.  Doctor tries to appeal to her to no avail.  Even after multiple attempts of the doctor explaining this could lead to permanent disability or death.  20 mins later we were able to start an IV, get blood and order x-rays and CT’s.  To which she say all he needs is an x-ray why do we need blood or a CT.  I tried to explain why.  Of course she is looking at me like she has he medical degree.  I once again get the ER doc.  Who spends another 15mins explaining this isn’t burger king you can’t order of the menu.  He explained we need to cover all bases so nothing gets missed.  I explain to them that if they are worried about financial payment that we have many ways to help with that.  She just ignored the lowly nurse. Doctor examines the patient and I assist.  He could feel the fractures of the nose.  He explains this as he is examining the patient. He also has a cut that will need suturing but that is the least of his problems.  The girlfriend bitches about CT the neck when all his injuries appear to be the head.  Did I mention she still had this shit evil grin on her face now?

The girlfriend then bitches about the extra bag of fluids and how all the hospital is pretty much doing is making the bill more expensive.  No matter how much we try to justify why we were doing a procedure or med she always had an excuse.  No matter the risk of death or injury she still was a smart ass.  The doctor mention that he had a case that was look less severe and she had blood and air where it didn’t belong.  They both then complained that due to 1 case they were going to have to all the same tests. 

Third time the doc had to explain himself.

Finally results are in:  You have a fractured nose, zygomatic process, air and blood that don’t belong, a crushed eye socket and now you need to be transferred to a trauma center for surgery.
You would think the light would go on.  HELL NO!  Now the girlfriend states it’s just like a broke arm.  Cast it and go on with it.  Now you want money for a surgery.  GAUGHGHGHGHGHG!  By this time my patience is about gone and I want to strangle this lady.  I explain to her why there is a difference.  Nope I am the dumb nurse and she is a Medical professional.  Which by the way the doctor comments in one of his educational sessions.  That if she had a degree in medicine she could have cause to argue with him.  He would be happy to explain everything to her and why these steps need to be taken. But unless she is a doctor she will have to understand that everything he does is for the concern of the patient’s safety and well being.
She still sat there with a shit eating grin.  Even argued that she could drive him to the hospital despite us telling her that it was unsafe for the patient.
Did I mention said patient was intoxicated?  I still wonder if she beat him with a bat.  I don’t know about you but if my significant other might die I would want everything possible done for him.  Unless I wanted him dead….which is what vibe I was getting from this chick.  Stupid people shouldn’t breed!

House, Horrors and Stupid Insane Stalkers

Well It's finally official.  WE HAVE SIGNED!!!  yes I can't believe it either.  I still think I am in shock.  We are officially homeowners.  No longer a tin can owner...yippee.  All that hard work and schooling has finally paid off.  The grader comes today...

Which slides me into the HORROR...when the contractor stopped by the last time the crazy neighbor came barreling out of his house to yell and carry on.  Tell him that no one better touch his land...blah blah blah. See here for whole story click here.  So I wonder if this is going to happen all over again when the grader shows up.  I really hope not.  I don't have the patience today.  In fact I may have to put up a pay pal icon to help with bail money.  I really think he is stalking us.

He spends his time on his back porch watching us if we are outside.  So I think we need to get our chairs and face him at his garden while he is out there...give him a complex...ugh

Things that make you go..WTH

Okay I was driving home and noticed this idiot.  This looks like a dog in the back of a truck right?  Nope.  Its a pick up truck that has the fiber glass cover on the back.  He is standing on top of that.  Mind you he is chained to the truck for his safety...Safety?  I think not.  One slam on the brakes that dog is going to slide and hang himself off the side of the truck.  What is wrong with people around here?  I have never seen such disregard for safety or care of their dogs in all my life.  Good grief.

Let the shit hit the fan

So as I was saying that buying this house has seriously been a nightmare.  But I really wasn’t expecting my neighbors (family member) to join in the fun of it.  Apparently we pissed said neighbor when the surveyor came and place our little stakes in the ground.  He was upset to find out that he didn’t own as far back as he thought.  Well after the nightmare that day that the bank did to us the dealer sent out the contractor to stop by.  That way he could see if there will be anything in the way of placing our home on our land.  For instance we have a building and a barn that they have to pull this monstrosety through.  We the contractor was measuring the driveway to see if there would be enough room.  The asshole   neighbor came flying out of his house along with his one-legged heifer wife.  They started yelling and saying that not one wheel of their truck will touch his land.  Blah blah blah and how he owns most of the driveway.  Which I believe he is full of shit.  So now we have to remove a tree so we can get our house to our land.  WTF.  He would rather kill a tree than harm his grass?  Grass not shrubs, flowers or anything that might get damage.  Grass and btw sand.  Where the drive washes out at the bottom of the hill.   He is such an a-hole aw hell he is the whole flipping ass.  So I thought that would be the end of it.
Nope my father in law went down to try to talk sense into his brother.  Boy that went over like a turd in a punch bowl.  His one-legged heifer  called the cops.  Cried and said that her husband was being beaten up.  Really?  You had to hide behind your woman’s skirt?  Awwww…are we a pussy?    
Anyway my father in law pretty much told the officer of his harassment of the kids, the name calling and the flipping of the bird.   The cop tells him that he might be able to get along with his neighbors better if he stopped acting that way.
So what does he do?  After the cop leaves he takes tent stakes and stake off his land.   And places a tent stake in the drive way.   Now I don’t know about you but I don’t drive with a flipping magnify glass.  Who the hell is going to see that?  My tire which will probably receive a flat.  Hope he like’s purchasing new ones.  After all is said and done he wanted my father in law to shake his hand.  WTF?  Nothing was solved. 
As soon as I got home from the grocery store my father in law had to show me how I need to drive up the drive way from this day forward.  I told my father in law I would try that but in the freaking dark I will never see that stake.  I also told him I plan to sue when it damages my car.  He instructed that I needed to be nice so as I don’t upset him worse.  Who the effin cares.  I don’t.  In fact I am thinking about placing a nice compost pile at the borderline of our property.  Maybe placing a fan to wharf the smell directly to his screened in back porch.   Or hello the dog kennels so they can bark at him the entire time he is working in the garden.  UGH!  But I won’t I still have to live here.  Though I am tempted to call the law every time he drives since I know he is most likely intoxicated.  But if he keeps cat calling my kids while they wait for the bus I am calling the law….oh and the stake now has a bucket over it.  I guess my FIL told him about the lawsuit…it amazes me the comments I hear about this family member and how no likes him.  Yet they still hang around him. 
I figure the water meter will be the next big hurdle.  Since it’s on his piece of land.  I did love my FIL telling him he could get his damn mail box of his land then.

House of horror: Signing nightmare

Really...?  Suppose to sign Friday.  We were 15mins away from the company when the bank called our dealer to tell him there was a flaw in our paper work and it would be 3 more days before we could sign.  She tried to say that it was because our percentage rate went down.  However that was incorrect.  After once again going up the ladder of bosses.  Found out the my loan officer dropped the ball.  She filed the wrong papers.  Then had us sign the wrong ones.  We had to resign discloser papers and there is a 3 day waiting period.  So now it’s been pushed off for Wednesday.  I did receive a 75 dollar gas card.  I was also told that no matter what it took we would sign Wednesday.  Meaning they would meet us in our town this time.  Instead of us traveling over a hour away.  They told the company to pay the notary what ever to get this done.  Want my opinion they should helicopter and deliver to my house as much problems I have had with Vanderbilt bank.  Never use them…EVER
On the lighter side of things our house is been manufactured and arrived on the lot while we were waiting to hear back from Vice president of bank.  So we got to tour the house.  Well pieces of it.  We were able to see our living room, one of the kids rooms, the guest bathroom, master bedroom, the kitchen and utility room.  The only thing we didn’t get to see was the master bath, kids closet and one other bedroom.   Here is a pic of the wall and crown molding.   color of the carpeting.
   Color of the wood flooring. 

It did make us feel a little better that the house was in.  The sad part is it’s ready and the bank can’t get off their ass to get the papers sign.  It’s like telling a fat kid here’s some cupcakes but you can’t eat them…grrr
I swear if they mess up Wednesday someone might have to bail me out!

I want one..

Okay I really should say my daughter wants one of these…

You place the shirt on this and grabbing certain sections will  help you fold your clothes correctly.

This was seen on Big Bang…the new addiction in our lives

Here it is in motion:

Shot of Reality

Dear Starbucks,
I want to thank you for not playing the music so loud to make my ears bleed, but for the love of Pete could you please turn down the AC.  My teeth are chattering so much I can barely hear the person across from me.
Sincerely,
So cold I am tempted to get the blanket out of my car

---

Dear No Name,
Yea you know who you are.  You just get on my nerves.  Must be nice to have no job and lay around on your ass while your man does all the work.  I am so tired of the back stabbing and bitching.  Do you think it won’t get back to me?
Sincerely
Get a life and quit talking about everyone else's

---

Dear so called boss
I do love the changes in the ER but do you think maybe we could not change it weekly?  I have a hard enough time locating supplies already.  Pick a place and keep it there already.
Sincerely
I hate playing find the supplies it’s not Easter quit hiding stuff.  Thanks

---

Dear Charge Nurse,
Sometimes watching you read the news paper or looking at your car parts on the internet while at work makes me want to stab you with my pen.  Could you please do your job.  I hurt nearly everyday and still seem to get my job done.  It’s one thing to have an off day every once in awhile but  the rest of us are tired of picking up your slack everyday.  Just because there is no critical patient doesn’t mean you get to sit on your ass till there is one.
Sincerely,
Can we trade you like they do in the major leagues?  Because a few of us have some relief charge nurses in mind.

---

Dear Bank Lady,
I truly hope you lost your job after I spoke with your boss.  I noticed I haven’t received any more email from you lately. 
Sincerely
So sad to see you go

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House of Horror

So I have yet to get my house.  If it’s not one road block it’s another.  After the company that makes the house finally got the blue prints done and approved by me the bank let the paper lapse.  Meaning I had to turn in more information since it expired on  July 5th.  You would think the stupid bank would have sent me a message so I could get these items yet again.  Nope and now they needed social security cards.  My husband has no idea where his is.  Wonderful right?  Meaning yet again we would be delayed.  The bank loan lady also mention that if we got delay to much more all the paper work and loan would have to be done again.  Including the appraisal.  Which already cost 400 dollars the first time around.  So I became highly enraged and called the bank and spoke to the boss.  I explained that she should have sent out a letter for me to get the expired papers when it expired 3 weeks ago.  Plus she should have mentioned months ago that we needed our social security cards.  I told him that the whole deal was getting ready to expire and there would be no way to get to closing on the weekend.  I told him he better figure something out before it expired.  Because if I had to do everything over it will be with a different bank.
So that evening he called back.  It was at the closer.   Next day it was at the last stage but got delayed because something needed to be approved by the court.  Good grief.  This wasn’t the banks fault the court waited forever to send the paper back.  So finally we having a closing date!  It will be Friday.  I will be going there first thing in the am when I get home from working nights.  But hell I can lose a little sleep just to complete this stupid pain in the ass deal. 
Next part….is the building, grading and moving of stuff…

Unprotected Sex

No matter how protected you are some asshole seems to find away around your protection.  Apparently my computer has been using not strong enough protection.  My machine has gotten a virus off the net.  Wonderful right?  These dweebs that have nothing better to do that write programs to mess up people lives.  The working person, the blogger, the mother or just the average joe is the ones who get these diseases.  Why don’t they harass jackasses that really deserve it.  They could dish it out as punishment.  Hmm so you were visiting a porn site?  How to build a bomb site?  Bamm congratulations you have just received a nice internet disease.  Have fun surfing the net now.  Hmm wouldn’t that be even better for the stalkers out there?  The jack ass ex’s or hmm my boss.  Ok I know that’s wrong.  It’s just annoying to know that I had to have my computer completely redone.  Thank God I pay for the extra coverage.  So everything was covered.  Only problem is that I have to reload all my programs like, Msn messenger, itunes and many others.  Not to mention half the games I play.  Fun fun…At least my window’s live writer is up and running.  Not to mention Google chrome remembers all my bookmarks and websites that I have saved due to my Google plus account.  That was great since I have a lot of my favorite blogs I read on them.

Movie Critic time

• Avengers:  Best movie this year so far.  I was impressed that most of the superheroes were from the original movies they played in.  Well except for the Hulk but they can’t seem to keep the same character anyway.  I would have loved to seen more battle scenes and less time recruiting them.  I still love Iron man!  I give it 4 skulls    and a half.
• Dark Shadows:  I really think Johnny Depp has split personalities.  He can play some of the weirdest characters and such vast depth.  This however was not one of my favorite characters he portrays.  Even though I love vampires this was a cute movie.  Not scary and far from the best.  2  and half.
• Chronicle~ okay I could have sworn I seen this movie before seems very similar to the movie Covenant.  Except this movie doesn’t have anyone cute in it and made me a tad bit bored.  Skip this movie.  You will never get those hours back if you watch it.  Not even 1/2 a skull
• Snow white and the huntsman:  this was a really good movie however I am not a fan of the chick from twilight.  There were a lot of facial expressions that reminded me of scenes from it.  I wasn’t really impress with her acting.  I did however like the plot and story line.  The witch/queen was fantastic in this movie.  I would have like to seen the queen do more magic and to have more battle scenes.   Still a great movie to watch.
• This means war~ a cute movie that has Reece witherspoon who is being fought over by two CIA agents who like her.  She isn’t aware that they know each other.  My favorite part is when one of them shoots the other with a knock out dart to kept the him from scoring with her.
• One for the money~  there really hasn’t been a movie I didn’t like Katherine Heigl until this one.  First off I think that is suppose to be a jersey accent…whatever it was it made it sound like fingers down a chalk board.  Here is an excerpt of the movie description from IMB>Unemployed and newly-divorced Stephanie Plum lands a job at her cousin's bail-bond business, where her first assignment puts her on the trail of a wanted local cop from her romantic past.  Unemployed and newly-divorced Stephanie Plum lands a job at her cousin's bail-bond business, where her first assignment puts her on the trail of a wanted local cop from her romantic past. on skull for the fact I still like Katherine…lol

What I am looking forward too:  Spiderman, Brave and Prometheus.

More Google Search and how you found my blog

• 
• gunshot hole in pillow~ why does that sound like one of my as the redneck world turns posts?  Hmm well the summer isn’t over yet.
• pig money box~ that’s just weird …what the heck is that?  A piggy bank that can box?  Or money that drops out of some pig’s box.  No idea
• People eating candy and falling asleep~  first off why are you searching that combination?  Who falls asleep while eating candy.  Especially if it’s chocolate.  I am going to stay wide awake it all of it and look for more.
• Falling asleep at work pictures~  well no such luck on this blog.  I am usually bitching about being over worked.  Then again maybe I am talking about some of the prn lazy nurses we have.  That might be a possibility

Thanks to all of those people who have accidently stumbled upon my blog.  I hope you come back and visit my insane asylum again.

Things that make you go hmm: You cut yourself where

• Lady came in fell off a chair and landed on her hootchie…on the post of the chair.  It took 3 stitches to repair her hoo-ha. Ouch…along with major bruising to her buttocks…her friend tells her…that’s a new way to get wood Hun…sounds like my friends..lol
• Guy was jumping out of a tree to land in a lake.  Limb broke huge laceration to foot with possibility of tree still in foot.  Surgery anyone?  Look like string cheese…ouch
• Inmate got clocked a few times in the face, laceration to the eye lid ouch..2
• Guy came in I have a small cut to the hand.  Take of towel to see he degloved his finger.  Don’t know what that is see picture below…warning a bit disturbing.
• Inmate sliced open his abdomen just so he could get a holiday away from the jail…that’s a whole new meaning to a dream vacation.

Apparently this dude got his wedding ring caught on something…it was similar to this but his pointer finger

Stupids: more Pajama people

When you think the pajama people couldn’t get worse.  You have the pajama creators.  If you haven’t seen these new creations take a tour in the pj department in wally world.  There are fuzzy shorts.  You know those fuzzy thick pants to keep you warm in the winter?  Apparently they now have them in booty shorts.  Do you know what is funnier or should I say sadder? My youngest was telling me a girl at school wears them for gym shorts.  Really?  WTH!  Besides the fact this is a child, where is the mother in all this or even the school gym teacher?  That is not a statement child…unless you are going for MORON!

Shoulder Blues

SO …I thought the shoulder was doing great.  No tens unit at work for almost 2 weeks.  A whole week of no pain meds including muscle relaxers…and bam couple days ago it reminded me it was still there.  Nothing is worse than a muscle spasm.  If I had to explain it I would say it’s similar to a Charlie horse that you get in you calf.  Only I can’t reach it to rub the stupid pain out and it’s worse when I try to use my right arm or hand.  Fun right.  I know that my physical therapist thinks that I might have to switch from an ER nurse to a desk nurse.  But I didn’t lift anyone or thing.  It was just over use of my (R) arm.  So what the hell am I suppose to do (L) handed?  I guess I could work in construction and turn the stop/slow sign…frustrating.  I couldn’t continue on in the army because of hurting my knee and now I can’t do nursing.  What the fuck people.  I know people who sit on their ass and could work…but don’t and I want to work and can’t .  This is so frustrating.  Don’t ya just love the roller coaster of life.  I want off for awhile please.

Shot of Reality: Flip floppers, Old bags & Bug killers

Dear motorcycle rider,
Really riding with flip flops and shorts is a wise decision?  Ah I see you do have a helmet on.  Apparently you already have damage to the brain you could skip it also.
Sincerely,
You must be so smart.  Especially if you have to put your feet down real fast.
PS enjoy your road rash and protruding bones moron

---

Dear Dumb Redneck,
I know it was really import to get that beer from the mini mart.  Word of advice when you back up your huge SUV make sure people aren’t parked in the parking spot 20 feet away.  Apparently your mammoth of a vehicle requires more of a backup range than normal.  That was me banging on your back glass.
Sincerely,
Not a fan of being squashed like a bug.  I was the bug sitting on the bike who you almost hit.

---

Dear Old Man,
Blinkers are meant to be turned off,  Speed limits should be obeyed within a 5 mile limit,  and for Pete sake stay the heck out of the hammer lane.
Sincerely,
Unable to pass on Interstate with idiot going 55 in a 70 zone….AHHHHH!

---

Dear Man,
Please keep your comments to yourself about the house.  Since I am the one that has found all the info, copied all the papers and spent hours of my days off looking and planning “our” house. 
Sincerely,
The only reason this is “our” house is because it will take 2 incomes to pay for it.  So shut up before I flip out!

---

First and Second date

Okay if you are not familiar with this monstrosity that I seem to find myself watching it’s about a girl who gets pregnant in school.  Which seems to be happing more often these days.  The thing that’s worse is everyone in this show is sleeping with someone or more than one.  I don’t let my kids watch this.  I did at first until they continued to sleep around and promote that getting pregnant is all fun and cool.  Anyway here’s the real reason I am writing this blog my oldest daughter went on her first date.
That is awww…and all but it’s also scary as hell.  Especially if you watch this trash up above in said picture.  Of course we have had the “sex” talk and guys want sex talk…blah blah.  It’s still cute to see them go on their first day and trying to keep those thoughts at bay here’s how her first day went.
He was late.  Yup almost an hour late.  Not on purpose mind you just was so nervous got the time wrong.  He did bring flowers…not because he was late.  Saw him buying those the night before.  Anyway being the joker I am…I had to mention that my husband was beginning to get the shot gun out…for standing her up…bawahahahah
Next I took some poorly sneaky picture with my camera…trying not to embarrass my daughter.  Even though while we were walking into the theater I mention they will be sitting 5 row in front…no making out and no sneaking out.  MOMMMMM!  cried my oldest…bawahahahh.  After we went out for pizza so they could chit chat some.  He was so nervous he kept forgetting where his conversation was going and got lost mid sentence.
About 3 weeks later she went on her second date.  I did not chaperone this one.  They went to the local skating rink.  Apparently he really can’t skate and waddled like a duck as my daughter was telling me.  Then again my daughter can’t walk up steps since she did a face plant on them on the way up to the porch.  Which caused the small dogs to yap and the mom to shout “no kissing on my porch!”   “We’re not kissing…mom!”  I love giving her a hard time.

Grinds My Gears:House aggravation

Okay I am at the point I don’t want a damn house.  The guy from the first place is raising Cain to the Norris dealerships.  (The type of housing we are going with).  First at the on in one city.  So no one would help the salesman at the one I am currently going through.  So he switched plants…same issue! This Asshole has eyes somewhere in the Norris plant apparently and caught wind that I was getting a Norris somewhere else.  He called that plant manager and they refused to help the guy I am working with.  Stated that they didn’t want to get into the middle of a sales war and if he went through their plant then need to get all the sales profits.  Even though  ugh my guy has done all the leg work.  SO 1 effing day before we close we are switching companies from a Norris to a clayton Rutledge. Pushing yet again our closing date.  This plant will still build the exact layout.  However once again on my day off I had to pick colors out and wait for a new closing date.
And all my man can say is “see maybe we shouldn’t get a place”
kill me now!
Dear God, please grant me patience today, because if you grant me strength, I'm going to need your help to hide the bodies. Amen!

New Look

Okay I still wanted the scary look but without all the gore.  What do you think?  Unfortunately I can't figure out what I did to my twitter feed that is all in white.  I have tried re-installing the plug in but to no avail it had failed.  Any ideas?  I think it looks a little brighter and not so drab.  Can everyone read the text ok?

Therapy

So I have been going to therapy for almost a month now.  I have been to therapy before back when I had my surgery.  What I wasn’t expecting this time was not advancing like I did after my surgery.  It’s sad to say that I almost wished I needed surgery.  I was healing much faster then than I am now.  I am almost at a stand still.  You would think that nerve damage would be harder to come back from than muscle damage.  But apparently that’s not true.  I have had the epidural block and yes it did help the numbness.  But it hasn’t help the muscle spasms in the (R) shoulder.  I went back to my original doctor and he switched my muscle relaxer and extended my physical therapy.  Since my neurosurgeon wouldn’t listen to me.  However…
My neurosurgeon finally sent me to a neurologist that specializes in trigger therapy.  I had 5 shots of xylocaine shot into my should in trigger areas.  Burned like the devil but I guess if you hurt bad enough you will try anything to get better. It took a few days but I could tell the difference some.  I have noticed that some of the pain is coming back.  I am hoping that it subsides before it consumes me again.  Because the therapist still thinks that I will have to switch what I do for a living.  Which really depresses me.  I was home for a little over a month, used all my sick time, all my vacation time and now what?  It’s not like I have money or time shooting out my butt to change my way of life.  Plus we decided to move forward on getting the house.  Why?  Because this tin can is falling apart and if we wait much more we will have to sink more money into this sinking ship of a home.  UGH!!  Frustrating.

Life goes on...

I have been so busy lately trying to get back on my feet that I have seem to have neglected everyone on the net.  Not just blogger.  Even Facebook, MSN and twitter. It's amazing just how fast life goes on.  I am so far behind on everyone's blog and I apologize.   I find myself less and less on the net due to work, family, physical therapy and trying to find a new place to live.  Pretty much all I do now is update my Facebook status.  I have even been forgetting to wish people happy birthday on Facebook.  Which is kinda sad.  Of course it doesn't help that I rarely use my computer anymore now that I have my iPad.  I check out the news feed, leave comments and leave status updates and go on with life.  Quick and Easy.  Unfortunately the iPad is a little more limiting that my computer.  It lacks the birthday warnings that are on the right hand side like my computer.  lol... 

  I spend most of my days off now in physical therapy so I can try to keep my job.  It kind of takes up most of my time.  The other part of my days off seem to be revolved around millions of errands.  I would help if I wasn't the only one in my family doing these errands.  People probably think I have fallen off the edge of a cliff or something.  I am still here and hope to catch up on some blog reading.

Another guilty pleasure I have is reading.  Alot of my authors I read have published some new books and I seem to be caught up in them right now.  That and I have discovered some new authors that have kept my attention.  I love my iPad for the ability to read in the dark when the man is sleeping.  But I still use my nook everywhere else.  It seems to be easier to read now that I have an e- reader.  I have even notice that my youngest is reading much more now that she has one too.  Too bad I can't say that about my oldest who is wrapped up in Facebook and her new boyfriend.  That is a whole blog in itself. Hoping to get back to blogging soon.  I will update everyone on the therapy process shortly.  Hope everyone is doing well.

Spam

Sorry no more anonymous comments will be allowed. Blogger can't seem to stop the spam from getting through. I was just filtering the comments on my own but lately I have been receiving so many spam comments daily it's driving me insane. If you want to leave a comment an identity will be required. Sorry for the inconvenience. But the spam is more annoying.

Addictions

So I have some new addictions like I need more of those.
Near the hospital a Dunkin Donuts has opened up.  Mind you I already have and addiction to Starbucks.  However I can obtain more liquid crack cheaper and in bigger quantities.  I get the same jittery caffeine high but I guess I would be like comparing cocaine to meth.  It’s just not as good.  But I guess you get what you paid for.  But at least I don’t have to drive 12 miles out of the way at work to get some coffee.   I thought I would save money.  Nope now instead of getting my addiction once a week like I did with Starbucks I find myself drinking Dunkin Donuts coffee every day I work.  So I am back to square one of my addiction.  Sad I know

The next addiction involves that boob tube
I have discovered Big Bang Theory.  Well I should say since the beginning of the year.  So I find myself watching the program on any channel that is playing the reruns along with the new ones on the main programming channel.  I think the only thing I would have love to see more of is the actor that played Darlene on Roseanne to have a bigger part.  It’s funny to see a combination of old sitcom actors thrown together in this hilarious show.  It’s like the took the best of each worlds and crammed them together.  Love it.  So I shall leave you with one of my favorite Sheldon moments.

Today’s post is brought to you by the letter C and S and word NOW

I truly need some coffee before work today.  I really don’t think dunkin donuts is going to cut it.  I need Starbucks!